Birds of War
by Commander3428961
Summary: (Big thanks, to other users for help. VERY AU). Before and during the war.. Experiments were held.. Now.. Years after their creation, six children, with a big secret, are drafted. But they're in good hands. Assigned to the 4077
1. Chapter 1

(Yeah. I know. But don't worry. Hopefully, this thing will be good enough).

(Vienna, Austria, 1935).

Three American couples on vacation in Vienna. Only one of whom, would return back to the States. The other two.. killed when the SS invaded their home.. And stole their children.

One guard, Fritz Schmidt, got in contact with the one's father. Fritz found the children. He said, "Damn Nazis. Thinking they own the world." He opened the door to the cages. He, unseen, loaded them into the truck.

(Austrian/French border).

American scientists, Jeb Batchelder, and Valencia Martinez, stood waiting. The truck came up. A man in an SS Corporal's uniform, stepped out.

They got ready to leave. The guard said, "Easy! My name is Fritz Schmidt. Corporal of the Waffen SS. But.. I've had it. I'm through with Hitler, Himmler and the others. The people of Germany deserve better. As do you, and these children."

After a while.. They took the children. Jeb asked, "You want to come with? America's pretty great." If he was through with the Nazis.. Why not come to the one country on Earth.. that opposes him more than anything?

Fritz replied, "No. My place, is to stay. In case Himmler tries these again." He looked to the border. Seeing patrols arriving, "Get to Paris. Get back to the States. I'll contact you, if this happens again."

(1939).

The lab did it again. This time.. 2 Black Austrians, killed. Their daughter stolen. Experimented on. Meant only to serve the Führer. But.. Fritz got to her first. He grabbed a radio and called Jeb. This time.. meeting at the docks in Vienna. Another liberation, gone through without a hitch.

Three years later.. another child taken. The son of a French family. His parents survived.. but they were afraid.

Fritz said, "May not have a family of my own.. But, I need to secure futures of these families." He freed the boy.

June 6, 1944.. The French boy's sister was born, and taken. Their mother, dead in childbirth. Their fathe. Killed by the SS. Fritz found her. He said, "The biggest operation of the entire war is about to happen, and these damn Nazi pigs are still stealing children." He got the bombers the coordinates of the lab. He took the girl(and a talking dog Himmler created) to the Austrian-French border. They took the child back to the States. Fritz.? Killed in the battle at Normandy. Luckily.. the Nazis lost. Forever.

(USA. 1950).

Six experiments. Human-Avian hybrids, flew in the air.

The eldest, a girl with long blonde hair and brown eyes. Dressed in a black and white stripped shirt, black jacket and jeans. This, was Maximum Ride. Known better as (and preferring) Max. The mother figure of her Flock.

Next to Max, a boy, just taller than her. Blue/Black hair and eyes. Dressed in all black. This was Fang. Max's second in command. The strong and silent type.

Then, a boy, about Fang's height, with red hair, and faded blue eyes, dressed in a white shirt and jeans. This was Iggy. The Flock member who was recently recovering from blindness. The Pyro.

Then, a young African-American girl, with brown hair(with a little highlight) and brown eyes. Dressed the most fashionably. This was Nudge. The motormouth.

Behind Nudge, a young boy, strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes, and dressed in a bomber jacket and jeans. This is Gazzy. Another Pyro.

Finally, the youngest. A girl with blonde hair, blue eyes and dressed in a white dress. This was Angel. The telepath, and younger sister of Gazzy.

After a short flight, the Flock came down to the house. There was a terrible surprise awaiting.

Max's parents.. held papers in their hands. On the couch, asleep, were Max's sister, Ella, and brother, Ari.

Max's father said, "Well, I'll have to send the kids off to the boarding school, in Ohio." He turned to Max, showing his papers. He'd been called to Britain.

Max's mother.. Was actually being sent to Kentucky. Order of President Truman.

Max tried everything.. But to no avail. After teary goodbyes.. They left. Knowing where to send the mail.

Then.. a CIA stooge named Flagg drafted Max and Fang. To a medical unit. The 4077 MASH unit. Problem? MASH is an acronym for Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. The Flock knew NOTHING about Medical procedures. Given that doctors experimented on them.. They didn't want to think about it.

But.. They went. The whole Flock went to Korea. Flagg's superiors questioned his sanity for drafting young people(particularly at the Flock's respective ages).. without giving reason for their drafting.

But.. Flagg had just ensured his own undoing.

The Flock arrived in Korea. At the 4077.

One of them, about 6'3, gray hair, dressed in a uniform and a fishing hat. He said, "Hello, everyone. My name is Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake. I am the Commander of the 4077th MASH UNIT. It's our duty in this police action, to heal the wounded. As best as we can. As of tomorrow.. This Mobile Army Surgical Hospital.. Begins the mobile part. Consider this, your last day of rest."

The Flock felt Henry was a good leader. Or would be.

The next day, they walked a whole six miles. The Flock had to deal with 2 struggles. One: Wearing the Army uniform everyday. Two: They had the urge to fly. But what if the enemy saw? What their comrades think? Still have to keep a secret.

They reached their destination and set up camp. Henry said, "Now we read who among us, has no medical training before drafting. You will be assigned to members of the unit who have the full experience, good and bad, of being a surgeon." He read the names off "Corporal Angel, will be assigned to company clerk, Corporal Walter O'Riley. Corporal Gazzy, will be assigned to the company Chaplin, Father Francis Mulchay. Corporal Nudge is assigned to the Head Nurse, Major Margaret Houlihan. Sergeant Iggy is assigned to the head of thoracic surgery, Captain McIntyre. Captain Pierce, Chief Surgeon. Sergeant 'Fang' is assigned to Captain Pierce. Finally, Captain Maximum Ride.." He saw Max sitting across from him, "I'll take you personally."

(Sorry if it sucked. More to come)


	2. Meeting your mentors

(This chapter takes the entire year of 1950, and the Flock's adjustment into a MASH unit).

(Uijeonbu, South Korea. MASH 4077. 1950. 6:00 AM).

The Flock set up their tents. In a MASH unit, all personnel must sleep in tents. Problem? Each tent can only hold a total of three people. As well, the personnel must divide their tents by gender (men sleep with men, women sleep with women). The Flock was getting used to being in the Army. Particularly, a MASH unit. Problem? MASH is an acronym for Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. The Flock had no surgical training. Luckily.. Henry assigned them to the right people. Max got out of her bed(or cot, rather) and walked out of the tent. She woke up Nudge and Angel. Everyone got into uniform, stepped out, and saw the boys in their uniform.

While it may seem like their perfectly comfortable with military protocol.m All six of the Flock were still adjusting. Having been first, stuck in cages and experimented on by Himmler's lapdogs.. Then, being liberated and carried across an ocean.. Then being sheltered by Max's parents, and still having to practice flying, and avoid detection.. Now, being treated like soldiers, after being drafted by a CIA stooge.

The uniforms, the wounded, the enemy shelling them every night. Particularly , the waking up early.

Max reported to Henry's office. The Commander of the MASH unit was sweating as he was finishing his paperwork.

Max saluted.

Henry asked, "You are.."

Max said, "Captain Max Ride, sir."

Henry smiled, "Ah. My new secondary Commander. What can I do for you?"

Max eased up her posture, and went into Mama Bear mode, "I'm not the most trusting person, neither are most of my family. We lived alone in a secluded area with our parents and other siblings, only to be drafted to a place where we don't know anyone for a reason that none of us have really been able to comprehend. We have no reason to trust you, but we have no reason to doubt you either. So you can try and be all buddy-buddy with us as much as you want, and we will try to make the best of this, but if you or any of your men do ONE thing to makes me trust you any less than I already do, than you can expect us to be gone in that same instance."

Henry said, "I understand, Captain. But, try to understand. Everyone here was drafted. None of us want to be here." He leaned forward, "We will try to work with you. But you must work with us. Hopefully, we will have the end of the war, soon."

Max sighed, "I hope so." She walked out of the office. She hoped things would go well.

Later, she saw the boys putting up their tent. She asked, they finished up, "How's everything?"

Fang replied, "Just finished the tent. Getting ready to go meet my new 'boss.'"

They walked into the 'Swamp.' The nickname for the officers' quarters. Frank left, so it was easy to get in. Trapper was sound asleep. Captain 'Hawkeye' Pierce. Tsll, black hair, blue eyes.. dressed in a red robe.. Other than the robe, the Flock thought he kinda looked like an older Fang.

Hawkeye saw the six new MASH personnel, "Awfully young. Drafted by some nut no doubt." He saw Fang, "Almost like looking into a younger mirror."

Fang replied, "I hope not. I need something to look forward to, when this is all over."

Hawkeye got a chuckle out of that. He said, "Heh. What's your name, kid?"

Fang replied, "Fang. I'm the Sergeant who's been assigned to you."

Hawkeye said, "Ah. My new shadow. Well, I'll show you around."

They followed him around, showing Iggy where to go, because of his blindness.

Later, when Iggy was on his own. Making our some Korean land marks. He'd heard the breathing of two people. While Iggy couldn't see Trapper, he was certainly not invisible to the female personnel of the 4077. His brown hair, blue eyes, and the fact of his obvious charisma.

Trapper was fratenizing with one of the Nurses. He said, "Want one? "

Iggy replied, "One what? I'm just trying to find the bathroom."

Trapper, not knowing Iggy's blindness, "It's over that way." He pointed in the general direction.

Iggy, said, "What way?"

Trapper quickly got annoyed, "What's your name, kid?"

Iggy replied, "Sergeant Iggy. Freshly drafted from Arizona."

Trapper quickly realized, "Ah, my new shadow." He chuckled, "Can't wait to start your training"

Majors Burns and Houlihan. Margaret Houlihan was tall, blonde haired, blue eye, yet always acting like any other soldier.

Frank Burns. Black hair, and a face like a Ferret. Not much to say about his appearance.

Nudge came up behind them.

She said, "Major Houlihan? I'm Corporal Nudge. The new draftee, from Arizona?"

Houlihan responded, "Can I help you? "

Nudge's motormouth kicked in, :Actually, yes. Where's the OR? Have you met Hawkeye? He's really nice. How long have you been a nurse? H-"

Houlihan yelled, "One thing at a time!"

Frank asked , "Are you sure Colonel Blake made the right decision, assigning her to you?"

Nudge said to Frank, "Bite me, Ferret Face."

Houlihan was suddenly offended. She yelled, "That is NO WAY to talk to a superior officer, young lady! " She turned to Burns, "And I understand your concern, Major. I will talk to Colonel Blake, and make sure that this is the right decision. If not, I will see what he wants me to do."

Nudge simply sighed, "This is going to be a long war. "

Gazzy walked into the tent that read 'Father Mulchay.' He knocked on the door, "You in there? "

A voice responded, "Yes. Just reading the Old Testament."

Gazzy asked, "The what? " Neither of his 'parents' ever really educated him on religion. Jeb due to being an atheist and Valencia due to it just. Never coming up.

Father Mulchay walked out of the tent. He was a tall man. Dressed in his Priest robes, glasses and sunhat. He had gray-ish hair, and Gazzy couldn't make out his eyes.

He noticed the confused look on Gazzy's face. He asked, "Is something wrong? "

Gazzy replied, "No. I just never heard of the Old Testament before"

Mulchay was confused, "It's a well known section of the Bible. I remember reading in your file that you were born in Parism France is a mostly Catholic country."

Gazzy replied, "I may have been born in Paris, but my family and I lived in a secluded area. My adopted parents never brought up religion. I've only ever heard of God in small talk."

Mulchay smiled, "Come on into my tent, then. We shall read about the Heavenly Father together."

Gazzy replied, "Okay!" He walked up to the Priest, both curious and excited.

(Clerk's office).

Radar, a young man with brown hair, glasses, and a youthful face. Company Clerk of the 4077. He was in his office , reading some reports, when Colonel Blake came in.

Henry said, "Radar, this is your new secondary clerk. "

Angel smiled, "Hello."

Radar said, "Hello. I'm -"

Angel, stopped him, "Radar, right? "

Radar was confused, "Yeah. But my real name is-"

Angel, "Walter O'Riley." They started to look suspicious, "It's.. on that paper you're about to send out."

Radar asked, "Where are you from? I'm from-":

Angel stopped him, "Ottumwa, Iowa, right? "

Radar was confused, "How did you -"

Angel, "Know that? Colonel Blake told me a lot about you."

Henry stood confused, "I did? Oh. Well, Radar I want you to show her the ropes, about being company Clerk."

Radar saluted, "Yes sir!" He pulled out Angel's file. He read, "Let's see. Born in Paris, France.." He became shocked, "June 6, 1944?!"

Angel asked, "Is that a problem? "

Radar was bewildered, "D-Day." He looked to her, "Who drafts a six-year old?"

Angel shrugged, "A CIA guy named Flagg."

Radar sighed "Oh, CIA. Figures " He puts the file down, "So.. You want to come read some.." He blushed, "Comics? "

Angel said, "Sure "

Angel and Radar got along. But they knew one thing. It was going to be a LONG war


	3. First time in the OR, and a decision

(Korea, 1950. 24 hours after Flock's arrival ).

Max and the Flock had been through a lot together but.. Walking around Korea. Got boring fast. Not a lot of things were diverse. The deserts all looked almost the same. Sand, some vegetation, and a LOT of rocks. When the 4077 finally stopped at the next site, they already had tents set up for the unit. One less thing to worry about.

Max said, when she knew no one could hear her, "Well, we may not be in the States, but it's just as hot as Arizona." She looked at her Flock. They had been under a lot of stress , having to move more than usual.

Fang and Iggy were walking together. None of the 4077 knew Iggy was blind, yet. But consider the situation. Stuck in a place full of doctors, where they expect you to do surgery. And telling them that they have a blind man, with them. It wouldn't go very well. But, they didn't seem to notice. Nudge was walking very close to Major Houlihan. While she stuck to the Major for protection, and Margaret was happy to protect her, they still weren't getting along with each other. Understandable, though. Gazzy and Angel however, were happy about this. They were with their assigned partners (Gazzy following around Father Mulchay and Angel following Radar).

So far, Radar, Hawkeye, the Father, and Trapper seemed okay. The Flock hadn't known kind authority, for a long time. But they were certain Frank was an ass. Margaret. Little difficult on the outside, but no doubt a softy on the inside. Henry. . Well. . Again, kind authority was rare for the Flock. they had been experimented on by Himmler's lapdogs. Everyone in the lab, had the title of Doctor (including Mengele ). So, Henry . The chief doctor. . Max has always been skeptical about authority.

They arrived at the next site. Moving the gear wasn't a problem. The biggest problem. . Angel's dog. Total. They always had a hard time getting him to shut up , back in the States. Since they arrived in Korea. . If it's bad enough , keeping the other secrets (Bird kids and Iggy's blindness ) a talking dog, would probably be the worst. Because no one knew, how annoying he was .

After all that, Henry called everyone to his office. The Flock were standing next to their respective mentors.

Henry read his notes "So . . We are here to aid the wounded. " He looked to Max, "You're secondary Commander. But, Frank is executive officer. So. When I'm not here, you two will have to agree on certain items. "

Frank looked angry, "A Captain. Giving me, a Major, orders? "

Max sarcastically replied, "No, I just have to stand here, and mindlessly agree with you. "

Henry said, "Alright , let's not start fighting. If we do, it's not going to end well." He looked to his paperwork, "The other MASH units were kind enough to leave this spot for us. But, we'll set up the rest ourselves. "

Max sighed mentally. She thought.. Maybe she SHOULD have killed Flagg when he drafted them. But, she didn't.

She looked to the others. Fang and Hawkeye got along pretty well. They'd only been there twenty-four hours and Hawkeye was like. One of the best friends you could have. Iggy had the same thing with Trapper. Max was glad. They needed someone to bond with, while they were there.

Gazzy certainly was learning, under Father Mulchay. The Priest was liked having a student. And Gazzy was happy to learn about God. Angel liked Radar. He seemed. . Out of place. A naive farm boy. excellent for Angel to work with.

Henry simply looked over his paperwork, "Tomorrow , Major Houlihan, you will be in command of the unit. Frank, Captain Ride and myself will look for the next site. "

Radar said, alarmed "Choppers, Sir! " He ran out of the room.

Soon, Choppers could be heard. Everyone raced to the OR. Everyone got into their surgical clothes (white aprons, gloves, etc ) and got ready to operate. For the rest of the 4077 , this was nothing new. For Max and the Flock, this was a whole new experience.

Max had seen her mother in surgical clothes before (her mother was a veterinarian ) and her father. she actually didn't know what he was a doctor of. He had a doctorate but, she never saw what he did.

Gazzy and Father Mulchay walked around the OR, making sure everyone was doing well. luckily, they were.

Angel and Radar were just outside of the OR. Ensuring that operations went smoothly. Angel had already learned quite a lot under Radar. But she was eager to learn more .

Fang and Nudge seemed to be having the most problems. They were shocked at what they saw . Almost as if they'd switched personalities. Fang, usually the strong and silent type, was babbling in horror seeing the patient's injuries. Nudge, usually the perky motormouth, was now more silent than ever. But Hawkeye and Houlihan calmed them down. They got their jobs done.

Trapper was annoyed with Iggy. He said, "Kid, this patient could die. Hand me that."

Iggy replied, "Hand you what? ! "

Trapper pointed to the instrument, "That thing, right there! "

This went on for a while, until Max yelled, "Oh , for God's sake, HE'S BLIND! "

Hawkeye said, sarcastically, " You sure? He seemed to be so easy to see before. "

Max said "It's true! Look! " She waved her hand in front of his face, his eyes didn't even attempt to follow it. showing his blindness.

Everyone murmured, as Iggy continued to work on his patient.

Frank yelled, "This is madness! letting a blind man into the OR! "

Max stood up for him, "Just because he's blind, doesn't mean he can't do surgery. Just give him a chance to prove that. "

Henry saw how much this meant to these kids. He said, "Let's see what he can do. " As Frank was about to protest, Henry finished, "And that's an order. "

Iggy sighed. He continued to operate. While he was blind, he had heightened senses. Particularly, his senses of hearing , smell, and most importantly in surgery, touch. He could hear and feel, almost everything that was off with the patient. He operated and, much to everyone's surprise, successfully saved the patient.

Henry said, after removing his surgical mask, "Damn. If you kids can do surgery blind. . I don't know what you're doing here. " He was baffled. Seeing someone preform surgery, blind? Almost impossible. But he just saw it. Something was special about these kids.

After the last patient was saved, Max had a grin on her face . She said, "Major Burns , is there something you want to say to Sergeant Iggy? "

Frank muttered it. Hawkeye said, "Frank, if you don't say it, you're sleeping outside , tonight. "

Trapper joined the joke, "And say it louder, my hearing isn't that good. "

Frank looked angry, and blurted out, "I'm sorry, alright? !"

(Later )

As the Flock left the OR, Max and Fang hugged (after washing, of course. ) Unknown to everyone else, Max and Fang started a romance shortly before being drafted.

Max asked, "So.. We need to decide. We stay, or are we leaving the 4077?"

Fang said, "I like Hawkeye. He's a good guy, a good doctor, and a good teacher. "

Iggy joined in, "I agree with Fang. I've only known Trapper for 24 hours. But he still seems like a good guy to me. "

Nudge simply sighed, "Margaret is. . A little rough around the edges. But I think she's a fine teacher."

Max looked to youngest two. Gazzy shrugged, "I don't want to leave, I like Father Mulchay . "

Angel smiled, "Radar's nice. I don't think he'd like it if we just up and disappeared. "

Max sighed. She admitted. . Though she's always been skeptical about authority. Henry was a good man. She said, "Alright. Looks like we're going to stay."

Only one person complained. Total . Who only complained, because he didn't like Klinger


	4. A secret discovered

(The secret is discovered, by the 4077 ).

Max was going on her morning walk. Making sure everyone else was sound asleep. She didn't see anyone awake except herself and her Flock. She spread her wings and her Flock, who follow her on her walks, followed her

They went for a short flight, in a place where they KNEW no NKs were. They flew around, tell two things happened. First, the sun came up. Second, Their wings get tired, just like the rest of their bodies. So, they returned to camp. Not for long, though.

Max was called to the CO's office. She walked in and saw Henry at his desk. Frank stood at the door. She took her hat off ,and placed it on the desk.

Henry said, "Okay. Today, you and I are going to be scouting the next site."

Max said, frustrated, "We spent all day, yesterday setting up this place. Now, you're going to move us to some other spot? Within a whole twenty-four hours? "

Frank simply told her, "MASH stands for Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. Keyword 'Mobile! "

Max stood up and told Frank, "So? Doesn't mean we move every day. "

Henry said, "Alright! Don't start fighting. We need to keep discipline. " He looked to Max, "We're not headed there right now, we just need to scout the site. Make sure we can use it. That way, we know where to go. " He looked next to Frank, "And you, Major need to realize that we are people. Not machines. There are things we can not do, at the rate you want us to. "

Max thought it over. The M DID stand for Mobile. And it's not like they were packing up THAT day. So. . How bad could it be?

As for the rest of the Flock... They. Mostly bonded with their mentors. Nudge was still having trouble with Hot Lips. . . But, it was starting to get better.

Gazzy and Father Mulchay bonded well. The Priest was kind to Gazzy, and liked having a student, to pass on his Chaplain knowledge. Gazzy was eager to learn and saw Mulchay as his friend.

Angel worked well with Radar. He was the only person who's mind, she couldn't read. She didn't know why, but she liked him. He was nice and, unlike everyone else, seemed to like the place. Radar thought Angel was nice to have around. Have a bit of help, instead of having to do it all himself.

The Jeep was loaded up. Ready for Max, Henry and Frank to scout the next site. Max was wielding her standard issue pistol. She was never comfortable with guns. Either pointed at her, or in her hand.

Hawkeye walked up to the Jeep, "Just watch out for Frank, or you're liable for a purple heart. "

Frank looked angry, "Captain. . Please step back. "

Hawkeye tempted him, "Or what? "

Frank simply replied, holding up his gun, "Or I shoot you. "

Max took Frank's gun out of his hand. She said, "Major. . . " She slapped Frank right across the face.

Frank yelled, "Hey! You can't just slap a superior officer like that! It's against regulations!"

Max stood up and told Frank, "It's also against regulations for me, a Captain, to be second in command over you, a Major. But here we are. "

Frank looked upset, "You're lucky you're a lady. "

Max grabbed him by the throat, "And you're lucky I won't -"

Henry said , "Now, Max. Let's not kill Frank just yet. Now, loaded up. The next site's not too far from here. "

Max sighed, and let go of Frank. She said, "Alright, Henry. "

Frank asked, "What do you mean 'just yet? !'"

They started the Jeep, and traveled to the next site. Seeing how well it could be used for a hospital.

Henry looked around. He said, "Alright. Let's inspect the place. Max, you head West, see if we can use that spot. Frank, you search East. "

Max left her gun in the Jeep. She told Frank, cautiously, "Be careful not to kill your self, Ferret Face."

Frank looked angry , "I happen to be a fine shot, thank you very much, Captain."

Max retorted, "You're also a donkey in a human suit, yet we keep you around."

Frank sighed, "Achduleiber." He walked away, fulfilling his orders

Max smiled and asked Henry, "You ever think Frank is just one war behind? "

Henry sighed, "I wouldn't be surprised. "

As they searched, Henry looked North. Standing in front of the Jeep, as he looked for the enemy. He whistled a song, as he was in a good mood.

However. . The enemy was all around. Two snipers aimed at Henry. Max, with her bird-like vision, saw the Snipers. She yelled, "Henry!"

Henry turned around, "Huh?" Max pushed him out of the way, and the bullet pierced her back. She fell, unconscious.

Frank ran, and hid behind the Jeep. Henry carried Max into the Jeep, and gently placed her in. He ordered , "Frank! Start the Jeep! "

Frank yelled, "Yes sir! " He got to the driver's seat, and started the Jeep.

They raced back to camp. They stopped and got out. Frank ran off to find Margaret.

Henry yelled, "Hawk!" Everyone raced to the Jeep, and saw Max in her injured state. Henry explained, "Max has been shot. Sniper fire to the back."

Hawkeye told Radar, "Don't tell the others."

Radar said, "Yes sir." He ran off to find the others.

Trapper saw the people rushing to OR. He saw Max on the surgical bed. He asked, horrified, "What happened? !"

Hawkeye told him, "Max has been shot. Snipers. You make sure the others don't get in here. "

Trapper told him, knowing that the LAST thing they needed was five panicked kids, "You got it. "

(In the Flock's quarters. )

Gazzy was reading the copy of the Bible, that Father Mulchay gave him. Angel was sorting through the mail from home, practicing for her duties as secondary clerk. Nudge was listening to her Frank Sinatra records. Iggy was sleeping. Fang.. Well. . He was just outside of the tents, standing guard.

Radar came in. He said, "My orders from Captain Pierce are to keep you here. "

Angel read Radar's mind. Radar thought _'Don't let them know that Captain Ride has been shot.'_ Angel spread these words to her Flock.

Fang got curious and angry. He pushed Radar away. Radar asked, "Sergeant Fang, Sir. What's wrong? "

Fang replied, angry, "How dare you?! You can't tell me, that Max has been shot?!" As Radar looked afraid, Fang asked, "Who shot her? "

Radar said, alarmed at what could happen, "Captain Ride was shot in the back by North Korean snipers, saving the life of Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake. Captain Peirce chose to operate on her."

Iggy joked, "Thank God it wasn't Frank. " He then put on his serious face.

Everyone rushed to the OR. Wanting to be there for Max. Their leader. Their friend. Their family.

(Meanwhile, OR )

Max was still unconscious. Hawkeye operated on her, and successfully saved her but. .. He whispered, in horror, "What the hell? " He found something that shouldn't be there.. A bone. . . That'd you'd only find in a bird. As well. . A few feathers, shedding from her back. He took an X-ray of the wing, and picked up a few feathers. He sealed up her wound.

(Henry's office )

Henry saw Hawkeye walking into the room. He asked, "What's up?"

Hawkeye said, "You may want to see this." He handed Henry the feathers.

Henry was confused, "What, a bird flew in here? "

Hawkeye said, aggravated, "They came from Max's back." He handed him the X-ray, "So did this."

Henry examined it. He knew it couldn't possibly be false. He said, "We'll keep this under wraps for now."

Radar walked in, "Sir, we need your signature on-" He saw the X-ray and the feathers.

Hawkeye was slightly irritated, "Next time, knock. "

Henry clamped Radar's lips shut, "We'll discuss it later. "

(Later, OR).

Trapper looked over Max, as she rested after her surgery. Klinger was outside, on guardsmen duty. Klinger was in his dress and all.

The Flock rushed up. Klinger yelled, "Halt!"

Angel walked up to him, "Please let us in?"

Klinger said , "Okay." He opened the door to the OR.

They rushed and ran over Trapper. He yelled, "Hey!" He turned to Klinger , "You were supposed to keep them out. "

Klinger said, "Sorry, Sir. They overpowered me. They asked politely. "

Max woke up. She saw her Flock standing before her. She said, "Hey. What's u."

Iggy walked up to the surgical bed, "You got shot. But, you're going to be okay. "

Max asked , "Who operated on me? "

Nudge hugged Max as she sat up. She said, "I'm glad you're okay." She said, "Hawkeye operated on you. "

Max smiled and said, "Good. He's the best surgeon we got here." She asked Fang, since he was Hawkeye's 'shadow', "What'd he say?"

Fang replied, "He says you'll be out of here, in three days."

Max chuckled, "So, given our accelerated healing, ten minutes?"

Angel chuckled, "Probably. But. . " Her face turned Grim, "Hawkeye knows. About your wings. Probably ours, too."

Max become shocked. She didn't know how this would effect them. Henry was a nice guy, but it could still be pretty bad, if he give the government the word about them. She looked to Fang, "Get the dog. We'll decide whether or not to leave. "

(Later, Henry's office )

Henry and Hawkeye were debating what to do about the discovery of Max's wings. Trapper, Margaret, Radar, and Father Mulchay came in.

Father Mulchay asked, concerned, "Sir. Gazzy didn't come into the Chapel for study. I haven't seen him all day. "

Margaret said , angered, "Corporal Nudge was supposed to be with me and the other Nurses, for training. She wasn't there. Last I saw her, was two hours ago."

Trapper simply said, "Iggy's annoying, but he's a good kid. Last time I caught sight of him, he came into the OR, to see Max."

Radar simply said, worried, "Sorry, Sir. I tried to keep them out. But they make a good point. I haven't seen Angel since breakfast. "

Henry decided, "We'll discuss it later. For now, we just need to make sure those kids are still here. "

They heard wings flapping.

Father Mulchay asked, "What is that? "

Hawkeye and Henry ran out of the office, the others quickly following. They saw the six children, getting ready to leave. They stopped them.

Henry, "We just want to talk!"

Max said, frustrated, "That's what they ALL say !"

Hawkeye yelled, "We mean it! We won't judge you. All we want is to talk."

Mulchay smiled, "Listen to them! I'd never want to hurt anyone! Please!"

The Flock decided to land. Max saw the curiosity.

As their massive bird wings were on display, Hawkeye said, "That explains the feathers. And the X-ray. And the mating habits. " He got closer and examined the wings, "This is medically impossible. "

Max said, "Evidently not. "

Margaret asked, both amazed and disgusted, "Can you actually.."

Max cut her off, "Fly? Yes . Our bones are thinner and lighter, like a normal bird's. We have extra muscles, air sacs. Everything we need stay in the air. We also have a faster, more efficient heart rate. But this means that we have to eat a LOT."

Trapper half-joked, "So THAT'S why you'vebeen stealing from the mess tent. I wondered why you kids would stomach that crap."

Father Mulchay stayed silent. Amazed at the sight. As if Angels just leapt out of the pages of the Bible. Yet , disgusted that anyone can do such things to children.

Radar asked, "Who did this to you? "

Max answered, as if she hated the answer, "The name Mengele , mean anything?"

Radar was appalled. He said, "Hitler's scientist. "

Margaret scoffed, "Why am I not surprised? "

Radar asked, "Do you have. .. Other abilities? Other than flight? "

Max answered, "I can fly at the speed of light. We're all a little bit faster and stronger than the normal person. Fang can turn invisible. Nudge can control magnetism. Gazzy can manipulate anyone's voice and Angel has telepathy."

Everyone was amazed once more. Till Trapper said, "WAIT! is that how she beat us all at poker?!"

Angel simply giggled. Max said to the young girl , "No more poker for you. "

Everyone got a chuckle out of that.

Max asked Henry, "So what now? "

Henry said, "I figured you kids had a rough time being drafted but. . Jesus Christ."

Father Mulchay turned to Henry, "Excuse me? "

Henry replied, "Sorry, Father. This is just.. A lot to take in. " He turned to the kids, "As long as you don't turn to the other side, I've got no problem. And if we give you to the government, who knows what could happen? "

Gazzy got excited, "We can stay?! I can finish my Chaplain training?!"

Mulchay walked up to the boy, and kneeled down. He said, smiling, "Yes. I will keep my promise and teach you everything I know." The two hugged.

Angel tugged on Radar's sleeve, "Can I still be your secondary clerk?"

Radar said, "Sure, I don't mind. In fact, I think it might be more beneficial than just me, doing this by myself." They also hugged.

Nudge looked to Houlihan. She said, nervous, "So.. You know. . "

Houlihan said, irritated, "Look. You can stay on two conditions. First, don't use my bed for your escapades, anymore. Second.. If there's ever a problem , tell me. No secrets between us. "

Nudge smiled, "Alright. I can do that. "

Iggy and Fang looked (listened in Iggy's case) to Hawkeye and Trapper.

Hawkeye said, "I got no problem with this. You? "

Trapper quickly responded, "Nah, I like these kids too much, to get rid of them. "

Max smiled at Henry, "Looks like we're staying."

Henry replied, "Okay. That's good. I could a more effective leader. You certainly are more effective. "

Frank came up, "Captain Ride! You need to answer for-" He couldn't say anything. Too mortified by the sight of the six 'angels.' He fainted.

Iggy declared, "I'm not carrying him back."


	5. Canine mischief

(The 4077, discovers that the dog can talk )

(Henry's office . 24 hours after Flock's secret was revealed).

Henry sat at his desk , doing his paperwork . Angel and her dog, Total, walked in . She said, struggling to carry even more paperwork, "Radar's busy. So. . I brought this for you."

Henry patted her head, "Thank you, Angel. That's very sweet of you. " He resumed his paperwork.

Angel walked into the Clerk's office. The dog stayed behind. Henry looked at the dog. The dog stared back at Henry. He petted the dog .

Henry simply said, "Hey, boy. What can I do for you? You want a steak? "

Total responded, "Sure. You got one on you? "

Henry chuckled, "Well, sorry, but-"

He looked to the dog, "Did I just hear you talk?

Total replied, in a happy tone ,"Yeah, what made you think I couldn't? "

Henry inspected the alcohol he'd taken out of his cabinet. He locked the cabinet, and called for Radar.

Radar,came in, "Yes sir?" Radar was always ready for orders.

Total looked at Henry ,"C'mon." He'd gotten bored with everyone ratting him out, when they found out he can talk. It was like he was supposed to be like some.. Normal dog.

Radar asked, "Who said that? " He looked around, hoping to find the source of the voice. Only to see the dog. He said, surprised, "Did that dog just t-talk?"

Angel heard the commotion, and walked into CO's office. She signaled the dog to be quiet. She said, "Uh.. You guys are. . drunk! You're both very drunk."

Henry held up his liquor bottle, "There's a small problem with that theory. Radar doesn't drink. . . And I just opened this."

Angel struggled to think of an excuse for this one.

The dog said, impatient, "So.. That steak..."

Henry said, in a state of utter confusion, "Radar..."

Radar said, "Check and see if we have steak, yes sir. "

(Later, OR).

Hawkeye and Trapper were in the OR. They finished up the last wounded. The Flock were there with them, learning about the essentials of a MASH unit. The tools they used for surgery were done for. Used too many times.

A new shipment of required surgical tools came in (they just didn't have wounded to use them on).

The dog walked into the room. He saw the tools... And mistook them for bones. He knocked the cart down, took as many of the tools as he could in his mouth. . . And ran off.

Hawkeye said, sarcasm obvious in his voice, "We have a defector in our midst. " He ran out of the tent, to look for the dog.

Angel yelled, "Total! Come back!" She chased the dog ,as far as her legs could carry her (and she couldn't use her wings, as she'd risk the enemy seeing her ). She quickly became tired, and couldn't run any further.

Total whispered to himself, "Now... Where do I bury these? " He found a spot, behind Rosie's bar. Radar walked out of the bar, carrying a bottle of grape Nehi, and watched him dig. He didn't see what the dog was burying, he just watched him.

(Later, Henry's office ).

Max and Angel were in the CO's office. Max was rubbing her head. She asked her youngest Flock mate, annoyed, "You HAD to bring the dog to Korea with us?"

Angel looked at Max, almost as upset as she was, "Your siblings are in Toledo, your mom's in Kentucky, and your dad is in London. WHO WERE WE SUPPOSED TO GET TO WATCH HIM?!"

Max replied, "Good point. " She looked at Henry, not knowing what he wanted her to do.

As Radar walked in, Henry muttered, "A whole shipment of supplies, stolen by a PFC... Of our own Army. . . Who is a Black Scottie."

Radar said, surprised, "Is THAT what he burying behind Rosie's bar? "

They all heard this. . . . And Hawkeye, Trapper, and Angel were sent to get the tools. They handed Angel a shovel.

Angel asked, "Why do I have to dig up the tools? "

Hawkeye simply responded, "Your dog. Your mess. You clean it up."

Angel grumbled, and headed over to the spot, where the tools were buried. Hawkeye saw the dog, walk into the bar. He and Trapper ran up to the dog, and put a leash around his collar.

Trapper commented, "You really AREN'T a good dog, are you?"

The dog muttered, though no one could hear, "Why do I have to go on a leash? "

They walked up to the bar. Hawkeye and Trapper ordered their bourbons. Total ordered "One large bowl of kibble!"

Hawkeye asked, shocked out of his mind, "Did you hear that? "

Trapper looked to his friend, "Yeah. I wish I didn't." They looked down at the dog.

Total simply asked, "So. . Which of you is going to pay for my kibble?"

The two surgeons shared a look of confusion. A talking dog. Something they'd never heard of before. Trapper thought it was crazy. Hawkeye had something else in mind.

Angel walked in, holding the tools, "Not again!" She ran up to the Captains, hoping her pet didn't say too much.

Trapper asked her, "So.. Your dog talks."

Angel shyly said, "Yeah." She hoped to hide her dog's ability. But, since he can't control it. . It seemed hopeless.

Hawkeye kneeled down, and faced the girl. He asked her, "Why didn't you say anything about it before? "

Angel shrugged, "You never asked. "

The two surgeons looked at each other and said, "Really? "

They all walked back to camp. Hawkeye said, "Trap, I think we've stumbled upon comedy gold. '

Trapper said, "I think we're headed for a Section 8."

Hawkeye said, smiling, "Maybe. . . . But, let's try something. They stopped by the Swamp, and saw that Frank left his hat there.

Trapper saw an opportunity. He picked up Frank's hat and said, "Here, Doggy. "

(Later ).

Frank came back to the Swamp. . . To find his hat. . Coated in dog urine. He saw Angel's dog (who's name he never remembered ) laying on the floor.

Frank grabbed his hat and yelled, "Bad dog!"

The dog replied, making sure Frank heard him, "I could say the same thing about you, Ferret Face. "

Frank became very confused.

The dog simply said, "What are a bad surgeon AND A slow listener? "

Frank ran screaming out of the tent. Looking for Margaret.

Total simply said to himself, "Well. . Might as well get some shut eye." He yawned, "First food sleep since drafting. " He fell asleep.

(Later )

By the time Total awoke, it'd been night. He needed to find the kids. He saw that the door was open. He ran out of the tent, to look for them. He figured, if anyone knew where they were. . It'd be Margaret.

He pawed at the door to Margaret's tent. Margaret came out, "Hey there, boy." It insulted Total, whenever people talked to him like he was a puppy. Margaret asked, "Can I help you? "

Total asked, "Where are my friends? "

Margaret began to scream hysterically. Total said, "I'm not leaving until I get an answer. "

Margaret tried to compose herself, "I don't know about the others. . But your Captain is in the Colonel's office. "

Total simply said, "Thank you. " He left, and headed over to the CO'S office.

He saw his master, Angel, and Gazzy standing outside the office. He ran up to them. He played with them a bit. Then , Klinger came up, in a dress and all. . Carrying a bowl of kibble.

He said, "I've been ordered to feed the animals in the camp. Including your dog. "

Total simply asked, "What's this, the kids' portion? "

Klinger got confused, "Who said that? "

Total got frustrated, "Down here, you big nosed moron!"

Klinger looked down at the dog. he picked him up, and rushed into Henry's office. He said, "Sir! I know you MUST discharge me now! This dog spoke to me!"

Henry said, annoyed, "Old news, Klinger. Most of us know the dog can talk. "

Total said, "It's true. Most of them do. "

Klinger said, holding the dog up to his face, "What good is a talking dog, if it doesn't help you? !"

Frank came in, "Colonel. Can you arrange some RnR for me and Margaret? "

Henry said, "No. I need everyone I've got."

The dog said, "Oh. You're lazy too , apparently "

Frank asked, "Colonel! Can't you do something about him?!"

Total jumped onto the floor, and bit Frank's leg. He soon left, and headed over to Father Mulchay's tent.

Father Mulchay walked out. He said, "Hello. What can I do for you? "

Total spoke, "I need some place to stay, until Frank cools down. "

Father Mulchay simply said, "A dog that can speak. Odd. But, I guess you can stay here, until things get better. "

(Next day )

Max said to the dog, "So.. What I'm hearing from you. . Almost everyone knows that you can talk. "

Total simply said, "Yeah. "

Max sighed, "Great. That's one less thing to worry about " She handed him a treat, "Nice job with biting Frank, though. Put him in his place . "


	6. The Army-Navy Game

(Alright. Let's get to it. )

(MASH 4077, mid-1950).

Angel and Radar were walking around the camp. Collecting bets for the raffle. Angel was dressed in a black kimona, perfectly tailored to her small size, and, to her, felt more comfortable than her typical Army uniform. Radar was jealous. All he had was the uniform. They stopped by Father Mulchay's tent. Next to the Priest was Gazzy, who eas quietly reading the Bible Radar asked, "You want to get in on the raffle Father? " He didn't ask Gazzy, as he was a young boy, and had no interest in gambling.

Father Mulchay replied, "Radar. . . . All the wealth I need.." He pointed to his copy of the Bible, "Is right here."

Gazzy looked at his younger sister, wearing her adorable kimona. He said, "Wow! Sis, you look really cute." As she blushed, he asked, "Not to be selfish but.. You know where I can get one? "

Father Mulchay put his hand on the boy's shoulder, "Remember. A Chaplain must never give in to greed." He whispered, "But I know where you can find one. " He turned to Radar, "But. . I suppose I should get in on it." He put a name in the bin.

(Meanwhile, Henry's office. )

Max sat in a chair, watching as Henry turned dials on the radio. She asked, "Something big going on? " She knew that Henry would only be so focused on the radio, if something important was going on Stateside.

Henry said, "Yeah. The Army-Navy game only happens once every year. This year, I've finally got the radio distance to do it. " He kept turning the dials. Excited to see how the game would turn out .

True, Max wasn't exactly a fan of football. To her, it seemedlike a too bizarre game. But, for her Flock, and the 4077, she'd be fine with it.

Trapper, Iggy, Fang, Hawkeye and a few Nurses came in. All with the exception of Fang, carrying pom-poms.

As Hawkeye shook the pom-poms, he said to Fang, "Come on, Sarge, join in. "

Fang replied, "Yeah , no. That's above my pay grade. "

Iggy walked up to Fang, "Five bucks says the Army wins."

Fang simply replied, "Sure." Then, proceeded to stay silent.

Max smiled. Knowing that her boyfriend still kept his strong and silent fashion. She looked at Henry, "You sure you don't want Radar to handle the radio?"

Henry told her, "I almost got it." He thought he had the right channel. . . . Only to find that it was a Chinese propaganda channel.

Hawkeye looked at Trapper, "Not very good with his hands ,is he? "

Trapper joked, "I think it's cause he's a surgeon."

Henry soon found the right channel, "Very funny." As the game came on the radio, a loud noise could be heard.

An explosion went off. Iggy joked , listening to the game, "Man. That guy can kick."

The bombs continued to drop. Max, "What's going on, out there?!"

Angel looked out the window, "We're being shelled! By the enemy, AND our own people! "

Max said, concerned for the others, "Hawkeye! Move all the wounded into the tents!"

Hawkeye asked, afraid , "Why don't you go instead?! Bird DNA makes you a bit more durable!"

Fang scoffed, "I'll go with you! C'mon!"

Max yelled, "Hawkeye! When you get back in here.. I'M KICKING YOUR ASS!"

Hawkeye replied, "Take a number!" He left.

The shelling went on and on. Till it stopped. An unexploded shell, was in the heart of the camp.

Max saw it, as the others rushed over. She said, "Who knows anything about bombs? " Iggy and Gazzy raised their hands, "OTHER than you two. "

Iggy yelled, "Come on! The two of us could defuse that thing perfectly!"

Max was nearly screaming, "Yeah . But I'm not sure if you made that bomb or not! If I find that you did make it.. I'll kick your asses so far, you'll be able to say hi to Dad, in London." She looked very angry.

Iggy said, almost terrified, "Yes, Ma'am." He turned to Trapper, "Think you'll come with me? "

Trapper became shocked, "Why me?!"

Max sighed, "Emotional support. Besides if we asked Frank, he'd faint."

Trapper saw the point. They all walked forward. Luckily , neither Iggy nor Gazzy recognized the bomb. Which saved them from getting an ass kicking from Max. But. .

Iggy placed a stethoscope on the bomb. It was still ticking.

Henry called Division Headquarters. He told them, "General. We have an unexploded shell, in the heart of the camp. We have wounded. We're under fire, both from the enemy, AND our own. And the only way out, is through our own minefield. "

The General replied, "Do you have any bomb defusing tools? "

Angel grabbed the phone, and yelled in a French accent, "WE'RE A MEDICAL UNIT!"

Henry told the General, taking the phone back , "Sorry, Sir. The French sent us a temporary inspector." He had to cover up the kifd' presence somehow.

The General replied, "Well, you should tell her, not to mouth off to a General. The bad news.. Your bomb isn't Polish, Czech, Chinese, Russian, British, French. . It doesn't even belong to the U.S. Army. Have you tried the Navy? We're beating them 14 to nothing in the game. "

Henry said, "Radar!"

Radar replied, "Already sent the call, Sir! We should have Naval operations in Seoul, shortly. "

The phone rang. Henry picked it up, "Hello? MASH 4077 Henry Blake."

The Navy Commander said, not hearing him over the game, "What can I do for you, Drake?"

Henry said, "We have an unexploded shell in the heart of the camp. Do you have any armorments with this ID code? " He told him the code.

The Navy Commander said, "I'll get back to you. " He hung up.

Henry said, "Just hope I'm here when you do. "

In the Flock's quarters, Nudge simply sighed, "Well, we're doomed. "

Iggy said, "Maybe. Hopefully not. " He held on to her , "If anything happens . . . " He kissed her. She returned it.

Meanwhile , everyone else was moving the wounded into the tents.

Radar said to a pretty nurse, "I have a confession to make. "

Father Mulchay walked out of the tent , "Gazzy and I will be with you in a moment, Radar. "

Radar said, "Uh. . Thankyou, Father. "

In Henry's office, he paced. He yelled at the phone, "RING!" It soon did, "Hello? "

The Navy Commander said, "Drake. I've found out who your bomb belongs to."

Henry said , "That's great." He got a pen and paper.. But couldn't believe what the Commander said, "It's WHO'S?!"

(Later )

Max, Angel, Iggy, Fang, Hawkeye and Trapper stood in the office. They all yelled, in unison, "THE CIA'S?!"

Henry said, "Yep."

Gazzy, who'd been eavesdropping, walked in. Iggy gently took hold of the boy's cross, "I asked for it, not to do with Flagg. Did my prayers fall on deaf ears? "

The young boy replied, "God has many ways of testing us. "

Max said, frustrated , "So. . Flagg, or one of his people, dropped that bomb on us?"

Fang, Hawkeye, Trapper and Iggy were walking together. Walking around,over to the bomb.

They almost defused it. . But made one wrong step. They ran out of there . The bomb exploded, getting some shrapnel to leave a small cut on Iggy's face. Papers flew everywhere.

Hawkeye declared, "It's a propaganda bomb!"

Iggy yelled , putting a hand to his face, "Some propaganda!"

Fang told him, "Relax. I'm sure it's nothing we can't fix. Right Trap?'

Trapper walked up, "Yeah. Just follow me." They walked into one of the tents.

Angel grabbed one of the papers from the bomb. She read it, "Give yourselves up. You can't win. General Douglas MacArthur. "

Max commented, "Doesn't sound intimidating, in English. Maybe Korean or Chinese. "

(Later )

The PA announced, "The results of the Army-Navy game! Navy , 42 points! Army, 46. Raffle winners! Captain Max Ride, and.. Big shock. . Father Francis Mulchay. "

Hawkeye asked the Father , "How do you always know?" The Priest merely looked to the sky. Hawkeye whispered, "Name dropper. "

Max sat in her quarters. Resting. She needed it.


	7. Sparky

(Shortest chapter in the story ).

Max woke up. She walked out of the tent. She lookedto Henry's office. She saw everyone else, tending to their jobs. She walked into the Clerk's office. She saw Angel sorting through the mail. She smiled, and patted the girl on the head. She heard Radar talking to someone, over the phone.

Radar said, "Sparky , I'm not asking for much! I just need some more supplies. That's all!" He'd been talking with Sparky for a while.

Max remembered Sparky. She'd never personally met him, but she heard Radar talk about him a lot. Whenever they called headquarters, Sparky was the guy to answer the phone. He must've been important.

Radar said, putting the phone to his shoulder, "Sgt. Pryor, nickname Sparky. Company Clerk of US headquarters in Asia. Also, he's a personal friend. But, he's not budging. We need more supplies. "

Max said, "Let me talk to him." Radar gave her the phone. She said, "Sgt. Pryor. Captain Ride, here. "

Sparky replied, _"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit! It's nice to talk to you, Captain. But, I can only tell you, what I told Radar . The supplies we've got are limited. Sorry. "_

Max said, trying to be friendly, "Look.. I know in war, you can't just get things done, by asking for them. But, Sparky. . What we need, is supplies. "

Sparky said to her, _"Captain. . . You and I are both friends with Radar. But.. I'm afraid, just asking is going to get you nowhere. "_

Max said, in a typical officer's tone, "Well. . Why not make it an order? Just to make sure we get what we need." She sat down, "Or, would you like me to come down to Headquarters and tell you this in person? "

Sparky finished, " _I like your spunk, Captain. I'll send you everything you need. Maybe next time.. I'll get to talk to you again. "_

Max said, smiling, "Alright. Thanks. "

Radar said, as the phone was put down, "You know, Captain. . . You can get kind of scary, when you talk like an officer, Captain. "

Max said, "Maybe I should act like that more often." She chuckled, "I kid, of course."

The rest of that day. No wounded. In fact. Henry ordered a celebration of the lack of wounded.

The dog was kept outside.

(Just a quick chapter. )


	8. As you were

(MASH 4077. Officer's club ).

It had been a whole week, since they had any wounded. Everyone was desperate to entertain themselves.

Hawkeye and Trapper were at the pinball machine. Radar was playing the piano.

Fang, "Radar.. Do you even know the song you're playing? You've been at it, for 3 days! "

Iggy sighed, "Yes. It's annoying. . But, we haven't had any wounded in a week. Man has to entertain himself somehow."

Fang replied, angry, "But does he have to keep playing the same song?" He didn't like having to listen to the same thing, over and over again, unless he had to.

When a MASH unit doesn't have wounded.. Things get boring.

While this was going on, Henry was outside. He was using medical trays to get a tan, all while sleeping. He was annoyed by a dog, barking in the distance.

Henry yelled, annoyed, "Private! Can you please stop that barking!"

Total ran up, out of breath. He said, "Than may I please have some water, Sir?" He'd been out there, preforming guard duty, for four hours.

Before Henry could order Radar to get water, Radar was already there with a metal bowl full of water. Total drank it, vigorously.

Henry noticed a small piece of paper near Total's paws.

He picked it up, "Orders from HQ. "

Radar said, "Angel meant to give that to you. But, she's gotten real sick lately. "

Henry decided to look at the paper, in his office. He said, "Radar, make some soup and give it to Angel. Total, find Klinger, and tell him he's in trouble. "

Radar saluted, and went to make soup.

Total groaned at that particular order, but complied.

(Mess tent).

Frank was putting rope, all around the place, connecting the condiments.

Max walked in . She sighed, "Major." She was slightly annoyed by Frank's antics.

Frank saluted, "Captain Max." He saw herexpression of confusion, "If you look here, you'll see all the sauces are aligned by size and popularity. Ketchup, mustard, radish, mayonnaise, etc. "

Max said, "Frank.. Did you get hit in the head, sometime this morning?" She'd never heard of anything so weird (and, in her opinion, dumb) before.

Frank said, "No, Ma'am. I just figured I'd make use of the spare time. "

Max looked at the clock, and made a signal at Hawkeye and Trapper. They responded, with the same signal. She said, "Alright. I'm going to go check on Angel. You, Major.. Don't hurt your patheticallysmall brain. " She patted him on the back and left.

Frank said, "Yes, Ma'am. " He quickly realized the insult, "Hey, wait a minute!"

(Meanwhile, Father Mulchay's tent ).

Klinger knocked on the door, "Father, you in there? ! "

Father Mulchay replied , "And open for business!" Klinger walked in.. Seeing Gazzy wash the Father's feet. Father Mulchay explained, "On Holy Thursday, it was once tradition for the Pope to wash the feet of a poor man. Since there's little chance of His Holiness showing up here.. I figured I'd have Gazzy wash mine. "

Klinger, "Alright, Father. Well, here's my next letter to the General!" He read it aloud, "Dear General Mitchell. Maxwell Q Klinger, from MASH 4077, again. This time, I demand my Section 8 Discharge." He handed the Father a picture.

Father Mulchay said, disgusted , "Oh, dear. " He showed Gazzy the picture.

Gazzy said, annoyed by Klinger's habits, "Klinger.. If you just put as much effort into your work, as you do your discharge schemes.. The war would be over." The boy was annoyed from Klinger's constant Section 8 Discharge attempts. Everyone else worked their backsides off, to try and get discharged. Klinger, who was simply lazy, was trying to make everyone think he was crazy.

Klinger replied, "I'll take that as a complement." He continued reading his letter, "If you don't give me my discharge, I'll ship the pictures to your wife and tell her you've been seeing me in secret."

Father Mulchay said, "Klinger.. The Lord works in mysterious ways. But, you take the cake. "

Gazzy said, "Just like all the women in _Paris. "_

They all shared a laugh, before Gazzy went back to his training.

(Later, Flock's quarters. )

Henry found, that Angel had tonsillitis. He needed to think of a way to tell Max.. Without Max killing him. Max wasn't called 'Mama Bear' for no reason. She loved her Flock, like they were her own children. And, if you hurt them in any way... God help you.

Max walked in. She said, "I'd be more worried about hiding the truth from me. " She walked over to the bed ridden Angel, "So.. What's the problem, with my baby? " She held Angel in her arms.

Henry said, "Tonsillitis. Nothing fatal . But, it could be a problem."

Max asked Angel, "How long have you had this? "

Angel replied, her voice raspy from her sickness, "Since I came back from Seoul, with Iggy. "

Max yelled, "That was five days ago!" She looked worried.

Henry said, "I can treat it. But, I know your kids' history with doctors. So.. It's up to you. "

Max thought it over. She said, afraid, "I'll operate but.. I.." She was more worried here, than she'd ever been before. Fighting enemies.. Easy. Operating on wounded soldiers, with aid from her mentor.. Scary, but manageable. But.. Having to preform surgery. . On one of her own Flock.. particularly, Angel, the youngest.. Absolutely terrifying.

Henry said, seeing her fear, "I'll assign Hawkeye to help you. "

This put Max at ease. She knew that, off duty, Hawkeye was.. off. But, he was the best surgeon they had. So, with his help, Angel would be fine.

Max sat on her bed, as Henry left. She thought about the surgery. It wouldn't be her first.. But, her first surgery wasn't that long ago.

Fang made himself visible, "Don't worry. I've seen you in OR before. You're fine. Plus, you'll have old man Hawkeye helping you out. "

Max was happy to have her boyfriend's support. She smiled , and decided to play a joke. She said, sarcastically, "I'm sure he'll be touched when I tell him, you called him old." She loved whatever chance she could take, to mess with her boyfriend.

Fang, not willing to hear Hawkeye's complaints, said, "Remember.. You and I share a bed."

Max replied, "Oh! You're no fun sometimes."

Fang gave her one of his signature, yet rare, half smiles.

(Later).

They brought Angel in, and she was afraid. She'd never been operated on.

Max said, calmingly, "Sweetie.. We're gonna put you under now, okay?" She wanted to make sure she was calm. She couldn't operate on her, if she wasn't calm. Nervous patient, nervous surgeon. Nervous surgeon.. Big risk.

Angel put on a brave face for Max. She kept that face, till she was put under.

As they were about to operate, Hawkeye and Trapper brought Frank in for his Hernia surgery. Then, the PA announcer came on.

He yelled, "ATTENTION! ALL PERSONNEL! INCOMING WOUNDED!"

Max cursed under her breath. She said, "It never ends. Does it, Hawk?"

Hawkeye replied, "Max.. If I had a nickel for every time something like this happened.. I would buy everyone a first class ticket out of here. "

They scrambled to help the wounded . Max keeping a close eye on Angel as she worked.

As they operated, Frank doubled over in pain.

Iggy said, "Frank. I'll operate on you." He held up an instrument, "Am I supposed to use this , for a Hernia surgery? "

Trapper replied, "Red.. That's a rectal thermometer." He said, "But, since it's Frank.. Go right ahead. "

Hawkeye rolled his eyes, "We don't have any tables to operate on." Hawkeye took him to the Male Ward.

Meanwhile, Radar was trying to contact HQ. He asked, "Hello? 483rd Artillery? This is Corporal O'Riley, 4077 MASH. We're getting shelled, and I was told to find out who's doing it." He had a shocked look on his face, "YOU'RE doing it? ! Well, look here, Pal! We're a hospital! How would you like it, if we started throwing patients at you?!"

Max heard the whole thing. She walked out of the OR. She asked, "What the hell is going on in here?!" She'd been rather annoyed with the shelling.

Radar said, "Oh! Captain Max, Ma'am. I'm sorry. They're not budging."

Max took the phone from her Company Clerk. She said, heavily annoyed, "Yeah. Captain Max Ride, here. Got some words for you." She muttered, what Radar couldn't hear. The shelling soon stopped.

Radar asked her, "What did you say to them?"

Max, not wanting to repeat what she said (and not wanting to possibly scar Radar) , said, "Uh.. I'll tell you.. When you're older."

Radar said, "Alright." He soon realized "HEY! I've got at least four years on you!"

Max ran back into the OR.

(Meanwhile).

Hawkeye brought Frank out of the Male Ward. He said, "He'll be back to walking over people, in a few days."

Henry asked, "You alright, Frank?"

Burns replied, loopy from the gas used to sedate him, "Just fine, Dad. But they caught us, sneaking into the girls' locker room."

Henry rolled his eyes, knowing Frank must have been remembering something. What, he didn't want to know.

Max took a deep breath and looked toward Hawkeye, who nodded. They could properly begin Angel's tonsillitis surgery.

(Later).

Angel woke up. She looked around. She thought, 'I'm.. in the OR? How'd I get here?'

Hawkeye came up, "I wouldn't speak for about 2 days. But, given your accelerated healing, I'd say around 10 tonight. Max and I operated on you. You're going to be fine, long as you don't talk for that long."

Angel communicated with them, telepathically. She thought, "Thank you, both. '

Max walked over, and gave Angel a kiss on the forehead, "You're welcome, Sweetie." She was happy to have her youngest, be okay .

(Next day).

Everyone was present in the mess tent, minus Iggy and Nudge.

Trapper decided to retrieve his student. He saw them, in their quarters.. 'in the middle of something.'

He dropped off their mail and said, as they looked at him in shock, "As you were. "

(Next time).


	9. Crisis

(Off we go )

(MASH 4077).

Max and the Flock walked by a speaker. The PA announcer came on, "Attention! Senior surgical staff, Father Mulchay and Flock report to Colonel Blake's office !"

Max sighed, "This had better be good!" She and the rest of the Flock, walked into Henry's office.

Henry said, "This is probably the most serious meeting I've ever had to call. "

Burns and Houlihan walked in. Margaret said, "Colonel. Major Burns, hopes this meeting is important. He has many things to do." No matter what happened, Margaret stood up for Frank. This would stop eventually, but it would take quite a long time.

Iggy asked, in a joking mood, "Something wrong with your voice today, Frank? It's Awfully high. " He loved poking fun of Burns and Houlihan's affair . He never liked adultery.. But he liked Frank Burns, even less.

Frank replied, angry, "I am in perfect voice today, Sergeant!"

Iggy replied, "You know Frank, I don't think a man should EVER hit a woman . But, if you keep up with stuff like that, I'll have to punch Major Houlihan in the mouth. "

Max yelled at him, "Be nice!" She turned to Houlihan, "Be sure to wind Frank up, for the question part of the meeting. "

Trapper came in , "Hawkeye will be here shortly. He's giving a nurse mouth-to-mouth rececitation."

Hawkeye soon came in. Acting like his usual self.

Henry said , fear evident in his voice, "Alright. This is a very serious issue. Our supply lines been cut."

Burns, confused as always, asked, "Who did that? "

Iggy said, in his typical sarcastic fashion, "MacArthur decided to stop supplying medical units, and keep the Army entirely fighting."

Henry said, "Russian troops snuck down to HQ, and cut off the supply lines Radar, list the items we won't be getting, for a while."

Radar read the list, "Assorted foods. Fruits . Vegetables. Wood. Gasoline. Toilet paper."

Trapper remarked, "Ouch."

Radar continued, "Tent poles. Scalpels. Whole blood. No mail call. No phone calls. No winter clothes. No ketchup. Sporting goods, shuttle cocks.'

Hawkeye stood up, "How do they expect us to fight a war, without shuttle cocks?"

Margaret scoffed , "It's galling to hear officers ridicule command!"

Max said, frustrated with their head nurse, "Well, maybe if command would get it's head out of its ass, every know and again!"

Before a standoff could happen, Henry stood up, "Okay! Let's put a lid on the bickering.!"

Max sighed, "Time for red alert."

Henry asked, "Well, first of all. . I don't know what that means. "

Margaret stood up, "Emergency situation . Distribution of power."

Hawkeye snidely commented, "Careful Henry. This is how they got the Tsar. "

Henry sighed , and looked at the clipboard, "In this situation. . These people, will be in charge of these things." He read the roster, "Major Frank Burns."

Burns stood up, "Here, Sir!"

Hawkeye snidely commented, "Could've fooled me."

Henry continued, "Food preservation and distribution." He continued, "McIntyre, heating officer. Pierce, General maintenance and services. Major Houlihan will look after the Nurses."

Hawkeye said, a wide smile on his face, "Margaret.. I'll trade you my maintenance, for your Nurses."

Margaret said, "Down Peirce." She hoped he was joking . But, with Hawkeye Pierce, you never know.

Henry declared, "Before this is over, we may have to double up, to preserve heat. Radar will be housing officer. He decides who'll sleep with whom."

Trapper said, "Radar.. I'd like to speak with you, immediately after the meeting."

Father Mulchay asked, "What's my assignment, Sir? "

Henry said, "Oh. Father Mulchay. You'll be in charge of morale. "

Max sighed, "Knowing Radar.. It won't end well for us."

The winter of Korea.. As Korea is close to Russia, the winter is almost as cold and bitter, as the Soviets are used to.

The winter got colder. As Henry predicted.. The unit had to double up. Heat was scarce , so they all crammed into one tent.

Radar decided, "Men sleep with men, women sleep with women."

Margaret, Nudge, Max, Angel, and all the Nurses, crowed into one tent. Max sighed, "Of course, Radar has us sleep together, by Gender. Can't get a second, to myself with Fang."

Nudge sighed as well, "Or with Iggy." She whispered to Max, "Iggy and I haven't.. You know.. Since this whole thing started. Now, thanks to Radar, I can't."

Angel shrugged, "Well, I don't see a problem. The boys need some time away from us, and us from them, every now and again."

Max and Nudge were undergoing simple sexual frustration. They hadn't been with their boyfriends, in a whole five days. Angel wasn't old enough to undergo that kind of frustration (and, she and her brother, Gazzy, don't really get a lot of time by themselves. So.. She was good with this).

Meanwhile..

Iggy sat on his bed. Him, Fang,Gazzy, Hawkeye, Trapper, Father Mulchay, Radar, Henry and Frank, had to share a tent, due to the cold.

Trapper asked him, "Kid. You alright?" Trapper was very attached to his 'student.' Like the son he didn't have. He knew when the blind boy, had some kind of issue.

Iggy replied, "I'm cold.. There's no food or heat, till you cross the Russian border. . I'm stuck in a tent with Ferret Face. . And I haven't had time alone with my lady friend, in five days.. How would you say I feel, Trap?" He didn't like the situation. Unable to go somewhere private.. And having to share a tent, with nine other men (one of whom, he couldn't help but hate). He wasn't happy.

Fang said, "Iggy.. I am in the same situation.. But, we gotta pull through. Or,we can complain tillour throats hurt."

Iggy commented, "Much as I 'love' the Army... I think I'll take the latter." He stood up, "Klinger's coming. "

Hawkeye asked, confused, "How do you know? " By now, half the camp knew Iggy was blind. So.. Klinger isn't easy to miss. But, how would a blind man, know Klinger was coming?

Iggy said, "I can hear the hair on his arms rustling. "

Klinger came in, along with Total, who'd also had to share quarters with them.

Next was Frank. Frank asked, angry, "What's Klinger doing here? !"

Hawkeye responded, "Sharing our tent."

Burns replied, "It's bad enough, Colonel Blake assigned that dog to be in the Swamp, with me. But, you'll never catch me sleeping with an enlisted man."

Iggy said, "I can hear the bullets in your gun rattling, Burns. Put the gun away. That's an order."

Burns retaliated, "A Sergeant can't give a Major orders!"

Fang, with his hand on Iggy's shoulder, said, "Then, consider it a threat." He knew Frank wouldn't stand up to that.

Frank said, "That's different." He threw the gun down.. Next to Total. Who soon bit Frank's knee.

Hawkeye said, smiling at the sight, "Good dog."

Gazzy and Father Mulchay walked in to the tent. Gazzy took the bed right next to Iggy's. In case he needed help during the night .

Father Mulchay said, "Good evening." He laid down , in the center of the room.

Soon, Henry and Radar came in. As everyone prepared to sleep, the PA announcer came on, "Attention! All personnel! INCOMING WOUNDED!"

Frank shot up, "They said there weren't going to be any casualties! "

Fang got up, "Things change, Ferret Face." He ran out to OR.

(Later, Henry's office. )

Henry was on the phone, talking to Headquarters. He said, sitting at the pitiful remains of his desk, "We're running out of just about, anything you care to name. So.. Why don't you guys get on the stick, down there?"

Other personnel had chopped off the legs of Henry's desk, and burned them to keep warm. And.. With seven surgeons, twenty Nurses and around 70 Enlisted Men.. There's no way of knowing, who kept chopping up his desk.

(OR)

Hawkeye yelled, "For guys who aren't supposed to be wounded, they're doing a pretty good imitation!"

The PA came on, "ATTENTION! ELECTRICAL POWER WILL BE CUT BY TEN PERCENT!"

Trapper said, "Can you believe that? All they can send us is casualties. Everything else, they run out of. " He was irritated by the shortage of everything. Just like everyone else.

Iggy said, standing next to Nudge, "Well, the best we can do, is operate." He turned to the Father, "I'll leave the praying to you, Padre." He'd been praying for the winter to end, for five days. So he could spend some time with his girlfriend. He couldn't pray for a while. So, he'd leave the praying to Father Mulchay.

On another operating table, Max finished up a patient. After she did, Fang ran up behind her, and sgently placed his hand, on her backside.

Max said, frustrated, "I love you, but we can't do that right now." As he tried to convince her, she said, "NOT.. Now!" She said the truth. She loved him.. But they had patients to save first.

(After the patients were healed).

Everyone continued having the same problems. Hawkeye and Trapper were ready to tear Burns apart for having electric hunting socks, and not sharing them.

Angel read their minds, and flew out from her tent, to keep peace. She said, "Enough!" She walked over to Burns.. And unplugged his electric socks. She said, "I'm calling HQ."

(Later, with even more wounded.)

The frustration continued. Max declared, "When we get done here.. I'm going to kill the supply officer at I-Corps. He let the Russians sneak past him, and cut off our supplies."

Burns yelled, "Captain, all due respect, the Army comes through, when we need it to!"

Max yelled at him, "Oh yeah?! Where was the Army, to stop Flagg from shipping us here?! Where was the Army, when Hitler took over France?! Where has it been, this whole time, when we need heat and food?! Take your overly GI, bad medic crap, and tell it to Truman!"

Burns attempted to say something.. But he knew how Max was. Her nickname around base was "Mama Bear,' for a reason.

Radar and Angel ran in, "Regimental called! They sent us a LOT of stuff! Oil, hot dogs, steak, warm clothes, firewood, everything we need!"

They finished up the operation.. On her way to the truck full of food and supplies, Max stopped at Henry's office. She yelled, "Henry, what the hell happen to your desk?!"

He no longer HAD a desk. Or a liquor cabinet. His office, was now an empty room.


	10. Trail of Henry Blake

A jeep pulls up, by the Flock's quarters. Nudge snuggled closer to Iggy, laying her head on his chest.

Max and Angel walked in, in class A uniforms. Fang, who'd had 'fun' with Max the previous night, woke.

He asked, "Class A? What, is MacArthur coming to send us home?"

Gazzy chuckled, "Maybe they're arresting Frank, for impersonating am officer!"

Max replied, "I wish." She adjusted her uniform, and motioned the others.

Iggy sighs heavily and all but forces himself out of the bed. "Fine, lets just get this over with." He put on his own Class A uniform. He hated it, because it was so stuffy. Particularly, because there were no holes in the back, for his wings to get out.

Radar, telling him and Colonel Blake to come to come to Headquarters, ASAP! We're going with them, Henry's orders."

Max, "Some General made the call. Something about a trial, and complaints from Burns

"Man, even when he is not trying to, he just finds new and creative ways to get me to hate him more." Iggy said, trying to keep from thinking of bad words since Angel was in close distance of him.

Everyone agrees.

Fang, "So, now we defend Henry? Alright."

Total runs up, and tries to get in the Jeep.

Max picks him up, "No! You're staying here! The last thing we need, is for a General to ask about our talking dog

"He's already gonna question why there we are in this unit." Angel pointed out.

Max replied, incredibly irritated, "True.. But, I don't think a talking dog, would make anything better."

Total, "Well, what am I supposed to do, while you're at HQ?!"

Max got in the jeep, "I don't know.. Play with Klinger or something."

Total growled, and walked away, as Henry came out.

"Don't worry, I left you some food and water and some other things to keep you entertained." Angel said reassuringly to Total with a cute smile to finish the sell.

Total, "Okay. But I still don't like Klinger!

Henry yells to the dog, "You don't have to like him, just don't hurt him while we're gone!" He and Radar get in the Jeep.

They drive.. Until Radar has to use the latrine.

Max yelled, irritated that Radar would make such a mistake, "We're already late! Use the officers!

"R-R-Right! Yes Ma'am!" he gets up and and runs over to the Officers Latrines.

"Man, it's a wonder why he didn't wet himself just from that." Iggy joked.

Hawkeye walked up, "What's going on, kid?" He looked to Fang, "Class A?

"Yeah, and guess who has to defend Henry's honor in court?"

Hawkeye, "Best of luck. In the eyes of the Army.. Henry has no honor."

Iggy, sarcastically, "Well, who do you think is more blind, the Army or me?"

"Are we putting money on that question?" Fang asked sarcastically.

Everyone had a laugh at that.

Henry, "But, seriously. While I'm gone, business as usual. Don't let the dog hurt Klinger too much, and let Frank know he's in charge, till we return."  
Radar finished up in the latrine, and came back to the Jeep.

Iggy handed Hawkeye a small box, "Give this to Ferret Face. Tell him, it's my gift to him.

"I'll be sure to send your condolences with it then."

With that, they were finally off.

Hawkeye heard Klinger scream, a high pitched scream, "I told them, to send that dog back home."

At Headquarters.. General Clayton spoke.

He said, reading a paper, "This hearing has been called, to order. Numerous charges have been filed, against Lt Col Henry Blake, calling his fitness to Command in question. Similar charges, though not as extensive as the ones filed against Blake, have also been filed, against Captain Max Ride." He looks up, "What are children doing here?"

Max stood up and, while trying to keep her compose and act more presentable (I.E. nothing that makes Max, well Max.).

"Sir, as you may or may not have heard, all of us, including the youngest we're personally hand picked for the Draft by others above your pay grade."

Clayton was surprised, "I suppose, you were one of the CIA's, and more particular Lieutenant Flagg's, as he calls them, 'projects?'"

"Yes sir." Max declared.

Clayton stated, "Well, we have often called Flagg's sanity into question."

Iggy rolls his non-usable eyes, and sarcastically said, "Join the club, we have jackets

"That being said, he is the reason your here, so unless you want to waist the CIA's time to call and get him down here to revoke it, then I think it's best we move on." Clayton declared.

Fang adjusted his chair , "Okay. So, what are the charges? " He stood hoping to defend Max and Henry

Henry was beginning to look a little nervous where as if Max was nervous, she certainly wasn't showing it.

Clayton was eager to get the trial over with, "Major Fox, please read off the charges."

Fox asked, "Against which one, General?"

Max was slightly nervous . She didn't know what charges Burns and Houlihan could've filed against her. But, knowing old Ferret Face, she doubted it was anything too serious

Clayton said, "The first charge, you assisted a Captain Benjamen Franklin Pierce in an outburst in the camp cafeteria after he and yourself were served fish liver."

Max stood up, "Sir.. While I understand we're not civilians.. We should have choices, as to what to eat. We'd been served liver, for a whole week! We were tired, and as no one would listen, without the outburst.. I helped him out."

General Clayton replied, "I would like to remind you, Captain that our resources are spread thin as it is, we only recent delt with your own supply problem, we can't afford to compensate every person who is tired of what they eat."

Max gets flustered, "That's why Captain Pierce, with no knowledge from me.." Turns to Iggy, "Bur, from a certain Sergeant.. Contacted the restaurant, Adam's Ribs, in Chicago.

"And you condone his actions?"

Max, "All due respect.. Captain Pierce is one of the finest human beings I've ever known. He may not be a very good officer, but he's not trying to be. He's one of the best surgeons, on Earth. When we don't have wounded.. He's bored, and like everyone else, he wants to go home. And, he shaded his prize with most of camp. Do I condone his actions?" She sat back down, "If I could, I'd give him a medal for them

"I see..." These words were all noted down by the generals present.

The other did their best to save their applause for later.

Max, "Other charges, General? I'd love to hear, what Henry and I did, that was SO wrong

"Alright then, let's talk about the reports of your frequent 'nighlty excusions' with Sergent Nicolas 'Fang' Pierce."

According to the files about the Flock, Fang's given name was Nicolas. However, it didn't have a surname. Because he'd been getting along so well with Hawkeye, he adopted the surname, Pierce.

Max smiles, "It's a little thing called love. True, on a military base, that's kind of forbidden. But, we make it a point to preserve what little humanity exists in the military." She shrugs, "And, if President Harry 'the dumbass Truman, didn't want soldiers to do that, he shouldn't have let a CIA nut, draft teenagers."

Fang stood up, "Plus, General.. Unlike Majors Burns and Houlihan.. It's alright for us, as, unlike old Ferret Face, neither of us is married to anyone else.

"Well at least you freely admit to this one. However, what concerns us is not just the fact that you have a found love, it's where you practice your 'love' for each other. I have a short lost of locations provided by the acussor." He held up an entire different file, that looked pretty thick. "Let's see here, the list of places of which you have been caught in the act include: Teh Cafeteria, the OR (granted while it was unused) , the men's and women's ward, the food storage, under the bar of the officers club, the shower room, in the beds of various other personnel in your unit, and most infamously, on the roof of 'Rose's Bar', and the list goes on from there."

Max's smile grows, "General.." She shakes her head, "All due respect.. When it's a boiling hot day, nothing else to do.. You really feel like it, no wounded, and you don't care what anyone else thinks .. And you clean up when you're done.. What's it matter?

"True, but clean up doesn't excuse the fact that the meat act of doing so apparently cause most of the food in that storage to have to be thrown out."

While that was true, they only grew it out because Frank had all but insisted on it due to some military health code that no one ever heard of, translation, he was just doing it to be a baby about it.

Iggy stands up, "In the defense of a superior officer, and best friend.. They didn't 'contaminate' the food. Major Burns falsified records, using military health codes, we were NOT aware existed. Plus, if I may.. After this trial.. I have a few things to tell you, about our Major."

Max looked at him, angrily, "Iggy.." (Gives him the 'Mama Bear' look)

"Really? And do you have proof of this incident?" Asked one of the Generals.

Iggy, "Incidents, regarding Frank Burns.. Photos. For the incident with the food.." He takes out from his pocket, "A piece of uncontaminated, by Army standards, ham." He hands it to a General

He looked at the Ham, and then back at the sergeant. "And... how long have you had this on you?"

Iggy, "Private Total brought it to me, just after the 'incident' was over.

"I see. Thank you for coming forward with this... evidence. Moving on. This one actually concerns the youngest. One Corporal Angel... I don;t see a lst name, but given the circumstances, I assume Ride as a last name?"

Angel stands up, on the table, "Yes sir. I'll answer to that."

Clayton said, "This charge regards a black kimono you were given by one of the Nurses. Which you helped buy, by apparently assisting Corporal O'Riley, with selling 'black and white "wingtip shoes."

Max closes her eyes, in disappointment, "Wingtip shoes?" She looks to Radar, "Why?!"

"Uh, umm, I-I read it on the back of a match book, it said that you could earn extra money in your spare time by... selling high style wing tip shoes. I-I told Angel about it and she said she would help me with my sales pitch if I gave her a cut." Radar said, looking like he was about to wet himself.

General Clayton looks to the both of them, "You're both Corporals, in the United States Army."

Radar looked nervous, "Well, that isn't our fault, sir." Radar said, giving his best argument the only way Radar knew how.

Clayton looked back at Max and Henry. "And did either of you participate in this business venture?"

Max looked at her young Flockmate, "Unfortunately, she doesn't tell me everything."

Henry looked nervous, "Well, Sir.. May I ask.. What happened with the kimono?"

"Well... We don't know. The records show that everyone who was asked to take it back had all come back confused and unaware of what they were doing."

Angel smiled cutely, hiding her own mischievous intent.

Max patted Angel's head. She smiled at her, "Nice work."

Fang stands up, "I noticed the name of two other enlisted on the list of charges.

Major Fox, "Yes. Private Total. Major Burns charges him with constantly striking him, and calls him an.." Sees if he's reading it correctly, "'Enlisted dog'"

They all look at eachother. "Should we tell them?"

Iggy, "It's not an insult.. He's an actual dog. Four legged creature. Furry. Man's best friend?

"Yep we give him plenty of food and water, a collar to wear, and lots of time to run around."

Iggy, "And.. He doesn't STRIKE Major Burns.. He bites him

"Oh, I though we were talking about Major Burns."

Iggy starts to laugh, but Clayton is confused, "You let a pet.. Onto a military base?

"Well, to be fair, he wouldn't stop whining about it until we let him come. And its not like having Dogs on a military base is completely abnormal.

Clayton sighs, "Alright.. Having seen the evidence.. We move to the charged made.. Against Colonel Blake alone."

Fox, "Major Burns informs us, you have a transvestite in your unit

"Well I don't pry into a man's religion sir."

Angel sent him a telepathic message. "He means Klinger."

"Oh Klinger."

Max, "It won't help.. But, you should know, he spends his time, trying to get OUT of the Army

"Really?"

"Tell him about the glider Max." Angel said, eager to hear this story again.

Max sighed, "Corporal Klinger constructed a glider, to escape camp

"He used a what?"

Max put a hand over her eyes, "He constructed a hang glider, and attempted to fly out of camp. Needless to say, it didn't work

"Is that why this report talks about him being found two miles away from camp?"

Max simply groans, "Yes sir. We found him, completely unconscious

"Completely unconscious looking like a-"

"Big red bird with fuzzy pink feet." Everyone but Max and the Generals said in unison.

Max, "Yep. Klinger was quiet, his first few weeks with us. Kept to himself.. Then, started to dress in the clothes of the opposite sex

"I see. Colonel what did you think of Klingers attempt to desert the United States Army?"

"Well frankly sir, i think he would have made it if he had a better tail wind."

Max stands up, ready to leave, "So.. What other charges are there?" She walks towards the door, thinking it was over

"Not so Fast. Captain Ride, Colonial Blake, you are both to report here tomorrow to finish the hearing, until then you are both under arrest. You will both be confined to regimental quarters until this Hearing resumes. Corporal O'Reilly, Corporal Ride, Sargent Pierces and Sargent Iggy, you will each return to your unit. Blake, Ride, I suggest you have both your Corporals bring back whatever documents you will need to defend yourself for the most serious of these charges: Falsifying records, and lending aid and comfort to the enemy."

Max laughs, "Henry? Provide aid and comfort to the enemy? The Illinois State Draft Board, did that when they sent him here

Henry looked very confused and uncomfortable now.

Not that it mattered when the Generals brought in armed men to escort them to their quarters.

Iggy, stands up, "Before I leave.. I'll tell you.. You put the wrong people on trail. If anyone should be on trial, it should be Frank Burns."

Clayton also rises, "You may inform me why, tomorrow. After you provide evidence of Colonel Blake, and Captain Ride's innocence

"Iggy." Angel looked up at him worried, and while he was blind, telepathy does a damn good job of Conveying her emotions to him.

Iggy sighs, "I know. Right now, we're going back to camp, getting what we need, and saving Max and Henry. But, for the safety and morale of our unit.. When we're done..

Fang looked at Max. "Don't worry, we'll get what you two need to get out and then some."

Max hugs him, "Please do. And , when you see Hawkeye, tell him he owes me ten bucks on our last bet.

"Got it." With a wary goodbye from the others, they all head back to camp.

Once there Radar and Angel went to the Cafeteria While Fang and Iggy went to go find Hawkeye and Trapper to bring them to The two clerks.

They find them.

Iggy taps Trapper's shoulder, "Hey, boss

"Hey there partner, when did you two get back?"

Iggy, "Just now. Max and Henry need our help, especially from you guys

They look at eachother. "A parents work is never done, is it?"

"I told you we shouldn't have let him associate with that Margret girl and her sleazy boyfriend."

Fang walks into Radar's office, "Oh! Hawk, Max told to remind you, you owe her ten bucks."

"Tell her to put take it out of my paycheck. They go up to Radar who was currently stuffing his face while Angel was trying not panic by holding Total very close and very tightly.

Trapper looks uncomfortable, "Kid.. C'mon. Don't choke your dog to death

"Sorry, i'm just worried."

"Than squeeze a pillow, not me!" Total grunted out.

Hawkeye, "Alright. Where's Max and Henry?

Radar tries to swallow so he can answer.

"Will you stop that vacuum effect and answer?" Trapper asked, a little annoyed

"Colonial Blake and Captain Ride are still at headquarters, their under arrest." Radar said his mouth still with food in it.

Angel grips tighter, "Minor stuff, and supposedly, giving aid and comfort to the enemy

"What are you talking about?"

"The charges." Radar answered for her, seeing how upset she was just to talk about it. And partially for Total's sake since he looked like he was about to burst if she squeezed harder.

"What? Henry wouldn't do a thing like that."

Hawkeye then remember what Frank said to him and Trapper this morning. "Let me guess, was it Frank and Houlihan who sent the charges?"

Radar tried to get Angel to let go of the poor dog, "Yeah, now we have to get documents, to save them."

"Radar, angel, may I ask what these charges are based on?"

Angel finally lets Total go, "Colonel Blake gave nurse Meg Cratty penicillin. She lives North of the 38th parallel

"I see... Well then, I guess we should go get miss Cratty."

Total, after helping the documents, "I have a visit to make first

"With who?"

They store the documents, somewhere safe.

They all visit, Frank.. Total runs up, and bites Frank's leg, as hard as he can

"YEOUCH!" Frank yelled. "Get him off me! Get him off!"

Houlihan manages to pull him off. "Let go of your commanding officer right now, you mangy mutt!"

Total says, his voice muffled by Frank's legs, "This is for my TRUE CO!"

Frank yelled, "I AM your true CO, now get off!"

Fang appeared in the room, "Was that before, or after you falsified evidence to get Henry and Max arrested? " He was incredibly angry. Henry, was like his father. Max, was the woman he loved. He knew their leadership, was better than what these two had in mind.

Houlihan yelled, "Henry Blake and Maximum Ride, are unfit to Command!"

Fang yells back, "Frank Burns is unfit to Command a bakery, let alone a military unit!" He looked at Frank's face, as his pride was wounded.

Iggy yelled, "Ferret Face.. Every day, you find a new way to make me hate you!" He listened to the sound of the Major's breathing, and clenched his Fist.

Fang said, "We're getting Cratty. After we get her, we're standing up for Henry and Max. Then.. I'll throw your ass so far, you can say hi to ol' Joe Stalin."

Houlihan yelled, "That's threatening your commanding officer! Grounds for arrest!"

To make matters worse.. Iggy punched Frank, right in the nose.

In their quarters, Fang and Iggy were awaiting for Angel, to give her the plan. Frank had them, sitting in their quarters, in their underwear.

Angel walked in front of their quarters, and smiled. She extended her hand, asked the MP, "Fall asleep, please." The guard soon fell over, in a very undignified position.

Fang looked to his youngest Flockmate, "You know, Max is right.. You are a VERY scary, little girl sometimes

"And I pride myself on that. Now come on, we don't have much time, Hawkeye and Trapper should be out already!"

They get back into the Class A uniforms, get the documents, and get in the Jeep.

Total jumps in, seen only by Angel. She asked, whispering, "What are you doing?!"

"Hey, you didn't let me go before! So I'm coming now!"

As he said that, Frank and Houlihan spotted them.

Iggy hears Margaret's boots (and picks up Frank's stench). Once everyone's in the Jeep, he yells to Radar, "DRIVE!"

They drive off before Frank and Margret could get to them.

As they drived, Angel stick her tongue out and pulled down on the skin around her eye to taunt them.

Frank stomps his foot, "And they say the French, are supposed to be civilized!

"Well don't just stand there, we need to stop them!" Margret said before they go get a Jeep.

(Next day: Headquarters).

Max was still asleep, in the same chair she sat in, the previous day.

Henry sighed, "Oh, Max!"

"Huh?..." She looked up from her nap and looked at Henry.

Henry sat down, "C'mon! Our lives, could be on the line, here!"

Max smiled. "You talk like you don't trust our our own men to think of something to get us out. I've know Fang an Iggy for years, and with Hawkeye and Trapper on their side, not to mention Angel, they'll get us out. And when they do, I don't want to look like a total mess."

Henry sighed, "Okay. I'll just.. Hope."

The Generals entered the room

The generals st down as Max straightened herself out a little.

"Now then, let us address the most serious of the charges made against the both of you." Clayton says before deferring to Fox.

"It alleges that you falsified requisition records to obtain more Plasma, Penicillin, and other vital medical material than your unit needed. Further, these were given to unit, but were instead given to the Captain Ride as opposed to the officer that was supposed to be in charge of supplies, Major Houlihan, according to him-"

Max, interrupted, "Her, actually

"Ma'am?" Asked Fox.

"Uhh, yeah him's a her, she is a she." Henry joined in.

"Whose a she?"

Max found this funny, "Houlihan is a woman, our head nurse

"I see. So he is a she."

Clayton was less than amused. "Proceed Major."

Fox stopped and continued with the allegation. "It is further alleged that these materials were used to give aid to North Koreans, and you gave or sold said materials to one Meg Cratty , an american Nurse who has lived in Korea for the past 17 years and operates a clinic a sum three miles north of the 38th parallel all the while while Captain Max Ride oversaw Distribution to her clinic. Many of her patience are North Koreans."

Max became angry, "North Koreans, who would've died, if not for Meg Cratty. Not soldiers. Civilians. Children, pregnant women, and the like. Meg is a nurse. It's against medical training, to kill someone, solely over their politics

"Captain, may I remind you that we are fighting the North Koreans!?"

"We are aware of that General." Blake said, barely putting up any sort of fight.

"Then you both should no that what you both did is Treason! Regardless of rather or not she intends it, this nurse is willing to risk helping the enemy and you two are helping her do it!"

Are the allegation's true, Colonial Blake" Fox bluntly asked Henry.

Henry, having really no choice and pretty much felt castrated in this setting gave little effort to defend himself."Yes. B-B-Bu-But I don't mean yes in the sense that 'yes I gave aid and comfort to the enemy' but rather 'yes, Meg Cratty gave aid and comfort' t-that's what I meant by my yes sir, sir. A-And may I state that Max's actions were d-d-done solely under my order, sir, and that she was only doing what her commanding officer told her to, plain and simple. Shes a good soldier like that and I take full responsibility for her actions."

Max stands up, "General.. Between letting people die, by the circumstance that they live, in an enemy country.. Many of whom, don't want to be there.. And saving innocent people.. I'd save them. True, Henry ordered me to do it.. But, I was happy to. As well, he never deprived our own, of anything

"Max..." Henry was trying to hold back a smile due to how proud of her words he was.

"Than, the allegations of Majors Burns and Houlihan are substantially true."

Max looked at the board of Generals, hostility, "If they are charging us for giving medicine to people who need it.. Yes. If they're charging us with aiding the enemy.. No. "

Clayton became frustrated, "Colonel, these hearings are to determine if Court Martial proceedings are indicated! You have given me no alternative but recommend such proceedingsfor the both of you!"

Henry said, in a defeated tone, "I understand, General."

Clayton yelled, "Captain Ride has had much to say in her own defense. But, Colonel Blake.. Don't you have anything to say in your own defense? "

Henry sighed, "I was just trying to help. " He was about to call it quits, when Hawkeye, Trapper, Radar, Fang, Iggy, and Angel interrupted. With them were Meg Cratty, and a pregnant Korean woman.

Max ran up and hugged Fang, who quickly returned the hug.

Angel ran up and hugged Henry. Henry laughed, "Good to see you too, Frenchie. "

Hawkeye yells, "We'dlike to testify , General."

Total walked over to the Generals' desk, and jumped his usual six feet. Landing perfectly in front of the General.

Clayton asked, trying to ignore the dog's unusual jump height, "Who are these people? !"

Henry gestured to them, "You know Corporal O'Riley, Corporal Angel Ride, Sargent Pierces and Sargent Iggy. Captain Pierce and Captain McIntyre. "

Meg Cratty walked up, "I am nurse Cratty." She brought the Korean woman in front of her, "This woman, is a prime example of Henry Blake's work!"

"Oh! That's all I need." Said Henry.

Meg continued, "Thanks to Henry, this woman, and many others, will have healthy babies."

Max smiled, and listened to the nurse's words (and signaled her dog, to drop the files). The dog let go of the files, onto General Clayton's desk.

Meg finished, "Henry Blake is a fine surgeon, and one of the most decent men I've ever known. Which is more than I can say about any of you, high priced bellhops!"

Hawkeye whispered to her, "You're beautiful."

Meg rolled her eyes, "I USED to be, sonny."

Blake, finally getting the fire he needed lit up inside of him stood up. "May I say something General?" He walked up to the table. "Before Meg Cratty set up shop, seven out of ten babies born to the hill people never made it past the first few days! My giving her penicillin and whatever just made her Job a little easier! No money changed hands, and I didn't deprive our own wounded kids one one thing!" He then looks right dead into Clayton's eyes. "I'm guilty, that's my explanation, so you can hang my butt from a flagpole!" Henry finished before sitting down.

Clayton actually smiled a little, before going to whisper to Fox.

Just as he did though, guess who should show up?

Iggy sighed, "Oh look, the commander of the Anti-Henry brigade

"General, Permission to address this hearing." Frank said in a funny voice due to his nose being broken by Iggy.

"What happened to him?" Max whispered to Fang.

Fang whispered, "Apparently, Frank got his ass whupped a dog and a blind man

Max smirked and thought to Angel, 'Remind me to tell Iggy and Total how proud I am of them right now.'

General Clayton becomes confused, "Who are these two?"

Max gestures to them, "Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan, head nurse. Frank 'Ferret Face' Burns, head twerp."

The two majors tried to keep a professional demeanor and not respond to her insult to Franks pride

"Which is which?" Asked Clayton.

"Doesn't matter, they are interchangeable."

Frank, also trying to ignore that just went and spoke. "General, these man is AWOL."He said, referring to the Calvary that just came to save Henry and Max.

Trapper said, "Only because we're absent without leave

"They drugged two MP's and stole a jeep!" Frank said.

Angel tried to hide a smirk sine he was only half right about that.

"Whatever they have told you, these four are living proof of Henry Blake's and Max Ride's unfitness for command." Houlihan jumped in.

Max stood up, "Margaret.. Shove it." She walked over to Clayton, and picked up her dog, "I didn't ask to be here. I didn't ask, to be in the Army. However, in the time I'm here.. I don't intend, to command like you. I am trying to protect, my Flock, my family. And, while I'm with the 4077, no matter which side.. I help people. I may not be, a big army person.. But, I'm trying to lead, with some humanity

"Right!" Blake said in support of Max's speech. "As for me, i've never claimed to be a junior General MacArthur. Look, i'm a doctor and I try to patch up wounded kids AND run a hospital! Something that's hard enough to do on its own, that's why its good to know I have a someone I can depend on to do so with me, and that won't try to stab me in the back for something so petty as to get my position." he said as he both complimented Max and called out Frank.

Major Fox suddenly remembered, "Falsifying charges, to take a superior's position,. That's illegal, in the militaries of 50 countries. Including Russia."

Everyone ignored this, but Frank suddenly got worried.

Clayton looked to Burns, "Having seen the evidence, and heard all I have.. I'd like to end this, on a positive note. For that, Major.. I need you to drop the charges

Frank swallowed before he began his won speech. "J-Just a minute General. I am proud to serve in the United states Army and equally proud to fight in this war, my family came to America in 1927!"

"Riding on a pony." Hawkeye deadpanned.

"A pony made out of cotton candy." Fang added to it in a equally deadpanned voice.

As Frank continued his own speech, Hawkeye was handed a piece of paper and a pen by Angel, who could already tell what he had planned.

Fank continued, as Total growled, "And, I will not change my opinion, in any way, shape, or form!"

Hawkeye wrote on the paper, and handed it to Frank

"Whats this?" Frank asked.

"New evidence."

Frank read it and with Angel counting down...

Frank looked at the General, and the still growling dog, "With the new evidence, I hereby drop the charges."

Everyone got confused. Even Total made that noise (I can't describe it, just.. That noise, dogs make when they're confused).

Houlihan was just as confused and surprised. "Frank!" She exclaimed.

Frank handed her the paper.

Clayton asked, "Are you sure, Major?"

Houlihan read the paper, "He's sure!"

The Generals got up, and prepared to leave

"Better luck next time you two." Angel thought to them.

Angel taunts the two majors in French, "même l'armée doit être juste parfois"

The two Majors walked away

"Well, with this hearing over, I would off all of you a drink, but the officers club doesn't open for another Hour."

Fox stands up, "I have the key sir

That was the first time that day they have seen Clayton actually smile widely. "Fox, put yourself out for a Silver Star." He said while patting the mans back while they all left.

Meg went up to Henry and shook his hand. "Congratulation Henry!"

Henry shook her hand, "Thanks, Meg."

Meg turned to Max, "You too, Max

"Thanks Meg, and give my regards to the other patience."

Iggy asked, "So.. What's this new evidence?

"Does it matter?"

Iggy thinks it over, "No. Just good to have you guys back."

Radar read the 'evidence' "Dear Mrs. Burns.. We believe you should know, your husband is constantly out of uniform. We figured, you'd like to know with whom

Everyone chuckled, and headed back to camp

Once back at Camp, everyone was genuinely surprised to see everyone there for Colonial Blake, all of them were wearing the black and white wing tipped shoes that Radar sold them.

Radar put his cap over his face.

Angel giggled, knowing her teaching had worked.

Max looked to her youngest, "Grounded."

Angel pouted, while everyone else saluted.


	11. Hot Lips and Empty Arms

Radar was on his usual mail run. He stopped by the Swamp. He gave everyone their mail.

Burns let outa sound of happiness.

Hawkeye asked, "What's up, Frank? Your neighborhood no longer restricted?" What's a day, without the typical stabbing of Frank's ego?

Frank fired back, "My neighborhood is NOT restricted! There's a Catholic right across the street!

Fang and Iggy walked in. Fang asked, "Hawk, what's new? " They hadn't received any mail and were quite bored. So, they figured they would bother their mentors.

Hawkeye responded, "Oh, hey kid. Not much. Just medical journals from Dear old dad." Somehow, Hawkeye's father always knew when they needed medical journals.

Fang became interested, "Really? Mind if I take a look at them, after you finish with them? If your dad's as smart as you are, it may be an interesting read." Hawkeye was the best surgeon in the camp . He learned surgery, from the same school his father did.

Hawkeye looked at his student, "Sure. I don't mind. But, I'd say he's smarter." Hawkeye always spoke highly of his father.

Fang chuckled, "I find that almost impossible. But, since this is your dad we're talking about, it makes sense." Fang learned surgery under Hawkeye. Hawkeye was the best surgeon he'd ever known (that didn't experiment on him and the Flock.). The man who taught Hawkeye, was probably smarter.

Iggy, who'd grown incredibly bored, asked Trapper, "What about you, boss? " Trapper always got something interesting in the mail. He'd always read it to his blind student, to make sure he was entertained.

Trapper replied, not even looking up from his letter, "Just some stuff from my wife."

Iggy knew Trapper's life at home , was his business. Trapper didn't pry into his private life. Why should he? But, he didn't receive any mail and was bored. He asked, "Anything you're willing to read?"

Trapper said, "Yeah, C'mon over."

Radar went off to deliver the rest of the mail. Angel was standing in front of Hot Lips' tent.

Radar asked her, "What are you doing here, Angel?" It was unusual for her to be out of her quarters, this early in the morning.

Angel replied, "Just wandering around Camp. What about you? " She knew Radar had things to do. But, in Hot Lips' tent was rare (for anybody. )

Radar knelt down, and said, "I've got mail for Major Houlihan." He looked around, "Since I got you.. You mind bringing Colonel Blake his mail? I've got to get everyone else's."

Angel took mail for Henry, "Sure!" She walked away, and telepathically told Radar, "Only if we can listen in on Hot Lips, when she gets her mail."

Radar walked into Hot Lips tent, and handed her the only letter she had received. She asked, "Are you sure this is it, Radar? "

Radar replied, "Yes, Ma'am. Just the one letter." He walked out, noting the look of disappointment on Houlihan's face.

Angel walked into Henry's office, her dog following her.

Henry asked, "What are you doing here?" He'd been expecting Radar. Usually, Radar handles the mail. But, Angel was the secondary Company Clerk.

Angel said, "We have mail for you. Three letters from your wife, and a postcard from your parents, in Niagara Falls. They're second honeymooning there."

Henry looked up from his microscope, "Well, I hope they don't get me a little brother or sister." As they all had a laugh, he said, "Oh! Tell the cook, not to handle the food for a few days." Angel looked confused, "Every time he goes into town, he gets the flu!"

Angel sighed, "You'd think he'd be immune by now." She handed him a package, that was all wrapped up.

The dog read it, "Tabasco film company, Havana, Cuba?"

Henry looked to the dog, "How would you like a muzzle for the rest of the war?"

Angel asked, "Why'd you order a film, Colonel Blake? "

Henry became nervous, "Uh.. I wanted to see a good movie and. . I-Corps wouldn't let me have this."

Angel asked, "Are you gonna leave us out? " She wanted to see a good movie too. And, she liked the fear Henry was showing her.

Henry sighed, "This is an adult movie! If I showed you this, Max, and probably your parents, would have my head! You're too young to watch this anyway!"

Angel sighed, "Fine." She picked up a reading of disappointment. From.. Margaret? She decided to go check on the Major.

Angel left to check on Hot Lips.. She stopped by her quarters, to wake a sleeping Nudge. She wasn't surprised to see Nudge, still out of uniform from her 'fun' with Iggy the previous night

Angel got on to the bed, and shook Nudge, to wake her

Nudge groaned and tried to avoid whatever was trying to take her out of her slumber.

Angel shook harder, "C'mon! I need your help!

As Nudge shifted away..

Angel decided to bribe her, "I'll arrange a week's pass, in Tokyo for you and Iggy."

That woke her up as she hurried to get her uniform on.

Angel smirked, "Okay.. Before we do anything else.. We have to go check on Major Houlihan

"Houlihan, why?" Nudge asked, curious as to why they would want to go to her boss, and secretly hoping that they don't do anything to make her life harder.

Angel replied, "She's got a distressed feeling, and I think we may be the only ones who can help."

"Alright, but can you at least tell me what's going on?"

Angel sighed "The Major got a letter from home.. And it's bumming her out. So, if you help me solve this problem.. I'll help you and Iggy get seven days in Tokyo."

"You got it. Though this is Houlihan we are talking about. So that may be easier said than done."

Angel sighed, "You're right. Mon Dieu." She walked out, "Well.. Better get a move on

Nudge was about to ask something, but just sighed and went along. Angel was really stubborn when it came to things like this, in fact, one could argue the only one more stubborn than her was Max.

They walked all the way to Houlihan's tent.

Nudge whispered, "Don't make life harder, please."

Angel knocked on the door

"What is it?" The Major asked, trying not to sound upset.

Angel yelled, "It's us! Corporals Nudge and Angel!"

"Now is not a good time." She said simply.

Nudge replied, "Major. . Believe me. I wouldn't be bothering you, if it weren't for good reason. Open up. Please."

She sighed heavily before slamming the door open. "What?"

Angel walked up to the Major, "I sensed something was wrong, and I wanted to help you. "

Nudge declared, "And she bribed me to help her, help you

"I see. Well while I admire your concern for my well being, I can tell you that I am perfectly fine."

Nudge looked at Houlihan, "I can tell when you're lying, Major."

When that didn't work.

Angel put on the cutest face, she possibly could and said, "Please, tell us Major?"

Houlihan did her best to resist, but despite herself, she found her stone cold heart begin to warm up. "Fine, you may come in, but what I tell does NOT leave this tent or so help me I will tell Max about your little excusion to the kitchen to get free chocolate before anyone else, and I'm one to bet thst she will have it to where you can't sit for a month if she finds out. Understood?"

Angel walks forward, "Understood."

Nudge walked in behind her, "What's up, Marg?

"Thats Major to you." She said sternly before closing the door behind her, she was still an officer after all, even if they were having a personal talk. "And this is the problem." She hands her the letter.

Nudge read the letter, "A friend, sent you a letter? About her life, since you last saw her?

Angel realized, "Major.. Are you jealous, of another nurse?

The Major didn't answer.

Nudge walked up to the Major first. She asked, "Uh. . Major Houlihan? Is something wrong?" She'd seen Margaret upset before. But, this was a new kind of upset. One she'd only seen this look of upset in the States

Margret said, "It's nothing." The two girls, looked at her, knowing she wasn't telling the truth. She sighed, "Tricia Spalding! She and I were in basic training together. She married the doctor, I turned down! Now, she has a loving husband, a beautiful house, money, two beautiful children. . Things I could've had! But NO! I married the Army! And what have I got to show for it? Rotten living conditions, no social life , surrounded by insolent doctors and nurses who don't give me any respect!"

Angel huggged Margaret's leg, "I respect you Major. And Nudge respects you.. In her own way

Margaret scoffed "And where will you two be when the war is over? Where will Frank be? Off in his home with his wife and children, and i'll only be a smile on his face his wife won't understand."

Angel gripped tighter on the Major's leg, "If you want.. I can convince Colonel Blake to give you a three day pass, in Tokyo."

"I don't want a weekend, I want a lifetime."

Nudge sighed, "Major.. I don't know what to tell you. I'd like to help, but all I can say is-"

As she was about to speak, static came on the PA system

"Attention, all personnel. Allied incoming port to surgery."

"We'll continue this later." Margret said as she went out of her tent.

Nudge looked to Angel, "So.. My week's pass to Tokyo.. When's that coming?"

The young French girl said, "When the Major feels better!

"I thought you might say that." Nudge said with a sigh. She then went to get ready for surgery.

(OR)

The Flock all rused into surgery,with the others.

Henry saw them. He asked Angel, "How'd it go with the Major, Frenchie?

"Well she didn't bite our heads off the second she got a chance, sooo, there is progress."

Henry, sighed "Okay just.. Watch her. Make sure nothing goes, too wrong, if you catch my drift

Roger!" She said giving a cute little salute before going to make sure that things don;t get too out of hand with Margret.

Margaret yelled at a nurse, "You have only nine sponges."

The nurse said, "There's none in the patient."

Hawkeye remarks, "Frank's not done yet."

Margaret looked hostilely at the nurse, "It's on the floor. Be careful with your sponges!"

Angel sighed as she knew that this may become a problem, especially since Nudge is one of those nurses.

Margaret broke up with Burns. She marched into Henry's office. She saw Radar, reading a magazine of some sort

Margret then began to bark orders at Radar. "Come to attention! Get to your feet! And get rid of that Magazine! "

Radar does such, "Yes sir!

"It's Ma'am," She corrected. "Men are sirs. Women are ma'ams. I'm a woman. I'm a ma'am."

Radar said, "Yes, Sir, Ma'am!" He became confused, "Ma'am sir?"

Angel just simply giggled, but stopped herself before Margaret could hear her

She lets put a deep sigh to calm herself. "Where is Colonal Bubblehead?" She asked again.

Radar said, "In his office, but he asked not to be distributed

"He already is disturbed." She said before walking towards the office.

Angel walked out from the desk, as Hot Lips went into Henry's office. She looked to her partner, "That.. Coulda gone better

"Yeah... Especially given what they are watching.

In Henry's office, Hawkeye, Trapper, Fang, Iggy and Henry were watching Henry's dirty movie.

Hawkeye yells, "That's Charlie Abrams receptionist!" He laughed, "She looks better in balloons than in a uniform!

Iggy, confused by Hawkeye's statement asked Fang, "What's he talking about?"

"The girl in this movie." Fang said as he begins to describe her for him.

Iggy listens to Fang, as he describes the girl .

Trapper, asks his student, "Aren't you afraid your girlfriend will hear about this?

"Nah, Nudge doesn't care where I get my motor running, so long as I park it in the right garage."

Everyone chuckled. Understanding.. Until...

"COLONEL!

"Oh crap." Iggy said rolling his eyes at the grading noise that belongs to one Major Margret Houlihan.

Fang muttered, "You said it."

Margaret yelled, "That's most vulgar, base thing I've ever seen!

Hawkeye commented, "The critics panned it too, but we're trying to judge it on it's own merits

"What do you want Hot lips?" Asked Fang annoyed at her.

Margaret becomes annoyed, "That's Major to you!" She looked to Henry, "Why would you watch that?!"

Henry yelled, "Oh, for Pete's sake! We're grown men, a long way from home!" He shut the projector off.

Trapper and Fang, "HEY!

Henry looked Hot Lips in the eyes, "And. To tell the truth.. The only woman, I need to explain ANYTHING to.. Is a thirty-five year old, lightly pigeon toed mouth breather, with two thousand dollars worth of bridge work!"

"Amen to that." Iggy said

Margaret yelled, "I'm sure, she would find that obscene!

"Why when there is a bigger obsenity, it's called the war." Hawkeye pointed out. "Anyone over 18 is admitted."

Iggy, "And only six known exceptions."

Margaret looked to Henry, "I need a transfer!

"No transfers are issued until the cab comes to a full stop." Quipped Hawkeye.

"And watch your step getting off." Trapper said in a slightly mocking Manor.

Margaret look hostilely at them, "And THEY are on top of my list!"

Hawkeye shook Trapper's hand, "We finished first and second."

Trapper looked over to Iggy and Fang, "With two close runner up

Iggy shrugged, "Well.. Can't take all the credit."

Fang smirked, "We had good teachers ."

Margaret looked hostilely at them.

Henry commanded, "Stop right there, you guys, that's an order."

Margaret scoffed, "An order? Please! Why don't you stop masquerading as a Commanding officer?! You're nothing more than a spineless fly fishing, mealy-mouthed imposter!"

Trapper simply said, "He's not an imposter."

Hawkeye pointed out, "He's a genuine spineless, fly-fishing mealy-mouth."

Everyone but Margaret simply burst into laughter. Henry yelled, "Pierce you're the limit!'

Margaret yelled, "That's right . Laugh!"

Henry asked, sighing in defeat, "You really want to leave us? "

Margret replied, "I really have to."

Radar came in, already anticipating what his CO wanted, "Here's the transfer papers, sir."

Fang got up from his chair, "Well. . Guess makes Nudge head nurse." He smirked, and looked at his Flockmate, "You're probably NEVER gonna hear the end of it."

Iggy sighed, "Indeed I won't. She's not going to forget this soon." The two Sergeants left to go tell the rest of their Flock the news.

Henry looked to Margaret, " Well. . What's happened, has happened . But, We are family." Aside from the Flock, no one outside this room will know about this, till later."

Radar came on the PA system, "Attention! All personnel ! As of right now, Major Margret Houlihan is leaving the 4077. There will be wine with dinner, with ice cream and chocolate sauce."

Margaret looked to Henry, disappointed. Henry merely shrugged.

Hawkeye said, "Well, there are families and then there are 'families.'"

Margaret walked out of the room and Henry simply started the movie back up.

(Later. Flock's quarters.)

Everyone was surprised. Nudge sighed, "Well. . Guess I'm head nurse, now." She sighed, "I don't know if I could handle that much responsibility."

Iggy held her in his arms, "You'll be okay. You've got the rest of us, to help you through it."

Max rubbed her forehead ,"Well. . Whatever you two did. .." She looked to the two older boys of her Flock ,"Fix it!"

Iggy said, "Oh come on! We finally get rid of Hot Lips, Stick up the ass Houlihan! If we're lucky. . Without her.. Frank will vanish!"

Fang sighed, "Well, Hot Lips isn't as bad as Ferret Face. So, we may actually need her."

The two went outside and looked for their mentors. Hawkeye and Trapper were headed to Margaret's tent. Nudge and Angel soon followed.

Fang asked them, "I'm sorry. What are you two doing here?"

Nudge said, "I got something to say to Hot Lips."

Hawkeye realized, "Why don't we let the girls go in first and we scram? Maybe Max won't kill us, if they apologize for us. "

Fang said, not believing Hawkeye's words , "No she wouldn't. And. . You're just as responsible for this as we are. So. . I have to apologize. . So do you. "

Nudge knocked on the door , "Major. It's me." When Margaret didn't answer, she went inside.

Margaret asked her, "What do you want?" Margaret was packing. Getting ready for her transfer.

Nudge said, putting her hand on the Major's shoulder, "Well. . I wanted to say, what I was going to say earlier. For what it's worth.. I do respect you Major. I may not show it all the time . But, you're a good nurse and a decent officer. You're just rough around the edges. But I know, deep down inside. . You're a good person. You just need to let us in, not shut us out." She walked back to the door, "If things had been different. . Had you been a little nicer to the other nurses. You'd be.. Kinda. . Like another mom to me. But, since you're leaving. . I guess we'll never know. Goodbye, Major Houlihan."

Margaret was touched by her words. She wanted to ask her about that. But, decided not to. She saw Hawkeye, Trapper, Fang and Iggy walk into her tent.

Fang said, "We'd like to make amends, before you go."

Iggy tried to look her in the eyes (but, for a blind man, that's almost impossible. So.. His eyes wound up 'looking' at her chin.). He said, regretting his earlier actions, "You only deserved SOME of the stuff I helped do to you. Plus. . You mean something to the woman I love. So, to make her happy, I'll try to make amends before you go."

Margaret simply looked at them. She said, "That's admirable of you both. But I'm not staying." She'd made up her mind. It wasn't changing.

Then. . Hawkeye and Trapper did something stupid (as usual). They got Margaret drunk.

Casualties were coming in. Margaret, drunk beyond belief, walked over to Henry, "Major Marihan Houlihat reporting for duty, Sir ."

Hawkeye, Trapper, and the Flock stood nearby. Laughing at the drunken nurse. Henry sighed, "Drunk as a skunk. Go back to your tent, Major."

Margaret said, "I can't operate in my tent, sir."

Max said, a sarcastic smirk on her face, "That's not what Major Burns told us. "

Trapper laughed, "You're doing okay so far!"

Max finished up laughing, "Henry, you go deal with the casualties. We'll get Margaret to her old self."

They took Margaret to the shower tent (not even bothering to remove her uniform, before getting her into the shower. The cold water quickly got her attention.

After they dried her off, she said, "Where did that leave me? I turned to that pale skinned, sniveling, lipless wife lover!" She asked, "Have any of you, ever kissed Frank Burns?"

The youngest two merely shrugged, "No."

Nudge yelled, "Ew! No!"

Max said , "You'd have to kill me first."

Iggy declared, "Did you really ask me that? Of course not!"

Fang simply declared, "Not in a trillion years."

Trapper said , "Me? No." He looked to Hawkeye , "You?"

Hawkeye sarcastically said, "I was thinking, maybe this New Year's Eve." He stuck a bicarbonate needle into Margaret's arm. He said, "To get you back on your feet."

Margaret said, still a little drunk, "And I didn't get you anything."

(In the OR).

Everyone was operating on patient after patient . Making sure they survived.

Between operations, Margaret asked Nudge, "What did you mean earlier? When you said you might have seen me as another mother? "

Nudge sighed, and lead Margaret to where no one could hear them. She said, "I.. Never knew my biological mother. Max's mom has been kinda like my mom, for the past few years. But she's back in the States. I've got Max and she and I have always been close l, but. . She's not a mom." She looked at Margaret, "You're my mentor. One of the best nurses I've ever seen. Plus, you actually care about the patients. You're a little too strict for my tastes. . But, if you tone it down . Way down. . We might get somewhere. You're also wiser and. . I don't know."

Margaret took her words into consideration. She smiled under her surgical mask and said, "I'll.. Certainly try. When you get back from Tokyo."

After the inflow of wounded stopped. Margaret agreed to stay. . And Nudge and Iggy got their week pass to Tokyo.


	12. Meet Flagg And Peters

(Now. . We introduce Flagg .)

In early morning.. Is pretty simple at the 4077. Particularly, for Max. Max's routine: Wake up next to her boyfriend. Get into uniform. Eat what the Army calls food for breakfast. Wait for the wounded. . Operate on the wounded... Go for a nighlty excusions with aforementioned boyfriend. . And go to sleep. But. . . Something about today felt. . Different. A feeling she hadn't felt. . Since she first got drafted. She decided to see if Henry knew anything about it.

Henry didn't know what would be different about that day. He looked at his records, "This one is one the best orderlies in this outfit." He gestured to a shorter man in the room. A man brown hair and blue eyes. Henry said, "Captain Max Ride. . Meet Sergeant John Peters. He's one of our new orderlies."

Peters extended his hand, "It's nice to meet you, Captain." They shook hands, "I look forward to working with you. ."

Max, feeling she had seen Peters somewhere before, said, "Yeah. You too, I guess." She KNEW she'd seen him somewhere before. But, had no idea where. Wherever it was. . It had been a long time.

Henry said, "Alright. You're both dismissed." He heard a jeep honking in the distance. He and Max went outside and saw an officer in a jeep.

The Jeep had a CIA flag on it. The man driving it. . Had brown hair and wore sunglasses. He was dressed in the uniform of the CIA.

Max sighed, "Oh. Wonderful." She said, "We have a guest." She gestured to him.

Henry looked at the daily schedule. A CIA Lieutenant was supposed to visit them. He said, "They say all CIA agents are clowns. But, I have to be respectful."

Max asked Henry, "Circus in town, or something?"

"Something like that." He said, getting ready to meet with the odd CIA operative known as Flagg.

Henry prepared to be respective.

Max said, walking up to the car, "Lieutenant Flagg. Our Intelligence man, who lacks any intelligence."

"Good to see you too Maxie." Flagg said, taking the comment as a good matured rib.

Max said, "What are you doing here? Came to draft us all again?"

"Nah, you all are good where you are, Though this does concern both you and Colonel Blake."

Fang and Iggy, along with Trapper and Hawkeye walk up.

Hawkeye says to his 'shadow,' "Who's this guy?"

"Some guy from the CIA, his name is Flagg. He is actually the one who drafted us."

Iggy, "He didn't even check if I was blind. Just gave me the papers"

"Is that right?" Trapper said, sharing a look with Hawkeye.

Burns sees from a distance, as Nudge walks up to the car.

She says to Flagg, "CIA stooge."

"Good to see you too." Flagg said, acknowledging her there.

"Hey! You can't speak to a CIA operative like that Corporal!" he turns to Flagg. "I am so sorry sir, Let me reassure you that proper disciplinary measures will be used to make sure she doesn't disrespect you like that."  
"No need for that Major, I know these kids well enough to know when they mean it or not."

"You do?" Burns asked surprised.

"Of course I do, I'm the one who had them sent here in the first place."

That surprised Burns.

Burns, "Why'd you do it?"

Nudge shrugged, "I always assumed, it was because he was crazy."

"Unfortunately Major that information is on a need-to-know bases and you are not at liberty to know." Flagg says to Burns before turning back to Colonel Blake. "Speaking of need-to-know, would you mind if I spoke to you and Captain Ride in your office please?"

Henry, "Sure, Lieutenant." They walk past Mulchay and Gazzy.  
Gazzy, seeing Flagg, "Good thing, God forgives crazy"

"You know that man?" Mulchay asked, a bit surprised.

Gazzy boredly told his mentor, "Lieutenant Flagg. The guy who brought he six of us to Korea. Angel calls him-"

Angel ran up and yelled, "Flaggy!"

"Hey kiddo!" Flagg said as he was greeted by the youngest of the flock. "How have you been?"

Angel smiled "Okay. Being clerk is an okay job. How about you?"

Flagg was nonchalant, "Up for promotion next month, given how this goes."

Angel became curious, "You want to get the others, or do you just need Max?"

"Sorry Kiddo. This one just concerns the two commanders. Maybe next time."

Max, seeing Radar was locked in his office, "Let him out, Angel. Or, you'll have to give up the keys."

Angel, seeing Max is serious, "Okay." She left to let Radar out.

They walked into Henry's office. Max, "What are you here for, Lieutenant Crazy?"

"Well, to make a long story short, we have a case of a soldier going AWAL, he holds some important information that could be invaluable to the CIA."

"And you think he is here?"

"Exactly, I tracked him here. I believe he disguised himself as one of the soldiers here, it could be anyone of us."

Max is shocked, "What?"

Flagg, "It isn't Burns. Looked too real, to be a NS Spy."

Max looked confused , "NS?"

Flagg explained , "Initials, that have something to do with your past, Captain."

Max realized , "You mean.."

Flagg looked at the Captain. "Do you want to tell her or should I?"

Max became angry, "I thought you CIA people got rid of them!"

Flagg sighed "It appears we missed one. Now he's here."

Henry, "I'm confused. What does NS stand for?"

"NS is the abbreviation for Nationalsozialismus, better know to us as Nazis.

Max became frustrated with Flagg "So, what do you want us to do, Lieutenant crazy?" Flagg, "Again.. Depending on how this goes, I'm up for promotion. So to you, Maxie, it could soon be Captain Crazy."

Max became even angrier "Still doesn't explain, what you want me to do."

"I want you two to help me investigate the camp, but I wan tot keep it ad discrete as possible, that means not telling anyone outside of this room."

Max, "Well, no doubt Angel already knows. You can trust the six of us." Turns to Henry, "May want to investigate Frank, though."

"I want them kept out of the investigation. If I am right, they may be a part of the same branch that you and your family are all to familiar with."

"You mean the same branch that put wings on them?" Henry blurted out.

Flagg turned to Max with a raised eyebrow. "I thought we discussed keeping that discreet."

Max, "Well, when you have a North Korean Sniper Knick your shoulder bone, and Pierce has to operate on your shoulder, they're going to ask questions."

"Fair point. But back to my original point, if my intel is right and he was a part of that branch, then that means that involving them in this investigation could prove very dangerous, seeing as how he would be aware you all of your abilities."

Henry, "A CIA operative you may be, but you are still a Lieutenant! You don't question things here!" He sighed, "We'll look into this together."

Flagg sighed and thought for a moment. "Alright then, what do you think?"

Henry, "They've been learning well enough.. That, Hawkeye taught them all, how to do surgery.. In reverse. So, if he tries to attack them.."

"They might be able to do some serious damage."

Max, "Plus.. A lot of our abilities.. Himmler didn't expect"

"You mean the Telepathy Angel has?"

Max, "Yeah. No one expected that. They didn't expect her to be able to read minds. They didn't expect Nudge to control magnetism. Or Fang to turn invisible."

Flagg, "He can turn invisible?"

"As long as he sits in one place for a while yeah." He said remembering a somewhat embarrassing encounter when Fang was sitting in the same room while he was with one of the nurses and he never noticed him until he spoke up.

Flagg saw Fang slowly turn visible. He said, "How long have you been there?"

"Until you came to your senses and got us involved." Fang said turning visible again.

Flagg, bizarrely smiling, "I like you kids equally, but for some reason he's the one I like best." Sees Angel staring angrily at him, "Aside from you."

Angel slowly opened up the door and came in.

As the door slowly opensthe others could be seen listening in.

Flagg's eyes widen as he saw the group that was listening in, he was angry, furious even, though he did his best not to explode in a barrage of swearing due to Angel and Gazzy being there, he still let his anger be known. "Well so much for secrecy!"

Gazzy, walked up to the CIA Lieutenant "Flagg.. God forgives crazy. Not sure how he feels, about keeping too many secrets."

"Look, you brought us here for a reason, even though we STILL can't comprehend that reason, we are here, and we are going to help, but we will NOT keep secrets from eachother. If we go down, we go out together. That is how its going to be, got it?" Max stated, determined to keep that promise.

Flagg was going to respond, but then he thought about it for a minute. He took a minute to breathe and let put his anger aside, there were more important things right now. "So Captain," He turns to her. What is the plan?"

Max is smug, "Simple, Sammy."

Flagg, became annoyed "Don't call me that."

Max, turning to Hawkeye, "Have you noticed anything different, with any other member of the unit?"

"Only one, a guy named Peters seemed to be a little on edge since you guys came here, but I just assumed he was just upset that the army would draft kids. Didn't think too much about it at the time. You think he has something to do with this?"

Max gestured to Hawkeye "When you were drunk, Hawk, you sang 'Der Führer's Face.' A WWII, propaganda song." Turned to Frank, "You know, you sat across from him."

Frank put a hand on his barely seen chin , "Now that I think about.. Peters speaks perfect German. He seemed offended, when Pierce sang that song."

"Question, do you know where he is right now?"

Frank, "I just sent him to go look for Klinger. He should of returned with Klinger and McIntyre from the local village."

"If he think were on to him, he may try to escape then, we should get there now." Flagg said getting ready to run out to the jeep.

Flock arrived. Max yelled, "Peters! Stop where you are.

Peters tried to act innocent, "Why, Captain. . What's all this about?"

Trapper got out of the Jeep, and said, "We just want to ask you a few questions, Peters. "

Peters tried to keep up the act, "Captain McIntyre. I am an open book. Ask me, whatever you want."

Flagg yelled, still waving his gun, "Don't try to play it innocent, Peters! Or. . Should I call you, by your real name? Captain Hans Muller, of the Gestapo. Serial number, 886432."

Peters looked shocked. He looked around in fear. Hawkeye said , trying to calm him down, "Hans. I know this doesn't look good for you. But, trust me. It'll be a lot easier for you, if you come back to the 4077 with us."

Peters (or, Muller as he's truly called) took out his gun, and shot Trapper in the leg. He ran.

Hawkeye checked on Trapper, who said, "Nothing a little surgery won't fix. Just get him."

Flagg ran back to the Jeep, "I'll call for reinforcements!"

As Peters hid. . He took something out of his pocket. During WWII, before the Allies destroyed the lab .. He took a serum from it. A serum that enhances physical abilities. He injected himself with it. A rush of adrenaline came to his brain. The limits the mind has on the body, had been lifted. His physical traits on par with the Flock .

The Flock chased after him. Angel read his mind, "He's still here he hasn't left, just yet. "

Iggy heard Peters muttering in German. He smelled the stench of Sour kraut. He traced if, "Over there!" The others found him.

Peters battled the Flock. Max tried punch him, but he threw her onto the ground. Peters repeatedly hit Fang in the face, and threw him onto Iggy. Nudge attempted to fly over him , but he grabbed her by the leg and threw her on top of Gazzy. He then kicked Angel, and ran away.

Angel, quickly getting up ,yelled, "I'll find him!" She spread her wings and flew after him.

Max yelled , "Angel! Wait for us, you'll get killed!"

(Soon after).

Peters stopped by a river. Planning to escape, and search for the Fuhrer. He was the last survivor of the scientists, from the lab. He believed. . That Hitler was still alive. Hiding in Korea.

Angel was the first to find him . She ran towards. Each of the Flock, has physical abilities that could overpower any normal person. However, with the serum, Peters was no normal person. He easily overpowered her and knocked her out. He didn't kill her, but before he could do anything, Hawkeye caught up to him.

He soon held up his gun, and took the unconscious Angel, hostage.

Hawkeye looked around. Hoping for some kind of solution. He saw Fang, slowly walking up behind Peters. Fang signaled Hawkeye, telling him to keep the Nazi preoccupied. Fang then, turned invisible.

Hawkeye was forced to play negotiator. He said, calmly, "Now. . Hans-"

Peters yelled, speaking in a thick German accent, "Captain Muller, to you, you American swine!"

Hawkeye said, "Captain Muller. I know you don't want to. . But, if you give up, I'll make sure you're treated fairly. "

Muller scoffed, "Like you treated Germany fairly, after World War I?! Were you first, humiliated us with defeat! Then, blamed us for that war? ! Germany suffered because of your blasted Versailles Treaty! We suffered for years! Till Hitler brought Germany back from the ashes! Then. . You do the same thing, all over again!"

Hawkeye simply continued, "It's not our fault, you lost World War II! You're the ones who let a crazy man run your country! And to be fair, we aren't responsible for tearing your country in two! You have old Joe Stalin to blame for that!"

Muller yelled, "Enough! Now. . You are going to let me go. Or, I will shoot this girl."

Angel started to wake up and bit Peters' hand hard enough to draw blood. He yelled in pain, hit her with the gun and tossed her aside. Before he could shoot her. Fang became visible. He ran up behind Peters. He knocked the gun out of his hand. A scuffle broke out.

Peters tried to kick Fang, but Fang was too fast for him. Soon, Fang broke Peters' arm. Using his other arm, he hit Fang in the face. Fang dodged it, and kicked the Nazi in the balls.

Flagg, wasn't too far away. He was close enough. . To shoot 'Peters' in the knee. Peters looked in the distance. Fang punched Peters in the face. Knocking him down.

As Peters was about to get up. .. . He felt pain. His kneecap had been blown off. The pain from the punches, kicks and bite from the Flock. As well. . The serum wears off. His body was incredibly depleted by the serum as a side effect.

Fang knocked Peters out. Flagg and a number of Military Police came down and captured the Nazi

Henry's office.

Flagg declared "With this, we, hopefully, bring the end of the Nazis."

Max, holding up a glass of water(everyone else has wine), "To the end of the Third Reich!" They toast.

Hawkeye, "May it never rise again!"

"Here, here!" Everyone says in unison.

I guess. Censors have been acting up recently.

Flagg is about to haul Peters off.

Peters shouts, "You're all fools! The Führer still lives! He's here! In Korea! I must find him. The Reich shall ri-"

Before he can finish, Flagg's gun is mmissing.

He takes the pistol, and whacks him in the vocal cords(not to kill, just hard enough to temporarily shut him up).

He gives Flagg his gun back, "I hate Nazi speeches"

"Thanks, was about to do that myself. How is Angel doing, last I check she took a pretty nasty hit."

Houlihan, after healing Angel, "She'll be alright. Just needs to lay in her quarters for a few days."

Henry, looking to Radar, "You can keep up, without a secondary clerk, right?"

Before Radar can answer.. Klinger comes up, in a dress. Henry, seeing Klinger, "Oh, no!"

Klinger come in, happy as can be, he seemed grateful that they saved them, but he also apparently he thinks that when he saw their wings that he was just dreaming since he was knocked out by Peters, but thought it would make for another good attempt to get a Section 8 Discharge, and so here we are. "Hello there my guardian angel." He said coming in and hugging Fang.

Fang, "I'm not discharging you, Iggy and Nudge don't have the authority, nor do Gazzy, Angel, Radar, or the father."

Klinger walks up to Max, "The lady of all Angels."

Max, to Flagg, "Corporal Klinger, Lieutenant Flagg. Flagg, Klinger. The intelligence man with no intelligence, meet the man who wants to be crazy, just to go home"

"So I can tell." Flagg said, looking at the full grown man in woman's clothes.

"You should have been there sir, I thought I was going to die at the hands of that evil, evil man, and when I though all hole was lost, these wonderful angels spread their wings and came to my rescue."

Flagg, "Okay, that time I'll forgive, as you had to save your unit. Particularly, Angel. But.. Try to remain desecrate."

Max, "Whatever, Sammy."

"I-I need to go tell Father Mulchay! The Vatican must know of this, THE WORLD MUST KNOW OF THIS!"

"And would someone please go stop him before he makes a bigger ass out of himself?!"

Iggy, "I got him."

Klinger sees Iggy and runs up to him. "Ahh, bless you my beautiful red haired angel!"

Iggy, "Klinger.. You're not crazy. Not fooling anyone." He takes out sedation gas, and puts it over Klinger's mouth, "Just sleep, Klinger. Just sleep"

He is surprised by this, but the sedation gas is quick to knock him out .

Flagg got into his jeep and drove back to Headquarters.

The Flock went into their quarters, checked on Angel.. And went to sleep.

(With Flagg)

The radio in Flagg's jeep came on. A man with a thick Texas accent said, "I see you did SOMETHING right. "

Flagg said, "Yes General. I'm coming back to HQ, now."

The General said, "Alright. Just don't get a big head over this." He whispered, "Dumbass, Flagg."

(That's it for. But .. You'll see that General again. )


	13. Rainbow Bridge

The new man. A surgeon /practicing musician, Captain Spalding sat outside the camp. He sang, "Oh, Tokyo! "

Someone yelled, "SHUT UP!" Spalding ignored him and kept playing his guitar.

He stopped when the wounded came pouring in.

(Operating Room. )

Everyone was getting ready to operate on the wounded soldiers. Burns was in charge of the bus, bringing in the wounded.

The wounded came in. . Fang noticed something, "What the. . This guy only has a piece of shrapnel in his shoulder. A damn tiny one too."

Iggy commented, "This guy only has Trench foot! "

Everyone was saying something about the severity (or, rather, lack there of, ) of the patients' wounds.

Hawkeye went outside to investigate. He saw three wounded men on the bus. Chinese and North Korean soldiers, with open chest wounds. Enemy soldiers, true. But, they had the most severe wounds.

Burns yelled, "Army Triage Regulations! American wounded first! Allies second. Enemy, LAST. "

Max, who could give Burns whatever order she wanted, walked out. She yelled, "Actual human regulations! And, surgical rules! Severity of wounds, before country of origin!" She ordered everyone to ignore Burns ' orders, for the next 24 hours.

Everyone got the more heavily wounded in, first . Plenty of saved soldiers, on both sides of the war.

Radar and the quickly healing Angel, went back to the Clerk's office, and preformed the necessary paperwork for the day . The radio began to Blair out noise

Radar begins to get the transmission. "What in the world."

"What is it?" Angel said, sitting on his bunk.

"It a transmission, but... its in Chinese, quick hand me that book!" He said, pointing to a Chinese to English Dictionary.

Angel hands him the book ,"What's going on, Radar?"

"Were getting a broadcast from the Chinese, hold on." He begins using the Dictionary to translate the message by writing it down on the paper.

The message finished and Radar read it over, his eyes widening a little. "The Chinese want an exchange of POW Patience."

"What? Why?"

"Apparently a few of the GI have injuries that they can't deal with. Oh boy, where is Colonel Blake and Captain Max?"

Angel put her hand to her chin, "I think Colonel Blake is in the Officer's mess, and Max is in our quarters."

"Alright. Get to max and tell her, I'll go get this to the Colonel."

Angel runs over to her quarters. She finds Max and Fang.. Busy at the moment(if you catch my drift).

Angels face goes beat red when she seed them like that, she quickly does her best to stop her telepathy on them and focuses in on the mind of one of one of the other people in the camp before she sees and hears things in their head that would scar her for life, a little trick she picked up very quickly around the time that Max and Fang reached sexual maturity, though she mostly used it on Jeb or Valencia when they were home, the other ones, like Radar or Father Mulcahy has done well as subtitutes.

Max hears the door open and immediately stops her and Fang as she looks over and sees the youngest member of the flock looking in. "Angel!" Max nearly yelled, immediately getting Fang to stop as they get off each other pull the covers over their bodies.

Max, with a blush on her face breaks the ice. "S-So what do you need sweetie?"

"U-Umm, here." She hands her the copy that Radar gave her.

Max and Fang read this note.

Angel, blushing harder, "If.. You want to finish up, after I leave.. Sorry for intruding, but we needed to get this to you."

Max and Fang both look at eachother and sigh heavily at being interrupted, and the fact that this was too urgent to just brush off. "Where are the others? We need to talk this over with them."

Angel, "I think Nudge is with Hot Lips and Ferret Face. Iggy is with Trapper and Hawkeye."

"Alright, You go find Iggy and wait there, me and Fang will get Nudge, Houlihan and Ferret Face."

Angel runs off, to find Iggy in the 'Swamp' with Trapper, Hawkeye and.. Surprisingly, Gazzy and Father Mulchay

Hawkeye sees her and speaks up

Father Mulcahy turns and notices Angel. "What is it child?"

"Here read this." He hands him the note.

Trapper says, "Angel, you're pretty tough girl. Took a hit, and know you're back on your feet."

"What is it father, a letter to Santa? Bit early don't you think kid?" Hawkeye joked, looking a the youngest.

"No, its a transmission from the Chinese. They want a prisoner exchange."

Hawkeye, surprised, "What for?"

"They have 9 injured GI's on their side of the line, and they require more attention than they can handle, so there are giving them to us. Here are the condition: One driver Driver, One vehicle , Doctors and Corpsman only, no weapons, including sidearms, and they meet at a place called 'Rainbow Bridge'." Around this time, the others gather in.

"Rainbow Bridge? Where is that?" Max asked as she and the others walked in.

"Its uhh... Its 50 miles inside Chinese control territory." The Preist said with wide eyes.

"Its a trap!" Frank said almost immediately.

"Absolutely, there Savages." Houlihan concurred.

"Hold on a minute, if there are lives on the line we should at least try." Nudge spoke up in protest.

"I say we should go." Trapper said bluntly. This sparked an argument in the group on what to do.

Henry, everyone looking to him, "Whatever you all decide, is fine with me!" Turns to Max, "Captain?"

"I...I think its worth the risk, but I won't force any of you to go."

"Now wait a minute, Were all doctors, or at least have some competent medical training with one notable exception," He said, taking a jab at Frank. "We have No choice but to go pick them up."

"He's right, its our jobs to take care of the wounded here, regardless of the risk." Fang spoke up agreeing.

Now it was Trappers turn. "Not to mention the Chinese have no real means of treating these guys. They have no antibiotics, no real surgical set up. Their way of treating a fractured bone is amputation."

Frank said sarcastically , "Well, boohoo for the Chinese."

Nudge punched Frank in the stomach

Hawkeye looks over at Nudge. "Are you sure your not a Telepath too?"

Frank was weezing and struggling to get off the ground and was trying to recover from that punch. "All i'm saying is that they can be pretty cleaver when they want to." He gets back in his seat. "I mean look at what all they invented, Gunpowder, Spaghetti, Pigtails."

"Little feet for women, by Louisa May Alcott?"

Iggy, "Hate to side with Frank.. And I DO mean, hate to.. The Chinese'd probably send me off, for being blind."

"Right, because your SO helpless without your sight, that why you can fly, cook, win at poker, defuse bombs, and fight." Max chimed in. "And"And Spaghetti Frank? Really?"

"The Major's point is that they are trying to SUCK us into a situation and set us up for a wipe out." Houlihan spoke up before anything escalated between the two of them any further, wanting to actually get somewhere.

While all of them were arguing, Colonel Blake sent Radar to get a map of Rainbow Bridge, which he was bringing to them right now. "Here is that Map of Rainbow Bridge, sir." He said setting the map out on the table. "There it is in blue."

Houlihan, "Captain Ride.. You are my superior.. But, I am NOT unfamiliar with the Chinese tactics of war."

Frank, knees still shaking from force of the punch, "Her father fought in France, in WWI"

Houlihan continued, "Ambush to one side, we must consider the possibility of capture, torture, brainwashing and yes, even rape."

"Rape a doctor?" Trapper said to Hawkeye sarcastically.

"I'll hit'em with my purse." Hawkeye joked back.

"I understand that there is risk involved, but I also understand this fact. If they aren't lying, then we risk loosing 9 men we could have saved because we were all to scared to go out and get them." Max said with conviction. Still the though of any of her own got to her a little, and if the Chinese find out about them, only God know what will happen.

Angel, sensing Max's fear, goes over to her and holds her hand, giving her a comforting and cute smile.

Max smiles at her

Max sighs, "We'll do it."

They all looked at her after she said that.

Frank and Houlihan, "WHAT?!"

"Were going to go help those men, alone if we have to. Some of yo may be willing to let that rest on your conscious, but i'm not. That being said if you want to help we would greatly appreciate it."

There was a moment of silence before Henry spoke up. "Radar, i'm gonna need a driver and a corpsmen."

Radar pulled out a pad and began to write this down. "Volunteer sir?"

"Thank you Radar I knew I could count on you."

"Great, lets get ready." Nudge said sounding happy they decided to do the right thing.

"Wait..." Houlihan said, sighing heavily. "If we are doing this... Then that means that only Fang and Iggy are going."

"I hate to say this but she is right, they specifically requested that Doctors and Corpsmen and one driver is allowed to be there. "That means that out of this group, only Hawkeye, Trapper, Frank, Iggy, and Fang are eligible to go."

Max declared "Aside from Gazzy's Chaplin duty.. May I ask why?"

Henry responded,

"My guess would be they don;t trust us as much as we don't trust them. But that is not the only reason. Angel is only six, and while she may be a good fighter and a powerful telepathy, She still hasn't completely healed from the incident with Peters."

"As for Nudge, I don't want to risk loosing one of my Nurses, not to mention they said Doctor's and Corpsmen, if we send those two, who are still very young and look that way, it could raise quite a few alarms."

Max sighed, "Well.." Turning to Henry, "Why not me? You can command on your own for a day."

"Contingency, If Frank and Houlihan are right-Not saying they are- But if they are right and they capture you, they have a lot more leverage then they would have."

Max, angry, "Fine." She turns to Frank, "But, if they get hurt.. In ANY sense of the word.. I'll hit you.. And I'll aim FAR lower, than the stomach."

"W-Whahahat? You think i'm going with them? You must be out of your mind."

"Now hold on Frank," Houlihan spoke up. "May I speak with him alone for a moment?"

Max, "The less I have to look him."

Houlihan brings him outside to here no one can hear them and, after a bit of convening and the promise of a citation, and possible a Promotion, he decides to go along with it.

"Colonel Blake, Captain Ride, Major Burns has decided to volunteer for this incredibly dangerous and patriotic mission."

"Is that true?" Asked Henry.

"You heard me." Frank said with confidence.

Scratch the confidence part.

Max, "Alright.." She prepared to leave, "But remember what I said, Frank"

Frank gulps loudly at the reminder of the threat "Your words have been duly noted Ma'am."

Okay. So, they get ready to leave.

Iggy, "Radar, Angel and I worked on the bus all night. We should be able to get there."

"And in terms of supplies, we got a ton of stuff, we could stay on the road for weeks." Trapper said from behind the buss, looking at all of the supplies.

"Suits me, I don't want to open on Broadway until were ready." Hawkeye said before they both go to get on the bus.

While this was going on, Henry was showing Radar on the map which route to take there. Radar looked a bit nervous about this and Angel knew this so she went over to comfort him.

"Don't worry Radar, you'll do fine." Angel says reassuringly.

He smiles at her. "Thanks, I needed that."

Around this time Klinger came up, this time in uniform instead of an evening gown. He goes up to Henry and solutes him. "Corporal Klinger, volunteering for Corpsman duty, sir."

Henry, "Volunteering?"

"Terrific." Hawkeye said sarcastically before getting on the bus.

"Well what the hell, maybe I could get out for bravery, i'm sure not making it for nutsery."

Max shook her head and smiled, at Klinger's remark

"Come on i'll show you the map." Radar said, letting Klinger on.

Angel then turns to Max. "Your worried about them, are you?"

Max, "Yes. I came to wish them good luck." Kneels down, "And, to show Frank I meant what I said"

"And if that doesn't work, I could give him nightmares so bad that they would make him wet the bed." She says with a mischievous grin.

Max, "I guess." She turns to Fang, as he gets ready to leave, "Be careful" she kisses his cheek

"I will." He returns the kiss, this time on the lips.

"Ahh, young love." Hawkeye said peeking his head outside the window.

Henry, walking up to the bus, "Alright. You should be clear. Just.. Make it back."

Gazzy and Mulchay came up

Around the same time, Houlihan and Frank went over to the bus.

"And the prodigal Ferret Face return." Trapper quipped as soon as he could see Frank wearing a helmet this time.

"Quite you!" Frank growled at him before getting on the bus.

"Anyway, we just wanted to wish you all the best." Father Mulcahy said removing his hat, getting ready to prey.

"Right on the ball." Henry said as he said that.

Gazzy and Mulchay pray

Everyone bows their heads.

"Lord, bless this mission of mercy. Protect these brave men, and return them safely with their charges. Amen."

Everyone else yelled, "Amen"

"Thanks Father." said Trapper

"He's really very good, isn't he." said Hawkeye.

"Tops."

"I feel a guilty, we tried to get Pat O'Brian." Hawkeye joked.

"Max, is there something you want to say to Frank before they head off?"

Angel said with a smirk.

Max walks up to Frank, "Remember Ferret Face. I always mean what I say. ALWAYS"

Angel smiled at him and wave at him cutely, but with a menacing undertone that only someone like Frank could pick up on. "U-Understood ma'am."

Nudge then ran up to the bus before it could leave to wish everybody luck.

After that Frank blew his whistle. "MOVE OUT!" He yelled. Almost immediately Radar hit the gas hard causing frank to fall over, but stay in the bus. As they left, Captain Calvin Spalding began to play a song with his guitar.

As he did, someone got annoyed. From a long distance, that someone could he heard. They said, "Shut up!"

He ignored him and kept playing.

A few minutes after the boys had left, Max goes sneaks out to where she can fly without being spotted by the rest of the Base. "Alright, this should be good."

"Should be good or what?" Came a voice behind her. She turned and saw that the voice belonged to the youngest member of the group and right behind her was the motor mouth.

Max, "Any chance, you would believe I'm trying to pull a Klinger?"

"Max, only Klinger can pull a Klinger. Your about to go follow them, are you?"

Max, sighing in defeat, "Yes. Go ahead, tell Henry."

"Actually we wanted to go with you." Nudge said smiling.

Max, "What? Thought Houlihan would be watch in you two?"

"She is, as far as she knows." Angel said with a mischievous grin.

Max, "What'd you do, you crafty little telepath?"

"Sorry, I can't tell you that. Plausible deniability." She said with a finger over her lips, winking with a cute smile.

Max, chuckling, "Not surprised." She spread her wings, "You ready?"

They both smile and spread out their own wings. "Ready." They said in unison.

They take off, Gazzy being the only person who saw.

He smiles. "May God bless all of you."

They follow the bus, and reach the bridge

Max leads them somewhere where they could watch the transaction without risking getting spotted.

They watch, as Hawkeye orders, "You four, stay back." Fang resists the order

"What? No i'm going with you guys." Fang said.

Hawkeye, "Look, you're a fine doctor. But, all NCOs, stay back. We don't know what'll happen."

Frank, "And perhaps you know, what Captain Maximum told me?"

"I can handle myself. Come on trust me a little here."

Iggy, "Yeah.. I think he should." Turned to Radar, "You and Klinger stay back. We're going up there"

Hawkeye thought it over a second. "Alright fine, but if things go south I want the both of you gone faster than a toupee in a hurricane, got it?"

"Got it." They both said in unison.

If you got a better one liner, feel free to use that instead.

With that out of the way, Hawkeye, Trapper, Frank, Iggy and Fang begin walking to meet the Chinese commander.

"Those are Russian Burp guns," Trapper said, commenting on the weapons the soldiers escorting the commander. "they fire thirty rounds a second."

"Thank you Dr. Morale." Hawkeye said sarcastically.

Fang, "Don't worry, I've met Russians before. I know those guns, pretty well."

Frank, "Oh, boy"

"That may be a good thing, it means you know how fast they fire and how far away you need to get from them if they use it." Hawkeye said, reminding Fang of their deal.

"Its a good thing I brought a piece." said Frank.

"A piece of what, Frank?" Trapper asked.

"A gun, ya jerk. I got it stuck in my belt." That got everyone to stop and look at Frank. The Chinese stopped as well. Everyone looked at them and smiled, trying to not look suspicious.

"Tell me I didn't hear that." Iggy said looking nervous now.

Fang, "Unfortunately, you did." He whispers, "But, who knows. Max may hit him later"

"Frank, if they find that gun on you, they're gonna play Mahjongg with our teeth later." Hawkeye said quitey as to not alert the people with guns right across from them.

"Frank, are you out of what is left of your mind?"

"Now, if they start anything, I'll take out the officer - and you disarm the ones with the guns. That should give Fang and Iggy enough time to get out, unless they want to stay and help us fight."

Fang, "If I don't come back.. Max is going hit you so hard.. You wind up in Britain."

Hawkeye chuckles nervously. "Frank, Bite your Mao Tse-tung around them."Hawkeye warned as they got closer to them."Just keep it out of sight."

"I'd like to see my wife again." Trapper said nervously.

"I'd like to see anyone's wife again."

Iggy, "Alright. Let's hope this guy is friendly."

"Don't jinx it."

They made it up to the Chinese.

"Hello, I am Dr. Lin Tan, Army of the People's Republic." He says with a salute.

"Uh, Dr. Pierce." He gives a nervous salute.

"Dr. Burns."

"Dr. McIntyre."

They salute, "Sergeant Fang." "Sergeant Iggy"

"Were all doctors, all five of us, we five, hi." Hawkeye said nervously.

Dr. Tan walks over with a clip board. "Here is a list of your wounded. All require more medical attention than we can provide."

"Thanks, you speak English very well."

"I went to the University of Illinois."

"No kidding? Our commanding went to Illinois."

"There's no need for us to get friendly here." Frank said matter-of-factly, wanting to get this all over with.

Fang, whispering, "Frank.. Don't be stupider, than you already are"

"I'm just saying." He whispered back.

"Uh, Henry Blake. Uh, about 6'3" narrow shoulders, big hips, sort of shaped like a pear?" Hawkeye said, trying to break the tension caused by Frank.

"We better do it." Trapper said after looking over the list.

"If you have observed our conditions, the procedure is as follows: You will bring your vehicle across bridge slowly." He then says something in Chinese, causing one of the soldiers to cock his rifle, which in turn causes Frank to reach for his sidearm, however Trapper and Iggy grabs his arms and stops him.

"Frank!" Trapper nearly yells. The soldiers now look more nervous as they point their weapons at them. "Come on lets have it." He says calmly this time, letting go of his arm.

"Have what?" Frank said shrugging, trying to play innocent.

Iggy, "Don't play innocent. Only Angel and Gazzy can get away with it."

"I-I don't know what your talking about." He says, still trying to play it off as nothing, and not fooling anyone.

"Give it to them frank before they give us a .32 caliber enema." Hawkeye warned.

"What's the matter with you guys? You gonna side with me or the R-E-D?"

"Frank the R-E-D speaks better English than Y-O-U."

"You have violated the agreed conditions!" The Chinese doctor say in outrage. "Your wounded will remain with us!" He orders something in Chinese and the soldiers and him begin to walk away.

Fang, "WAIT!" The Chinese stand still, "I'm not good at negotiation, but listen"

"Listen to what?!" The doctor says, clearly furious. "Is it not enough that your planes harass us day and night? It makes it impossible for me to treat my own people. We make a civilized gesture, and you respond by coming here with a gun ready to shoot us down?"

Iggy, "No, one jackass in a human suit, brought a gun, and hid of from the rest of us"

"Frank, give him the gun. Now." Hawkeye says.

Frank is heasitant but complies. However the gun he pulls out is incredibly tiny, causing the Chinese doctor to burst out laughing. "W-What the hell is that?" He says pointing at the tiny looking pistol.

Fang, also can't resist laughing, "It is ridiculous isn't it?"

"Yeah it comes in a box of Cracker Jacks." Hawkeye said beginning to laugh as well. It was also interesting because he never seen the kid laugh before, which is a good thing, if he is laughing, that means that this was enough to break the ice. "Its also a whistle." After the group has a good laugh, the Dr. Tan called the wounded over while Hawkeye called Radar and Klinger over with the bus.

They load up the bus, and Max smiles from the distance.

She says, "Well.. Let's go, before Margaret blows her top"

"Got it." The two girl said before they moved out.

Meanwhile, Hawkeye walked over to Fang and grabbed his shoulder. "Good workout there kid."

Fang smiled, "Thanks, Hawk" they load up the bus, and head home .

As they got home. . They operated on the wounded.

Henry sighed, "So nice to have everyone back together again.


	14. HQ

(Henry, Burns and the Flock, arecalled to HQ.. And meet some rather interesting characters. I am sorry to those of you, who wanted to wait for these characters. . But I couldn't wait any longer. (PS, the General in this chapter. . Is not the one from the Flagg chapter )).

Henry sat in his office . He phone call . From General Hammond.

The General said, "Henry. . I have heard of six new personnel in your unit. I would like to meet them."

Henry asked, concerned, "Six new personnel, Sir? What do you mean?" If the General was referring to the Flock , Henry knew it wouldn't be good. Mainly. . Because he'd probably transfer them to God only knows where. While, yeah, being in a MASH unit sucked. . But, who knows what Flagg could do to them , if the Flock were sent anywhere. Particularly, without his approval.

The General said, "Don't try lie to me, Henry. I am reading the reports right now. Especially, reports by the CIA man, who sent them to you. They've all got good records. I'd like to meet them. In person." Henry could hear a loud sigh, "Speaking of your personnel records. . It's time to review Major Burns' record, here at headquarters. Bring him with you, when you bring these new personnel."

Henry knew he couldn't beat the General's orders. He said, "Yes, Sir. I'll have them with me, on my trip to HQ tomorrow." Soon, Hammond hung up the phone, causing Henry to do the same. He said, "I just hope you don't fry me for Flagg's doings. "

Before Henry could even get a moment of peace. . Wounded came . As usual .

(OR )

Everyone was getting ready to operate on the wounded .

Max simply asked Radar, "Who was Henry talking to? On the phone? " She knew Henry had been on the phone and. . Never had she seen him so scared.

Radar answered , "Colonel Blake was on the phone, with Brigadier General Charles Hammond. Chief medical officer at HQ . Don't know what about."

This got everyone's attention. General Hammond, was one of the toughest men, ever to be a surgeon. When Hammond, the Chief Medical officer at I-Corps calls. . It's business.

Everyone scrubbed up, and operated on their patients.

Max asked, "So, Henry. . What did the big guy want?" She was always annoyed by the higher ups in the Army.

Margaret yelled , "General Hammond , to you!" Margaret grew up in a military family. She always knew protocol.

Fang yelled, "Hot Lips. . We don't care. He's just another one of the brass. Only difference. . His head isn't as far up his ass. . As yours is." As Hot Lips was insulted. . Fang looked at Henry, "So, oh Fearless leader?"

Henry merely said, "Tomorrow, we have to go to HQ. Hammond wants to meet the six of you." He looked to Burns, "And, I've been ordered to bring him with us. The General said it's time to review Major Burns' record."

Burns suddenly became very nervous. His record, he would hope was clean. . But, he probably wouldn't have such luck.

Henry said, "So. . We'll be at HQ for 48 hours. In those 48 hours. Major Houlihan is in command."

Margaret smiled under her surgical mask. She said, "Command accepted, Colonel."

Everyone sighed. Iggy finished up with his patient, "Klinger!" Klinger came in the OR, "Get this man to Post-Op." As Klinger hauled the patient away, Iggy took off his gloves. He walked over to Nudge, and gently squeezed her behind.

Henry sighed, "Can't go one day, without you four shacking up!" He finished his patient. He merely walked into the Post-Op, and cleaned up.

Hawkeye commented, "A whole two days with Margret in charge." He sarcastically declared, "I wonder what could go wrong."

(Next day.)

The Flock all got into a large truck, with Henry and Burns in the front seat. The drive to HQ wasn't a short one. . But, they all got a quick nap in , on the way .

When they arrived. . Hammond thought it was a joke. Six children, on a military base?

Hammond brought Henry to a corner. He said, "Henry, what the hell is this?! Children. In the Army?!"

Henry yelled back, "General. With all due respect, the CIA didn't exactly give me a choice. So, unti either their time of service is up. . Or, the CIA backs down. . We're stuck with them."

Hammond knew how much power the CIA had (and, like everyone else, he felt it was too much power.) He said, "Alright. The six of you, come into my office. Henry, Burns, go do. . Whatever you want."

Frank went off to do. . Whatever it is Franks do.

Henry went off to the bar.

Hammond sat down, the six children sitting across from him. He said, "So. . Which of you, is Corporal Angel Ride?"

Angel stood up, on the General's desk. She said, "I am, Sir. Corporal Angel Ride, secondary Company Clerk of the 4077 MASH unit."

Hammond was incredibly surprised. By the girl's height suggested she was no older than. . Possibly 8. Maybe even younger.

He said, "Well. . I here heard reports about you, from Corporal O'Riley. I think you know him as Radar." He held up the reports, "All positive reports. He says , you're a pretty tough girl, good head on your shoulders. Possibly, an even more skilled Clerk than he is. Hard to believe someone so young, can handle such a job."

Angel giggled, and shrugged, "All it takes is time. . And a little help from Radar. . And I can do anything, for the unit." Angel was always eager to help. Particularly, since it meant she got to spend a little time with Radar and her Flock.

Hammond simply said, liking the girl's statement, "Alright. On to Corporal Gazzy Mulcahy-Ride?" He looked to the young boy, "Two surnames?"

Gazzy said, "Well, Angel is my sister. As well, everyone else in our unit is my family. But. . I never knew my biological father and. . My adoptive father, I rarely get to talk to. In regards to the big stuff, anyway." He smiled, "Father Mulcahy is. . Kind of like.. Well, my father."

Hammond understood the boy's words. He looked at the reports, "Apparently, Father Mulcahy feels the same way about you. He has all the positive reports. You're good." This boy, was indeed Angel's brother. Same facial structure. Same blond hair and blue eyes. But. . He was about only two years older. He said, "Someone so young. . Being the assistant Chaplin. It's really amazing."

Gazzy said nothing. He merely smiled, nodded and hugged his sister.

Hammond turned to Nudge, "Reports about you from Ol' Hot Lips. Says you're a damn fine nurse . Not much else. . But it's Hot Lips Houlihan. Screw her. "

Nudge merely giggled.

Hammond said , "Sergeant Iggy. ." He shrugged, "Nothing bad. Plenty of complaints from that useless moron Burns. But, noting bad. You're good enough." He turned to Fang, "Same for you. Pierce seems to like you. . And, since you adopted his surname. . I can see you like him."

Fang and Iggy each smiled, and hugged their respective girlfriends.

Hammond said, "Finally. . Captain Max Ride." He read the reports, "Each of the six of you, has complaints about you, from Burns. But, who cares?" He read the reports on Max, from Henry, "All look pretty good. Nice work, Captain." He asks, "So.. What brought you kids to Korea? "

(Meanwhile, at the officers bar).

Henry walked into the bar, seeing two other officers already there. One was a short man, with gray hair and blue eyes. He had Silver Eagles on his shoulders. That meant. . He was a Colonel. A full Colonel. One rank higher than Henry.

The other officer was a tall man, with some hair (what little he had was brown) and blue eyes. He wasn't exactly slim. . But, neither was he entirely overweight. He had golden oak leaveson his shoulders. He was a Major. One rank below Henry.

Henry sat down, next to the Colonel. Hoping the higher officer wouldn't notice him. However. . He did.

The Colonel walked over to him. He asked, "What's your name, Son?" Henry became nervous.

Henry stammered, but gave in, "My name is. . Blake. Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake."

The Colonel said, smiling, "Ah. The commanding officer of the 4077. The most Successful MASH in all Korea." He extended his hand, "I'm Colonel Sherman Potter. Good to meet you, Henry."

The Major in the room walked over to them, "Sorry , sirs but. . Is it wise to use first names? " He took another drink, "After all. . It isn't part of protocol."

Potter said, "Much as I know we have to follow protocol. . But, we must also be human."

Henry said, smiling, "Yes. In fact, uh. . You may not like this but .. I am a friend first, commanding officer second . "

Potter's smile vanished. He simply said, "Well. . I guess that's better than nothing. But, if you do that. . Those under your command might think they're above the rules. We can't permit that, Henry."

Winchester merely said, "Agreed. Granted, I myself need to put the guide book down every day. But, we can't permit anyone to act like they're above protocol ."

Henry merely said, "Well, I'm not good with protocol. Before becoming a surgeon, I was the athletic trainer for the University of Illinois, football team! Then, I attended my years at medical school. Had a nice little private practice, back in Bloomington, Illinois. Then. . Got drafted. I have no idea . What I'm supposed to do. So, I'm sorry. But, I can't do that."

As Potter and Winchester sat there. . They listened to Henry speak. They all understood .

Winchester said, "You're a good man, Colonel Blake. " He shook his head, "Uh. . Henry. I'll agree you're not a military man. Should you need me , Colonel. . Just call."

Potter said, "Should anything happen to you, Henry. . I'll take your place, as Commanding officer of the 4077 MASH. "

Henry merely said, "Thank you, Sherman." He was incredibly grateful.

A soldier came in, "Uh, Major Winchester. . We could use your help. We're having trouble with some other Major."

Winchester got up and walked out, "If you gentlemen will excuse me."

The two Colonels. . Continued to drink.

(Later).

Burns was trying to get some soldiers to stop gambling. Winchester came in, behind Burns. Winchester said, "Who are you?"

Burns said, not even turning around, "Major Burns! That's who I am! "

Winchester realized, "Major Frank Burns? !"

Burns yelled, "Yes!" He turned around. . Seeing Winchester (a man twice Burns size) .. and looked afraid.

Winchester said, grabbing Burns by his shoulders , "Listen to me, you overgrown piece of human waste! If I ever see you again, I will make sure that you. . Get a broken. . EVERYTHING."

Burns merely said, "Yes , Sir! " He ran away.

Suddenly, the PA came on. The announcer said, "All surgical personnel! INCOMING wounded! All the wounded that can be brought to HQ, is now incoming!"

Everyone scrambled for surgery. The first (and hopefully, last) time surgery would have to be performed at HQ.

Winchester ,Potter and Henry watched each other as they preformed surgery. They all marveled at each other's skills. Then. . The saw the Flock, do their respective jobs. . And were amazed at how well they did it.

Then. . Everyone saw Burns lack of skill in surgery.

They manged to save each patient (except. . Winchester had to take over all of Burns patients.)

Hammond ordered, "Henry. . Those six are among your best surgeons, nurses ,Chaplin and Clerk. Never lose them. Not even to me. The seven of you, go back to your unit. Burns will make his own way back."

They all headed back to camp. . Burns staying behind. . To Review his record.

(All for now.


	15. Big Mac and R&R

(One of my favorite episodes. . And the Flock have to miss out).

The 4077 had wounded flooding in . Radar and Angel at their desk as usual. (They couldn't find any other desk, for Angel. So, she just shared one with Radar. As they did the paperwork together. . The phone rang . Radar answered, "4077 MASH, Corporal O'Riley speaking." He took down notes, as the man on the other end spoke.

Angel watched in disappointment . She didn't know what it was. After a long time, she lost her ability to read Radar's mind. She could read everyone else's mind, perfectly. But. . Only twice has she been able to read Radar's mind. She had no idea why. She assumed it was due to the fight with Peters/Muller. The hit on her head was pretty hard

Radar soon had a look of shock on his face. He said, "Yes, Sir! Absolutely Sir! I'll let him know, right away, Sir!"

As he was about to walk out, Angel asked, "What's going on?! Radar only did something like this. . When something damn important was going on.

Radar soon ran all the way to OR. Angel grabbed her dog, and followed him.

They ran over to the OR.. To Henry's table. Radar whispered something to Henry, and Henry sped out of the OR, leaving Captain Spalding to finish up on the patient.

Angel walked into the room, holding a surgical mask to her face. Max asked her, after finishing a patient, "What was that about?" She'd never known Henry to just bolt out of the OR, before finishing a patient. If he did that.. It'd have to be something big.

Angel said, "I don't know. Radar got a phone fall from HQ. and ran out of the office into the OR. Whatever it is.. It's big." She looked to her dog, and gave him a signal. He took the signal, and swiftly followed the commanding officer, into the Clerk's office. He stuck his head out the door, and listened to what they were saying.

Henry said, his ear to the phone, "Okay.. The 19th, Colonel? That's uh.. Between the 18th and the 20th, right sir?" The Colonel he spoke to, said something else. Then, Henry said, "Okay, see you then, Colonel." He hung up the phone.

Total looked over, hoping he'd be able to see what the paper said. However.. It was too far away.

Henry looked at Radar, a look of excitement on his face. The weary CO said, "He's coming! The big monkey. The biggest, and monkiest of them all! General Douglas MacArthur is coming here!"

Radar gasped. Total, being a dog.. And, neither really knowing nor caring who MacArthur was.. Simply cocked his head, in confusion.

Radar said, "Him?! Here?!" Radar was surprised. He'd never met anyone as important as MacArthur. Knowing that he was coming.. Was an amazing surprise.

Henry said, "He's coming, to reward us. We have the highest efficiency rating, of any medical unit in Korea. That's North, South, East or West! We're the MASH that is the best!"

Radar, thinking it was some kind of football chant, yelled, "Rah, rah!"

Total merely rolled his eyes. To him.. It was obvious they'd get that reward. He may not have known much about the Army.. And didn't know, about any other medical units in Korea.. But, he knew.. This unit had the best doctors and nurses, that he'd ever known.

Total ran back into the OR, seeing that they'd finished up the last patient. Max saw the dog and asked him, "So.. What's the news?"

Total replied, "Well.. Some big General is coming, and Henry and Radar seem to be excited about it." He didn't really know, not care. He just knew, what he had to do.. And to him, long as he was with his six owners.. That was all that mattered.

Henry walked into the room, seeing the Flock and his medical staff. He sat down, as everyone else scrubbed. He said, "Alright, ladies and gents.. Did you know.. We have been deemed, the most efficient medical unit.. In all of Korea?"

No one seemed surprised. They weren't exactly celebrating, but it wasn't too bad either.

Henry said, "Because of that.. General Douglas A. MacArthur, supreme commander of all UN forces in Asia.. Is coming here!"

Burns and Houlihan, being.. A little overly devoted to the Army, were ecstatic. Hawkeye and Trapper, being the Army-hating draftees that they were.. Saw this as an opportunity. An opportunity, to show ol' Big Mac.. Who they really are.. And, hopefully, get out of the Army.

The Flock, simply didn't care. MacArthur was the head honcho. Taking order, only from President Harry 'Dumbass' Truman. Now.. He was another opportunity, to find a way home. MacArthur was a carrer man, in the Army. So... Six children, and a talking dog would no doubt surprise him.

Henry saw this. And knew what the Flock were planning. He already had a solution. He said, "It's probably best that.. You guys take some R&R."

The Flock weren't against certain bribes. Particularly, if it meant some time to relax. They all looked to each other.l then, at Henry. They said, almost in perfect unison, "We're listening."

Henry looked to everyone else in the room. They all knew MacArthur would question what six children and their dog, were doing on an Army base. And if they told him if was CIA business.. MacArthur, who questioned the CIA's very purpose.. Would flip out. So.. They needed to think of something.

Henry said, "Now.. I can't do this, for anyone else.. And, I never intend to give it again.." He sighed, "Seven days.. In Tokyo. How does that sound?"

They were amazed. Now.. Angel had conned Henry, into giving that before.. But, this was the first time he'd given it to anyone willingly. So.. They thought about, telepathically communicating, via Angel. They thought about what all they could do in Tokyo. They agreed.

(Tokyo, next day.)

Angel and Gazzy spent the day, walking around the city with Total. They particularly enjoyed the Tokyo zoo.

Angel liked how much Japan had changed from World War II. From what she knew Japan used to be an enemy of America,Britain and (to a smaller extent).. Her and Gazzy's birth country, France. However.. everyone seemed so friendly. (And.. the Japanese had a good chunk of French culture all over Tokyo.). She was always happy with Flock around. But, she had to admit.. It wasn't as fun without Radar. Radar was her friend. She liked hanging around him. But, time away from the stress of being a clerk.. (She liked the job, but it did get quite stressful at times.) It was nice.

Gazzy enjoyed spending time with Angel. They've always been close. Now, they were walking through Japan together. (And... Tokyo had a very nice Cathedral, not far from their hotel.). He was happy he was with his family.. But, he had to admit.. Nowhere in the Pacific was the same, without Father Mulcahy. The priest was always fun to have around and Gazzy enjoyed learning under him. He could liven up any place.

as for the two couples among the Flock.. They were back, in their rooms in the hotel.. Having their own kind of fun.

(With Nudge and Iggy)

Nudge laid in the bed, of her and Iggy's hotel room, next to her blind boyfriend. She whispered, "Oh.. What the hands of a blind man can do for you." She looked outside, at the beautiful city of Tokyo. She thought about how much, the people she loved would enjoy Tokyo. She also thought about when they paid a visit to the local hospital. The nurses, were not up to Margaret's standards.

She then looked to her lover, "That was amazing." She said that every time they 'had fun.' But she always meant it. She laid her head on his chest, "I love you."

Iggy put his arm around her waist, "I love you too." He kissed her and fell asleep. He was enjoying their stay in Tokyo.

Nudge smiled, and soon fell asleep, on top of him.

(With Max and Fang.)

Max was already asleep. She and Fang wore each other out, from all the 'fun.' Her last thought before she fell asleep, was how much she loved him. And, that they would DEFINITELY be coming back to Tokyo, some time.

Fang thought, as Max slept on top of him, 'If only this could last forever.' He was glad they got seven days. He kissed the woman he loved, wrapped his arms around her and fell asleep.

The Flock spent their seven days.. Dividing time. Half their time, spent with each other (reading together, the spa, swimming, etc). The other half, spent in their rooms.

Meanwhile, their pet.. After only two of the seven days.. Could speak perfect Japanese.

(Meanwhile, 4077.)

Everyone had.. Mixed reactions, to the news of MacArthur's visit. Burns had ordered all the enlisted he could, to put up a banner underneath the camp's gigantic wooden signpost. It now said, "4077.. Welcome, General MacArthur. "

Burns took Margaret to the VIP tent, where they'd hoped MacArthur would be staying. It was decorated, with red white and blue lamp shades, another banner welcoming MacArthur.. And a gigantic portrait of the General infront of the bed. Beside it, was a framed picture of President Truman.

Margaret said, looking at the inside of the tent, "Oh, Frank! It's beautiful!" She looked to the portait, "He's so tall. Strong, commanding..." She looked at the portrait with respect.

Burns asked, looking at Truman's picture, "Who's that little guy?"

Margaret answered, "President Truman."

Burns laughed, "Well.. That's about the size of it." Most people in the Army, respected MacArthur more than Truman. MacArthur was their supreme commander. He was with them, on the battlefield.. While, Truman.. Was on the other side of the world.

Margaret, still looking at MacArthur's portrait, "Please, Frank, don'f laugh in here." She soon smiled, "You know.. The General and I are practically family.. He and my father, fought the Hucks together in WWII." As Burns looked confused, she said, "The Hucks. The Rebellious native tribe, who sided with the Japanese." She let out sigh, "Just thinking about him, gets me so hot."

Burns grabbed her, "Oh, Margaret!"

Houlihan replied, "Oh, Doug!" They fell on to his bed.

(In OR).

Hawkeye and Trapper were trying to do their jobs as surgeons. Trapper said, finishing a patient, "Can you believe this? First, my 'star pupil' goes off to Tokyo, and now Burns has gone out of what's left of his mind, getting ready for MacArthur." Trapper didn't like having to work without Iggy around. Nor did he like, how over the top Burns was going in preparing for the visit. Only things that kept him going.. Were that he still had Hawkeye, and this whole mess would be over soon.

Hawkeye honestly couldn't care less, about MacArthur's visit. He just wanted to fix this patient, and go back to his quarters. He yelled, "Orderly!"

A nurse told him, "No orderlies around, Doctor. Major Houlihan ordered them all go help in the kitchen, for MacArthur's meal."

Hawkeye yelled in frustration, "Are we a hospital or a hotel for visiting demigods?!"

After putting their wounded into Post-Op.. They walked by their tent, and saw Burns with a medical journal.. Over a flame. Trapper took it from him. He asked, "What are you doing?"

Burns replied, "Burning books."

Hawkeye sarcastically asked, "Any reason why, Doctor Hitler?"

Burns replied, "General of the Army, General Douglas MacArthur, your supreme commander, is coming here. I will NOT have any non-military books, in my quarters!"

Trapper, knowing how valuable medical journals are, kicked Burns in his unmentionables.

No one ever bothered to ask.. And, Burns lost memory of the kick, after it happened.

(On the day of MacArthur's visit)..

They rehearsed for MacArthur's visit (Dressing Radar up as MacArthur). Hawkeye and Trapper, as usual came unshaved and as unmilitary as possible. Hawkeye dressed only in his red robe, and Trapper wearing sunglasses and drinking Gin.

Henry 'introduced MacArthur' to his surgeons.

Hawkeye said, "Captain Soddem and Captain Gamora." He pointed to Trapper, "He's Gamora."

Burns decided to show a picture album.. Only to discover it had been filled with certain.. Explicit photos of him and Margaret.

the PA system came on, "ATTENTION! GENERAL MACARTHUR HAS JUST PASSED CHECKPOINT ABLE! HE'LL BE HERE IN SECONDS!"

Everyone saluted as MacArthur's Jeep drove up.. Only for him to pass them, and pay no attention. The only thing he did pay attention to.. Was Klinger, who was dressed as the Statue of Liberty. MacArthur saluted him.

(Seven days later)..

The Flock packed up, having enjoyed their seven days.. (Except, Max was so hungover she had to steal MacArthur's sunglasses).. They got on their plane, and flew off back to Korea.. then, drove in a jeep back to the 4077.. Passing MacArthur's jeep on the way.

Also on the way.. They saw Corporal Klinger, dressed as the Statue of Liberty. Max asked her boyfriend, "Is that Klinger, dressed as Lady Liberty.. Or am I just REALLY hungover?"

Fang replied, "No.. That IS Klinger. And he IS dressed as Lady Liberty."


	16. Holiday chapter

(December, 1950. MASH 4077.)

Angel had fallen asleep at her desk again. It had been a long night. Writing letters to everyone's families. Working with the Koreans, to store presents.. It was a long night.. But, it was worth it. She had a big surprise, for most of the unit. Before she could once again, go over her plan in her head.. She decided to head back to her quarters, tip-toeing out, so she didn't wake Radar.

(Flock's tent.)

Max and Nudge woke up, on top of their respective boyfriends. It had been a long, wonderful night for them. With the little ones, sharing quarters with their respective mentors.. They could go, as long as they wanted. and they did. After a few "morning rituals" they all decided if was time to get up.

They all got up, and got into uniform. Soon Angel came in, a smile on her face. She said, "Just another few days." She hugged her four older comrades, and laid some gifts on her bunk.

They all knew what she had in mind. They eventually told Gazzy and Father Mulcahy.

(Later).

This was an odd December day.. For the first time, in God knows how long.. Not even a single wounded person, came into camp.

A celebration took hold, for all the winter holidays. Not only was everyone in camp there.. (Minus Burns, who'd been called to Headquarters.) But as were local Koreans. Not only the South Korean Army.. But, also Korean refugees, the local villagers, and their families. If was a divine celebration.

Colonel Blake (incredibly unwillingly) had dressed up as Santa, for the local children. He listened to everything they told him, (and had a translator nearby, for kids who couldn't speak English.)

Angel handed out gifts, to the Koreans. However, they were not things that American children get for winter holidays.. They were things look food.. clothes.. Supplies, that children could give to their families.. Angel knew the Korean children didn't want things like baseball bats or ballerina clothes. They just wanted, food, warmth.. Love and peace. She couldn't give them the last two.. But, she could get close. She and the local Koreans, were well acquainted with each other.

After the Koreans left.. Everyone in their unit got a gift from Angel.

Hawkeye got a copy of his medical degree. His proudest achievement, no matter where he was in the world..Would hang on his wall. Years spent, in a medical school.. Memories of home, began to flood his mind.. He looked to Angel, tearing up, "Thanks, kid."

Angel smiled, "All it took, was a letter to your father. He was happy to send it." She wanted to make Hawkeye happy. And, almost no one knew Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, better than his father.

Trapper's gift came from his wife. A family picture. A picture of his wife, and his two daughters.. Lined up together, with a sign that said "Wish you were here." To which Trapper whispered, "So do I." He looked to Angel, and hugged her. He said, "Thanks, Frenchie."

Angel smiled, "Qui." Nothing made Trapper happy, like his family.

Margaret got an actual pillow. One meant for comfort.. And, a gift.. A picture of her father, saluting her. It made her proud. She had no words. She just expressed her gratitude.

Radar got a scarf from home. Father Mulcahy got new boxing gloves.. Klinger, received a new dress from his uncle. (Klinger's uncle, got out of WWI, by wearing women's clothing. Klinger figured, he'd get out of the Army, the same way.)

Henry Blake, got the most meaningful gift of all.. A family portrait. His wife, Loraine, their dog, and their three children. They all smiled. A note from Loraine was attached. Henry simply smiled, teared up.. and hugged Angel, almost to death.

After everyone else.. the Flock got gifts. All from Max's mother. Nudge got a record player, and a few new records. Gazzy got his old bomb kit, and a copy of the Bible (a newer one, than what Father Mulcahy had in stock.). Iggy got a new clock.. A detonator, for his and Gazzy's new bomb.. to put into Burns' shorts. Fang got new, all black attire.. And a fresh new surgical clamp from the states. Max.. Got the greatest gift of all.. A picture, of her family, when they were younger. And a letter from each of Max's relatives.

Jeb (Max's father) also sent the Flock a gift.. Money. Not to say they didn't like it.. It just wasn't as heartwarming, as the other gifts.

Everyone got gifts.. Except Angel herself. She said, "Well.. I have the greatest gift of all." she held out her arms, "My family." she put a picture on her desk. A picture of the Flock, and their family in the States. Then, turned to both her Flock, and the 4077, "My whole family."

Everyone gave a great big group hug. And.. Took a picture.. The large portrait of them all.. Was copied, and sent to their families. It read, "Happy Holidays, from the 4077."


	17. Abyssinia, Henry

(MASH 4077. Operating Room)

It seemed like any other day. An inflow of wounded. Operating on patient after patient. Some patients, being POWs. However, today.. Trapper decided to lead them in a game of "Name that tune."

Frank yelled, "Shut up, will ya?! Shut up!"

Henry yelled, "YOU SHUT UP FRANK! Everyone in this mad house, just shut up!"

"We're a little late folks so good night from 'Name that tune'." Hawkeye said before asking for a clamp.

Just then Radar comes in with a Medical mask and a letter.

Angel saw her partner , "What's up, Radar?"

"I got some good new for the Colonal, where is his table?"

She pointed to the table where Henry, Max, Iggy and Trapper were working

goes over to the table. "Colonal?"

"Yo." Henry says, trying to focus on the patient.

"Do you want to know what I found in the mail?"

"Uhh, now that's a tough one. Hum a few bars will you Radar?"

"You're going home."

Henry stops and looks up, "I'm going home?" He asks, not fully believing he heard that.

"You got all your points," Radar explains. "their discharging you."

"Discharged?"

"To Tokyo, San Francisco, then home."

"I'm going home, i'm discharged." He said, sound happier with every word. "I'm going home!" He exclaimed loud enough for everyone to hear.

The Flock all cheered for their commanding officer. Max, "Good work, Henry!"

There was a parade of congratulations before Father Mulcahy leads the group in the song 'O Shepherd'.

Fang said, "Good thing, Henry can go home."

Max, "Bad thing?"

Iggy, "We have to listen to Frank, now "

"Says who?" Nudge asked. "Last I checked, Max was the second in command."

, "Yeah. But, Frank will still be able to make big decisions."

"Man, this sucks. I mean we know how bad stupid he is, right? I mean he brought a GUN to a peaceful exchange and nearly got those goes killed! I mean seriously who does that. Not to mention he is a complete and total jerk. Did you know that-" Nudge ranted, using her motor mouth to her advantage.

"We get it! Shut up!" Iggy nearly yelled out of frustration, cutting off her rant.

"Is there anything we can do about this?" Angel asked.

"Not unless Max get a promotion in the next few days." Fang said.

Max sighed , "Luckily, he has to run decision by me. Due to our respective positions, we'll have to agree. So, if I don't agree with him.."

Fang, "He can't get what he wants"

"Still, I hate to say it, but that may prove more harmful to the unit than not." Angel said thinking about this pragmatically.

"What do you mean?" Nudge asked curiously.

"Well think about it, when have Max and Ferret Face actually agreed on anything?"

Max smirked under her mask, "Who knows." She chuckled, "Maybe Truman will look over the records, and let Hawkeye command"

"One can only hope." Fang said with a smirk under his own mask.

Angel and Radar were with Henry in his office.

Angel, "So.. this is..

"Yeah, this is it. Colonal Blake should be back to help him pack. Oh, Angel, can I get your opinion on something?"

Angel , "Sure"

"I, uh, I made Colonal Blake a gift, you know to kind of congratulate him and to say thank you, and I wanted to see if you think he would like it." He pulls out a key chain with a Winchester round on it and on that is Henry's name and unit. "You know, since he says he eeps losing his keys, do you think he'll like it?"

Angel , "I think so." She looked at her own gift for Henry

"Oh, you got him a gift as well?"

Angel , "Yeah. It's a.." She showed him. A picture of everyone together. She asked, "Think it's good? I took the picture a month ago"

Radar smiles. "I think he'll love it."

They present the gifts to Henry

"Guys, I-I don't know what to say, these are great gifts." Henry says, a little misty eyed.

"Thank you sir."

Angel, "Just.. wanted to give you something." She hugged him, "I never knew my biological dad. And, with my adoptive parents back in the states.."

Henry hugged her back

"Thank you, both of you." He says smiling sadly at the both of them, he was glad to go home, but damn if wasn't gonna miss these guys.

Max, Fang, Angel and Gazzy, along with Iggy, Trapper, Radar and Hawkeye, took Henry out. Celebrating his discharge

didn't take too long for alcohol to be broken out, much to Max's protest, among the group, though Angel and Gazzy were strictly forbidden from partaking in any drinking at all.

Iggy , "Max.. Chances are, whether we drink or not, we're all going to end up.." He laughed, "Busy, tonight."

Max, "I'm just hoping you don't turn into Trapper by the end of the night"

It all started with a toast by Hawkeye. "Let us toast to Colonel Henry, a good leader and an even better human being."

They all toast. Iggy, "You see? Haven't even had a sip yet."

After a few minutes, most of them were tipsy, but the Flock, due to their avian DNA were well toasted.

The exceptions to this were Gazzy and Angel. Gazzy was more than okay with it, due to his Chaplin training. Angel found it annoying, but tolerable, especially as she watched almost everyone around her act like a bunch of drunken idiots which was very entertaining. The only thing she regretted was not bringing a camera.

Max , "You know.. With Henry leaving.. Makes me think, how lucky I am to have you guys."

Fang, leaning for a kiss, "We're lucky to have you too"

Henry goes to poor more booze into his cup only to find is none left in the bottle. "Oopsie, all gone. Here i gue-i'll gue- i'll get some more." He calls for more alcohol.

The woman comes in. "Six bucks, tax included. This resulted in everyone trying to pay for it.

Be a of this. Angel started chuckling more.

Max, "Well.. I think we ought to finish up here and.. send Henry off"

Henry gets 'drummed' out of the army

"Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake?" Hawkeye begins with the drumming.

"Yo."

"By virtue of the power of the authority vested in me - by Rosey's Bar and Grill and Pro Station."

"Mm-hmm."

"And in the presence of those present who have faithfully served - under your barely distinguishable command."

"Mm-hmm."

"I hereby disrupt you of all military rank."

"Okay."

"Captain McIntyre, Captain Ride, would you do the dishonors, please?"

Max, "Henry. As of know, you shall be known as Mister Doctor Henry Blake."

Trapper, "Enjoy it as you will"

They take off some things on his uniform, before giving him a box. A box with a new suit in it.

Max, "Be sure to enjoy civilian life. You deserve it, Henry"

"Thank you all of you." Around this time another one of the women comes in with a camera.

"Alright, everyone gather up." They all gather up for a picture.

They all take a picture together.

Next day..

Frank hassling radar to play assembly, though when he is shown not to be able to, he just decides to blow his whistle and wake everyone up himself.

Everyone comes out to see the Colonel off.

"Here comes Colonel Blake." Radar says before Henry comes out in his new suit.

Henry, "Frank, stuff that whistle somewhere"

"Uh, does the Colonel wish to review his troops?" Frank said caught a little off guard by this.

"No I just want to say goodbye."

"Oh, okay." Frank said meekly.

"Your chopper's about 10 miles out, sir." Said Radar

"Thank you, Radar." Henry said before walking over to Max. "So, how do you feel about us now?"

Max smiles, "I still think that Frank's an a**. But. You're all like family now." She hugged him, "You're.. like s second dad."

He hugs her back. "And your like another daughter, I'm glad I took you on as my second in command."

He walks over to Fang

"You sure as hell came a long way from that punk kid I meet in the beginning."

Fang, "Yeah.." tries to look as cool as usual.

Henry roles his eyes. "Alright, alright, come om, bring it in Mr. Macho Man." He pulls him into a hug.

Fang said, "Yeah. Alright." He felt like saying this, he didn't know why, "Bye.. Dad"

Henry nodded proudly at him. "Bye son." He broke the hug and moved on to Iggy. "You know, out of all the blind guys I have meet and ever will meet, I can safely say I will never meet one that as big a pain in the ass as you, but at the same time I will also never meet one as fun and interesting as you either."

Iggy chuckled, "And of all the authority I've met.. None were as good hearted as you." They hugged, "Just.. don't be too much on the other blind people in the world"

"Keep yourself out of too much trouble, and you got yourself a deal."

Iggy smiled, "Yes, Sir."

With that he moved on to Nudge, who was doing her best not to cry.

Nudge started to cry , "Henry" she said, breaking out in tears

"I know sweetie. Come here." He invited her in for a hug.

They hugged

Nudge kept crying. Nudge, "Swear you'll write?"

"Tell you want, i'll do you one better. When I get home, the first thing i'm sending is a package with a letter and the best clothes I can find for you. Sound good?

Nudge said, "Okay." She began to wipe her tears

"Its a promise then." Henry said, hugging her a little tighter. "Try not to give Houlihan too much trouble now, ya hear?"

Nudge smiled through her tears, "Yes sir."

He gets down on one knee. "You keep up the good work with Father Mulcahy, and you'll become a great Chaplin yet you hear?

Gazzy smiled , "Yes sir." Another hug, "May the Lord bless you and your trip home"

"Amen." He said hugging back.

He tells Mulchay, "Take care of him, Father"

"I will, sir." He said before Radar goes over to him.

"Chopper will be here in about two minutes sir."

"Oh, thanks Radar." He turns to the others. "Well, so long everybody. So long and, uh, good luck." As he was walking off, Hawkeye went up to him and whispered something in his ear. "You think I should?"

"Why Not" Hawkeye answered. After that he goes over to Houlihan and gives her a big kiss to which everyone cheers. He then starts going over to the Chopper.

Radar and Angel will be the last ones to see him off nd that will be at the chopper right before he gets on.

The chopper descends, carrying wounded.

Hawkeye, "Let us handle this, Henry! Your job's done here!"

Henry is about to get on the chopper when he sees Radar and Angel, both saluting him. He goes over and salutes the both of them back. "You two better behave yourselves or i'm gonna come back and kick your butts you hear?"

They salute. Then hug.

Angel says, feeling the need to speak French, "Au Revoir, Papa"

He smiles. "Au Revoir, kiddo." He then gives her a kiss on the forehead before he has to head back to the chopper.

He boards the chopper, and everyone watches, as he leaves

Everybody waves as he leaves the base. After all the times they had together they were gonna miss him dearly.

(Later)

OR. Max, Fang and Hawkeye are working on patient. Max, "Someone give me more light"

Fang adjust the light.

Suddenly Radar came in, looking like he was just shot.

"Radar, put a mask on." Said Fang, a bit annoyed he wasn't wearing a mask around the OR.

"If its my discharge give it to me straight, I can take it." Hawkeye joked before returning to surgery.

Angel's eyes widened as she read his mind, and she began to tear up. "No..." She ran up to Max, hugging her tightly and crying her eyes out.

Max got kneeled down and hugged her, "Angel, what's wrong?" She looked at her patient, "Someone finish up"

"Got it." Hawkeye said before taking over for a second to finish up the patient.

Angel continued to cry as Radar began to speak.

"I have a message..." He stopped to regain his composure, after taking a deep breath, he continued. "Lt. Col. Henry Blake's plane was shot down over the Sea of Japan... it spun in. There were no survivors."

Max understood now, why Angel was crying

Angel was still crying, and now Nudge and even Houlihan were crying softly. Eventually though the surgeons get back to work, but this time, in near complete silence.


	18. Welcome to Korea part 1

(Here, we meet Henry's replacement.. And Trapper's)

(Two weeks after the death of Henry Blake.)

It was early in the morning at the 4077, Corporal Walter O'Reilly A.K.A Radar, was sleeping soundly in his bed until a certain Major decided to wake him up for the morning Roll call, that in turn wakes up A certain winged girl, who feel asleep at the desk of the Former commander of the unit.

Max groans as she wakes up to hear Frank waking Radar up and goes out to confront them.

Max , walked out (as Hawkeye does) in only a robe.

She said, "Major.. " Steals his whistle.. Snaps it in half

Frank looks shocked and angry.

Radar does his best to keep his laughter to himself.

Frank takes a minute to recompose himself before giving a smarmy smile. "Captain Ride, its good to see you this early in the morning."

Max looked at him, incredibly bored, "Good to see your marriage cheating, Ferret Face too, Frank." Hands him his whistle pieces, "Next time.. Sound the damn alarm, or something"

Burns' eye twitches as he takes the pieces. He was trying to get on her good side, He was trying VERY hard to get on her good side, but it every attempt has been meet with apathy at best.

Max asked "You seen Sergeant Fang? He, Nudge and I.. " Thought about it, "You know what, your adulterated mind, doesn't need to know "

Nov 18, 2017He did his best not to snap. "No I have not, though Major Houlihan I believe is with Corporal Nudge and the rest of the nurses."

Max turned towards the nurses' quarters, "Thanks" Walks away, "Oh! If you're thinking of writing to MacArthur about me.. Forget, he stopped accepting our mail!"

Frank took a deep breath. "I guess you will not be us for roll call then?"

Max said, not the slightest bit interested, "Who knows. I might, I might not. After I find Fang, and the others get back, we'll see." She walked toward Nurse's quarters, "Margaret! You in there?!"

Major Margret Houlihan came out, along with the Nurses of that Tent, including Nudge, all of them were in their uniforms. "Captain Ride. Its rare that you are here so early.

Nudge looked relieved when she saw Max.

Max crossed her arms , "I'm here for Nudge. As for my being awake.. Thank your adulterer, Major Burned"

Houlihan kept it together easier than Frank did. "Corporal Nudge?" Houlihan called her over to the front.

Nudge marched over to her. "Morning Max."

Max gave Nudge a sly smile, "Morning." She put her hands on Nudge's shoulders, "Remember a while ago? Our R&R? All the fun we had ?"

"Yes ma'am I do." Nudge says with a sly smile.

Houlihan cant help but to face palm. "With all do respect Captain, is this the kind of talk you should have in front of the other soldiers under your command?" She said referring to the other nurses behind them.

Max chuckled, "Lot of them are just jealous." She looked around. "Have any of your nurses seen Fang? Been looking for him "

They all respond with a varying degrees of no and nods. Nudge however speaks up. "I think I know where he would be? Permission to come help look for him?"

"Permission denied, Corporal. We still haven't finished our inspection." Houlihan said matter-of-factly.

Max sighed, "You know.. I outrank you. But, unlike the unfaithful Frank, you have a good head on your shoulders." Looks to Nudge, "Just tell me where you think he is"

"Thank you for the compliment, ma'am." said Houlihan.

Nudge looked disappointing, but remained up right. "Fang is up at the ridge cut keeping an eye out for Hawkeye, Iggy, Gazzy and Angel."

Max rubbed her head, "Thanks. Makes me feel better." Looks to the sky, "Chopper?" Radar walks up, "What's the scoop, Corporal? "

Radar read the files "Just two today ma'am. Thats all also we have a ne-"

Before he could finish, Fang touched down next to Max. "Morning."

Max smiled, "Unlikely to see you up, before me." Walks up to him, "Usually, by now, you're wearing one of these." She gestured to her robe

"What can I say, I needed to look presentable for the welcome party. Speaking of which." Around this time Hawkeye, Iggy, Gazzy and Angel came in. Gazzy and Angel looked happy and energetic while Hawkeye and Iggy looked drained.

Max smiled, " Hey, guys." Looks to Radar, "While everyone settles back in, why don't you fill me in, on the news "

"Well, we have two people coming here. The first one is due to arrive later today. Captain B.J. Hunnicutt, here is his file." He hands her the file.

While all that is going on Iggy and Hawkeye head over to the showers. The kids had a blast, and to be fair they had fun when they could though this trip ended with one hell of a hang over for the both of them. Fang followed the both of them to give them the bad news about Trapper.

Hawkeye asked, "What's up?"

Hawkeye and Iggy didn't even bother to take off their clothes and just let the cold water do its work.

"Well, I kind of got some bad new." Fang began to say.

"Can it wait? I feel like i'm about to throw up that bar from last night." Iggy said keeping his head down

"Man doesn't drink too well." Hawkeye explained.

"Bite me." Iggy snapped back

"Anyway, we tried calling you guys, we really did, Radar was on the phone for all day and night trying to reach you guys."

"But what? What could happen that you guys couldn't handle. Especially with That girl, Max at the helm and trusty Trapper John, Champion of the oppressed and the molester of unregistered nurses."

"Yeah, that's what I needed to talk to you guys about."

"What? What? What is going on with Trapper that you needed to call us?"

"He's gone guys. Discharged, sent state side."

Iggy was almost about to faint, "No note?"

Fang, "One for you, but not for Hawk"

"What? Nothing for me?" Hawkeye said sounding disappointed.

"Well he did leave something, but its with Radar."

Hawkeye goes to look for Radar.

Max was getting her uniform on. Suddenly, Fang walked in

Max smirked, "Nothing you haven't seen before "

"Yeah. I know." He sits down on her bunk. "Iggy didn't take the news well, neither did Hawkeye from what I saw."

Max sighed, "Alright. Well, we have a new guy coming, and I want everyone to be on the best behavior"

"Yeah... that may be a problem." Fang said as he looked behind her. Hawkeye, Radar and Iggy were in a jeep and were speeding off, presumably to go get the new guy and say goodbye to Trapper before he left.

Max, rubbing her head, "Great. How did I know, they'd do something like this"

"I don't know, but something tells me that once I told them, Iggy and Hawkeye would stop at nothing to try and say goodbye."

Max sighed, "Probably. Head after them, I'll make sure Frank doesn't kill himself, with stress"

"On it. And good luck with that." Fang said before taking his leave.

Anyway, they look for him. Iggy, "You see him?!"

"Not yet." he looked around and finally saw Radar about to take off in a jeep. "He's over here!" He ran over to him.

They think it's Trapper..

"Trapper!" Hawkeye called out to him when he saw him.

"Huh?!" Radar said looking confused.

"Oh, its just you... Sorry Radar."

"N-No its fine sir."

"Well... Fang told me that you had something from him to give to me."

"Oh, well..." Radar tried to avoid eye contact. "He did tell me to give you something but uhh..."

"What, what what, what is it?"

"Oh gee, I can't."

"What?" Hawkeye said, a little louder.

Radar took a deep breath. "Okay, but just remember, this was his idea." He took a second, and then gave Hawkeye a peck on the cheek, backing away, not happy with himself.

Iggy said, "Hope your note is okay. Mine was :

"I'm rooting for you and that motor-mouth kid. Good luck." -Trapper.

"Well, mine wasn't exactly like that." Hawkeye said, sitting down, looking dissapointed. "How long ago did he leave?" He asked Radar.

"A couple of hours ago, he took an early plain out of Kimpo." Radar said, still trying to get over the kiss he was forced to give Hawkeye.

Hawkeye stood up suddenly. "Today?! This Morning?!" He nearly shouted in shock and surprise.

"Yeah."

Hawkeye was about to hit the Jeep.

Fang, "Hawk.. we need you in OR. If you break your hand, you won't be able to operate

Hawkeye turned to Fang. "Look kid, we have to go to the Airport. There might still be time."

"What? No one wil agree to that."

Radar came up, "I was going to tell Captain Max the news, but if you need a driver "

"That would be great, thank Radar. But if were gonna make, I need to drive. But if you need to come with me then that's fine too." Hawkeye said before getting in the drivers seat.

Radar got in as well and Iggy got in the back.

"What about the patience?" Fang asked.

"I checked already. We've only got two patients in post-op. A nurse who was bitten on her nameplate by Sergeant Niles and Sergeant Niles with a broken jaw."

"Look, if Max says anything, we're just going to help make the new guy more comfortable." Iggy said, trying to convince him to let them go.

Fang thought about it for a minute and sighed. "Fine, but if you guys are not back by sun down, Max is gonna kill all of us, so be careful."

Iggy smiles at him. "Thanks man, I owe you one."

"And Hawkeye?" Fang said to the rebellious surgeon. "Make sure he doesn't get himself killed."

"Don;t worry, when we get back, you boy will be spic and spam for the both of you. Alright, lets head out." They drive off at top speed.

Nudge walks up to Fang, "We have a new guy?"

"We will, Hawkeye and Iggy went to go pick him up a while ago."

Nudge shrugged, "Alright. By the way, Max wants to see us in her office. Angel and Gazzy are already there"

"Right. Let's get going then."

They all walk into Max's office. Other than Max, Angel, and Gazzy.. Hot Lips and Frank were there too

Fang sighed. He had a bad feeling about this. "What do you need?"

Max looks to them, "Be nice." Looks to Frank, "And you don't be an ass"

Burns straightened up. "I will do my best ma'am."

"What is this about?" Fang asked curiously.

Max , "Trapper went home.. They went to go get the new guy.. Frank, you should know, he'll be in the swamp with you.." Turns to Fang, "I'm counting on you, to make sure he's comfortable." Turns to her youngest Flock mates, "You two, see to your everyday duties.." Looks to Nudge and Houlihan, "Nudge, you'll look after the other nurses, Marg, you get some R&R tomorrow"

Fang nodded in agreement.

Houlihan nodded. "Thank you, ma'am." She did however look over at Nudge.

Nudge looked happy at the announcement.

Frank was the only one with objections. "Ma'am, with all due respect, are you sure that those two are the best ones to go get this new doctor?"

Max looked at him , "Frank" She shook her head, "Just let it happen"

"Well I-" he began to argue before he stopped, he knew her long enough to know how stubborn she is.

Max sighed, Alright. Go.. Do whatever it is Franks do"

He nods and walks put of the room.

Angel said, to Max, "Whatever it is, Franks do?"

"Better then the last thing she said." Fang said quietly. "So is there anything else?"

Max said, "Yeah. One other thing." Sat down, "With Radar away.. Angel, you have twice as many things to do.. Gazzy, give Mulchay this letter.." Turns to Fang, "And, for the next two weeks.. Be nice to Frank"

"I can handle it. At least until they get back." Angel said confidently before heading back to the desk to catch up

Gazzy takes the letters. "Thank you Max, I will be sure to give them to him." He walks out to deliver them.

"I make no promises." Fang said with crossed arms.

Max, told Fang, "Okay. Well, at least don't pull a Hawkeye and fraternize with the Nurses. If you do, I won't sleep with you for a week" Turns to Angel, "Need to make a call. Call up the 8063rd"

"Wasn't planning on it." Fang said with a half smile before taking his leave.

Angel dialed the number.

Hawkeye was currently driving the jeep as fast as he can over to the airport. Trying to catch Trapper before he leaves.

Radar was in shotgun having a blast. He never went this fast before, and it was damn fun if you asked him.

Iggy asked, "Having fun, Radar?!"

"Oh you beat! Wooo-ho-ho!" He cheered as they sped up.

Iggy thinks he hears Trapper's footprints, "Hawk! Stop!"

Hawkeye slams the brakes. "What? What? What do you hear?"

Iggy yelled, "Trapper! Or, at least someone who's footprints are the same size as Trapper's!"

Hawkeye and Radar both looked at each other before turning to Iggy.

Radar sighed. "I hate to say it Iggy, bit I think your just hearing the sound of a check point up ahead."

Iggy looked angry, "I know the sound of people's footprints, Radar. I've been around Trap long enough, to know what his sound like. These prints.. Were made by someone DAMN similar." He listened, hearing more, "Nevermind"

"Well either way, we don't have time for a checkpoint. Radar' you switch places with Iggy, and pretend to be sick."

"Yes sir." Radar' gets out and switches with Iggy.

Eventually, the three of them arrived at Kimpo Air base

Iggy yelled "Trapper! Boss?!"

"I don't see him." Hawkeye said looking around.

"Oh, There's the MATS office, they'll probably know where Trapper is." Radar said to them, beginning to head off in the other direction. "I'm gonna try to find Captain Hunnicutt."

"Yeah, you do that Radar."

"Good luck to the both of you." He heads off to find the replacement while Hawkeye leads Iggy to the MATS office.

Iggy asked, "Hey. If he's home.. What're the chances we'll see him again?"

"Let's think about finding him first." Hawkeye said before entering the MATS office. In there, the guy on charge is talking gonna the phone with someone, a colonel from the sound of it.

Iggy asked him "Hey! Anything from a Captain McIntyre?"

The Sergeant ignored him and kept talking on the phone.

"Sergent." Hawkeye said trying to get his attention as well, but he just put his hand up to get him to wait. Apperently there was some problem with a general ordering pickles for something. "Who's in charge of this delicatessen?" Hawkeye asked frustrated at the sergeants apparent lack of care. He begins to look through the paperwork for the manifest of flight going to the U.S. but couldn't find it. "Hey, Where are your flight manifests? Stateside." The sergeant looked at him and handed him the manifests. Hawkeye looked over them to see when Trappers flight is.

The man at the desk said, "Sergeant.."

Iggy, "Call me Iggy,"

Desk, "You're staring at my dog tags. It is customary, to look someone in my position, in the eye"

Iggy, "Would, if I could"

"Oh good, you can talk now." Hawkeye said to the desk sergeant,as he looked through the manifest. He finally saw Trappers name and his arms slumped to his sides disappointedly. "We missed him by about ten minutes."

Iggy , "Ten minutes.." Shook his head, "So, Hawk.. I ask again.. What're our chances, of seeing him again?"

"Well, I wouldn't put money on it. Sorry kid."

"Hey," the sergeant spoke up. "Tor what it is worth, sorry about your friend."

Iggy simply said, "Thanks. let's go get Radar and this.. Honnicut"

"Right." They head back out of the MATS office. "Ten minutes, ten lousy minutes."

Radar met them outside, "Sirs.. Captain Hunnicutt."

"Now's not the best time Radar." Iggy said, feeling as disappointing about the whole thing as Hawkeye is.

"Ten lousy minutes!" Hawkeye said angrily.

"Captain Pierce, Sargent Iggy." Hunnicutt said, sticking his hand out to shake it. Hawkeye shakes his hand before going back to ranting.

Iggy simply said, "Sorry. Our friend's been discharged. He's unhappy "

"I can tell." The new Captin said as he watched him rant.

"You couldn't have 'droven' any faster." Radar said trying to comfort him

"I let that geisha take one too many laps on my back." Hawkeye said, feeling guilty about the whole thing.

Iggy pats his shoulder , "Don't beat yourself up" turns to BJ, "So.. You're my new boss"

"I guess I am, the names B.J." He sticks his hands out again.

Iggy asks, "And that stands for.."

"Its a combination of my mother and father's names, By mom was name Bea, and my dad was Jay." He notice that Iggy wasn't looking at his hand, he really was only looking in his general direction, like he could hear him but not see him. "Excuse me for asking this, but can you see me?"

Iggy sighs , "Well this spares us having to tell him later" he tellsBJ, "No. I can't see crap. Blind as a hundred bats "

"And you can still operate?" B.J. said surprised.

"Yeah, as long as you tell him where the tools are, he can operate just as good as any doctor there." Hawkeye said with a smirk.

Iggy, "Yeah. Korea's a crazy place "

"Incredible." Hunnicutt said, a part of him wondered how much he could really teach him if he can already do surgery blind.

"Yeah, we can tell you more about it on the way home. Radar, can you go get the jeep?"

"Yeah sure." Radar and Hawkeye walked to where the jeep should have been. After not seeing it Hawkeye began to walk around Radar with B.J. following behind.

Iggy sighed, "BJ.. How about you and I look for a phone. I'll call Max, let her know we'll be a little late

"Hold on now, let's not jump to conclusions. Where is the jeep Radar?" Hawkeye asked.

"It's right here!" Radar exclaimed, throwing his arms at where the jeep was.

"Radar, there is no jeep here, there is only a whole lot a 'here' here."

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT!" Radar explained at the realization hat the jeep was probably stolen.

Iggy shook his head, "You can't trust anyone these days" Turns to Hawkeye, "Do we find that phone, now? "

"Yeah, but first, lets calm him down."

"Its stolen! The Jeeps stolen!" Radar said panicking.

"Radar calm down, we'll call Max and-"

"What?! No, we can't call her!"

"Why not?"

"Listen, I'm responsible. I signed that jeep out! I'll have to pay for it, and I'm poor!" He panics so much he didn't notice that he was walking in the middle of a driveway and in front of a truck.

Iggy sighs , "Radar.. Max will be forgiving for losing a car.

Iggy hears the truck coming their way, but before it could hit Radar, Hawkeye pulled him out of the way.

"Things always this calm around here?" Hunnicutt asked sarcastically.

"Its the only war in town." Hawkeye responded back.

"I'll call an MP. HEY! HEY!" He tried to call some over before being stopped by Hawkeye.

"Radar, if you can keep your head while others are losing theirs then you probably haven't checked with your answering services." Hawkeye quoted.

"Rudyard Kipling." B.J. Answered correctly.

Iggy sighed, "Okay. Captain.. Should've said this earlier but.. Welcome to Korea "

"Thanks. It helps to have a warm welcome."

"I have to tell, and she is gonna have to tell them, I mean that jeep was government property!" Radar tried to expalin to Hawkeye.

"So are you." Hawkeye reasoned, getting Radar to calm down a little.

"I guess I never thought about it that way."

Iggy , "So.. Should I call Max here or.." gestured to his back, indicating 'fly'

"I think we should get a drink first. After all Here is the eminent Captain Hunnicutt, fresh from the U.S. Of A. Let us welcome yon weary traveler with food and drink."

"Kipling?" Radar guessed.

"Auto-club." B.J. Answered.

"Right you are, Give that man a lady in the balcony."

They plan to have a drink

However.. before they can, Radar sees that it is an Officer's club. "Hey wait I can't go in there!"

BJ smiled, "Here." Hands him tags

"I appreciate it, but what about my stripes?"

"Radar, you've heard of Lieutenant Generals, Sergeant Majors? You are now a Corporal Captain."

"I don't know, maybe I should wait in the car." Radar said hesitantly.

Iggy asked, angrily , "What car?"

"Oh right, I forgot." Radar said as her remembered what they came here to do in the first place.

The walk into the Bar. "What'll you have Captain?" Hawkeye asked B.J.

"Bourbon and Water."

"And what about you Captain?" He asked Iggy, who left his jacket in the jeep.

Iggy thought about it, and looked to the bartender "You know what.. One beer"

"There we go. What about you Captain." He asked Radar, who staired blankly. "Captain?"

Iggy looked to Radar, "If I can avoid Max's wrath.. You can order something besides grape soda"

"N-No its fine, one of us has to drive. I'll take a Grape Nehi."

"Alright, that's two burbon's and water, one beer and a Grape Nehi." The bartender went to go get the drinks when a jet flew overhead.

"They always fly so low?"

"They're not low, the ground is just high up." Hawkeye joked.

Radar turned to Hunnicutt. "He not usually like this, he's just like that."

"Oh you are gonna love it here, Camping out, betting on rat races, hot and cold running dysentery." Hawkeye joked.

"To think what I've been missing." Hunnicutt said sarcastically.

Hawkeye smirked "Yeah. But, plus side.. Hot nurses." Gets slapped by Iggy . Rubbing his head, "Nudge tell you to do that?"

Iggy didn't answer, just smirked.

"Well, I am a married man so that might be a problem later."

"Really? You bring her with you?" Hawkeye asked.

"Nah, I figured I'd ahead and check it out. What about you Hawkeye, you married?"

"Someone would have to get me pregnant first." Hawkeye replied bitterly.

"Oh look, there are three on the aisle open." Hawkeye points out. the group heads there, except for Radar who hesitates to even move up until one of the officers looks at him funny. He goes there when the Bartender is handing out drinks.

"Does the, uh, Captain want a straw?"

Radar tries to look tough. "We don't use straws in combat, fella." He said in a overly serious tone. The bartender hands him his bottle.

Iggy sighed , "Oh, Radar." Pats his back, "You better calm down, before we get thrown out"

"R-Right, sorry." He brings it back down.

Hawkeye lifts up a drink. "I'd like to propose a toast to our new friend. B.J, welcome to Korea.

Land of the Morning Calm. For 5,000 years, fought over, mauled and occupied by Mongols, Manchus, Chinese Russians, Japanese, Americans, and appearing this week only, Professor Jerry Colonna. Cheers."

Iggy chuckled, "Hawkeye. Best clown, in the whole damn circus." An older officer came up, an angry look in his face

"Boys?" He greets them.

"Colonel." everyone says to him except Radar, who is currently trying not to wet himself out of fear.

"Y'all do know this is an officers club, right?" He said, burning holes into the back of Radar's head with his eyes.

Iggy said, "Yes sir. All four of us, Captains"

"Really? Corporal's stripes and Captains Bars?" The gruff looking Colonel said, referring to Radar's jacket and pin he has on his hat.

Iggy quickly said, "Uh.. Experimental rank. What do you think?"

"Experimental Rank?"

"Yeah, were doing a survey to see if everyone likes it, its call Corporal Captain." Hawkeye spoke up. "Were asking everyone in Seoul."

"Well, I don't like it. I don't like it at all."

"Put down one 'no.' One against." Hawkeye said, motioning to B.J.

"Right. One negative corporal captain." B.J. Said pretending to right something down.

"Thanks Colonel, we really appreciate your hep in this."

"No sir, I don't like it at all." He said before walking off.

Iggy bitterly said, "Well.. I'm glad we don't have to deal with that,everyday

"Just on the good one's. So B.J. whats your story?" Hawkeye asked curiously.

"Well, Two months ago, I'm in residency in Sausalito. Little house in Mill Valley, Peggy's eight months pregnant. And they draft me. Five weeks' training at Fort Sam Houston. Bunch of doctors stumbling around in the dark, totally me idiot shooting live ammo over your heads." B.J. Begins

"American Plan, huh?" Hawkeye says sympathetically.

Then one night, Peggy and I are at the Top of the Mark. Her first night out since having the baby. We go home. Our baby-sitter, Norma Jean, says there's a message.

"Wait, Norma Jean?" Hawkeye asked, the name apparently peeking his interest.

"Mm-hmm."

"Eighteen?"

"Sixteen."

"Oh." Hawkeye said, sounding disappoint.

Iggy replied , "Hawk.. Hate to say it but.. Fang and I control ourselves, better than you do"

"Is that why you couldn't wait for him and Max to finish and ended up using Hot Lips's bed instead?"

Iggy got angry, "I planned to use my own bed.. But, they took it. Where were we supposed to go?"

I hear the showers are nice that time of day."

"Excuse me, what is going on here?" B.J. asked, clearly lost.

Iggy blushed , "Uh.. My friends had sex in my bed and.. I was planning on using with my own girl and.. So, we wound up in our head nurse's quarters. "

"I...see." B.J. said. He was not fully expected that kind of a story.

"Anyway I interrupted you, sorry. Go ahead." Hawkeye apologized before letting him continue.

"Alright, the message was'In two days, report to Travis to ship out.' Next thing I know, here I am." He said finishing his story.

Iggy heavily sighed, "At least you weren't drafted by a nut "

"He is, trust me, I met the guy, he could feed a colony of squirrels though multiple winters, and still have enough left over for a pie." Hawkeye joked.

"I'll take your word for it."

Iggy said, in a monotone voice, "Alright. So, Max is probably eager to meet a new guy.. But.. Still no jeep "

"We'll think of something." Hawkeye said, unfortunately, there was still no phone, and he didn't want to risk the kid flying around.

"Well either way, I'd like to get out of here, I stick out a little." Radar said nervously.

"Right, lets go see if we can find a phone that isn't being used." The start to walk out.

"Hey, what's the 4077 like?" B.J. asked curiously.

Iggy declared,, "If you're like us.. It sucks, but there's a lot of good people. And Frank."

.

"Frank?" B.J. asked

"Major Burns, he's officially or C.O. but he really can't do much of anything." Radar explains.

"Bottom of the barrel, Major Burns. Major Frank Burns. Everybody calls him Ferret Face. That'll give you an idea how devoted we are to him."

"I see, is he at least a good surgeon?"

"With the same light touch as a German jazz band."

"Wait, you said he is officially your C.O.?"

"Yeah, on paper, but there is another one running the show much better than Major Burns could ever have. Our other C.O. took her on personally as his second in command."

"She?" B.J. Asked curiously.

Iggy replied, "Yes. She. Don't let think thar changes anything. She's still one of the finest officers, the army has"

"Good to know." B.J. said, admittedly a little impressed from what they told him. "What about surgery?"

" Meatball surgery. Nothing pretty. He's lucky enough not to see it."Hawkeye said, refering to Iggy. "But once we get a casualty to our front door, his chance of survival is 97.8%"

"That says a lot for the staff."

"Yeah, It's a good bunch. You missed two of the greatest guys in the world though." Hawkeye said reminiscing. "Henry Blake was our C.O. before we got Ferret Face. Henry was okay, from the navel out in every direction."

Iggy sighed , "Yeah. Very close to those around him." He clenched his fist, "Especially those who.. Never knew parents "

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." B.J said sympathetically.

"Yeah. And we just missed Trapper by ten lousy minutes!" He said, slamming his friend down. "And your sure he didn't leave a message for me."

"No, he didn't, just what I gave you, and I'm not giving it to you again." Radar said, remembering what Trapper said to give him.

Iggy smiled, "Well.. Trapper was my boss. You're his replacement

BJ chuckled "I see. Well by the sound of it I have some big shoes to fill."

Iggy simply said, "Yeah. But Max and I will make sure you do"

"I hope so, is there anyone or anything else I should be aware of?"

Iggy looked down, "A CIA nut will often visit. But don't worry about him. The others, you'll meet when we get there"

"CIA?"

"Can't talk about it, classified."

"Alright then?" B.J. still seemed confused.

Iggy smiled, "Don't worry. He's not around very often. But Angel will try to scare you"

"Angel?"

"Little girl, Blondie, French, Radar's partner."

"How little we talking?"

Iggy said, "Well.. Looks are deceiving. She looks about.. Maybe eight or so.. But, she's six"

BJ was confuse and somewhat angry,"And they let her be drafted into the military?!"

"Yep, bot don't let her age or cutesy persona fool you, she is more mischievous then all of us combined, and she is damn scary too."

"Now I have to know." B.J. said now very curious about this base.

Around this time a jeep came by with some generals in it. They head into another part of the base, leaving their jeep unattended.

Iggy said, "Plus side, can get back to base. Minus side.. Lost my jacket"

"Well get you a new one." Hawkeye said looking at the jeep.

"Wait, your not really suggesting we steal that are you, that a General's Jeep!" Radar argued.

No, no, no. What they've done, in order to get into the officers' club they put a general's flag on our jeep." Hawkeye reasoned

"It's not!"

I can prove it. Test me." Hput his hands over his eyes. "It's olive drab, right?

"Well yeah but-"

"Made in Detroit?"

"They all say that."

"Mud underneath? Four seats that can reduce your behind to tears?"

"Yeah, but"

"They didn't fool me for a minute." He said taking the flag off and throwing it on the ground before getting in the drivers seat. "Put your stuff in the back B.J."

Radar groaned but eventually caved in. "Listen, you've been drinking. I drive."

"Alright, deal." Hawkeye scooted over to let Radar drive.

Iggy was chuckling, "Gotta tell you, Hawk's the finest comedian, this side of the world"

"Oh that was apparent a while ago." B.J. chucked as well.

Iggy laughed, "Gazzy's gonna love this. He'll go up to that General, 'stealing is a sin'"

Radar sighed and they drove off.

(That's part 1.)


	19. Welcome to Korea part 2

(Heres part 2. Special thanks to JosephAllen32 for his help with this chapter.)

No, I don't think he will." Radar said, looking surprised that that happened.

Hawkeye was spitting out feathers after that happens while Hunnicutt was looking amazed.

Iggy said, "Yeah. Uh.. Beer, huh?" Chuckles awkwardly

"Radar, stop the car." Hawkeye all but demanded, still spitting out feathers. Radar stops the car.

"Sooo... Anyone want to explain?"

Iggy let out a heavy sigh, "What do you know, about Himmler, and Mengele?"

"They were both Nazi's, pretty close to Hitler... Where are you going with this?"

Iggy said, remembering his terrible past, "six children. Three born to American parents, while they vacationed in Austria. One born to two Black Austrians. Two French.. Taken by Himmler.. Made Mengele's experiments"

Hunnicutt soon realized"Wait, are you saying that you are one of these experiments?"

"Ding Ding, give that man a medal." Hawkeye said, recovering from the sudden feathers in his face.

Iggy said, "Sorry Hawk. Korea.. Makes you shed. So does.." Blushes, "Mating season"

"Yeah, I really needed to know that last part." He said, spitting out the last feather.

Iggy said, "Sorry, Hawk."

"Its fine, just try to keep'em closer to yourself next time."

"Mating season?" B.J. asked, though he wasn't sure he wanted to know the response?

Iggy said, blushing, "My Flock is.. Heavily tied to our Avian DNA. "

"The ones who hit puberty become very... horny, for lack of a better word."

"Oh... I see..."

Iggy blushed, "Yeah.. Nudge and I.. Get pretty crazy "

"I have ear muffs for just the occasion." Hawkeye half-joked.

Iggy replied angrily, "I may be a bird freak, but at least bird freaks are faithful "

"Maybe, but your also loud."

Iggy said, awkwardly, "Okay. Who wants to talk about something, other than my sex life?!" "Why does Everyone call you Hawkeye?" B.J. Asked, wanting to change the subject just as much as him.

"Oh yeah, That's from The Last of the Mohicans. My father was crazy about that book. He was crazy about Indians. My grandfather used to sell them whiskey and hors d'oeuvres." Hawkeye explained.

"Interesting."

Iggy became curious, "I always thought it was because you notice the things most surgeons find too small to notice "

"That's just a happy coincidence." Hawkeye said with a small smirk. "Anyway, i got all the feathers out of my system, so we should get back on the road."

Iggy said, angrily, "We're in Korea, and mating season is one month away. How many times must I apologize?!"

"You can apologize by keeping it quite once you and Nudge get some alone time."

Iggy said, "If SHE hears that. You're getting your ass whupped"

"Fair enough." Hawkeye said as they drove along. The eventually ran into the same MP that they had tricked into thinking Radar was sick.

Iggy whispered , "Act cool "

"I know." Radar whispered loudly.

They drive up. "You sure out in a long day lieutenant." Hawkeye said to the MP.

Iggy smiled , "You want a drink? There's an officer's club, few miles back "

Iggy, "You know, Hawk.. I think you ought to talk to this guy "

"Can't drink on the job, there are a lot of infiltrators on the road." The lieutenant responded.

"Yeah the sure give the war a bad name." Said Hawkeye casually. The lieutenant looked at Radar. "Uhh there was no room for him at the 121st so were taking him back to the 4077."

"He can drive now?" The MP asked skeptically.

"Its good therapy." Hawkeye lied. He then pointed back to B.J. "This is Dr. Hunnicutt."

"Hunnicutt?"

"Yo" B.J. Greeted

"He is a specialist." Hawkeye reasoned.

"We flew him in to operate. Soon as we get him back, he's gonna... get on his nerves."

"And he can drive now." He asked pointing at Radar.

"We put a temporary filling in his ear." The MP tried to look and see but Radar went to scratch his ear, obscuring his view. However the Lieutenant notice something else.

"Different." He said as he looked at the jeep.

Iggy said, thinking the MP noticed his faded eyes, "Something wrong?"

"The jeep, It's different from when you came in!" He pointed out. Failing to notice Iggy's eyes at the moment.

"Oh! Yes! Yeah. Uhh,Sharp eye, Lieutenant. Good. Uhh, yes, this different jeep is definitely a different jeep. We picked it up in Seoul. It was stolen from our C.O." Hawkyeye said quickly before chuckling a little.

He pulls out a note pad. "What's his name?"

"Major Burns. Major Frank Burns. Medicine's answer to longevity."

"Frank Burns." He said while writing it down.

Iggy said, "If you ever need a pass code.." Whispers to him, "Frank Burns, ears worms"

He wrote that down, but stopped at the realization of how off that sounded. He turned to the ginger haired teen to say something, but stopped when he saw his eyes. "Hey... Is he alright?"

"Hmm? Oh, you mean his eyes? Yeah he's fine, got out of surgery a while back, his eyes just haven't recovered fully yet."

Iggy replied, "Yeah. Just came out. Doc's expecting me back at base"

"Ohh..." He eyeballs everyone. "This is weird." Before he could ask anymore questions, Radar pretended to have a sickness induced freak out and acted sporadically, trying to scare him into letting them through.

Iggy said, "We better head back. Our CO doesn't like us to be late and.. We don't know what could be upsetting him" gestures to Radar

Radar acts a little more crazy. The MP, afraid of catching what he has, lets them through. They drive off as soon as the road is clear. Radar stops doing the crazy act as soon as they are out of range. "That was too close."

Iggy chuckled , "What's crazier? That situation, of the fact that I know how to steal a German Tank?"

That's still a coin toss." Hawkeye said, A few minutes of driving later Hawkeye told Radar to stop up ahead. It didn't take long for Hawkeye to begin yelling at someone to stop whatever they were doing.

"What? What's going on?" B.J. asked.

Iggy chuckled , "When I was a kid, I stole a German Tank. Hawkeye often makes bets, over what's crazier. This war, or the last one"

"Not that, as interesting as that is, I mean why is Hawkeye screaming at the Farmer and those girls out int he field.

Iggy sighed, "Either, it's a medical thing, or he's.. 'Eager to entertain' if you will"

"Its neither of those!" Radar snapped at him. "Don't you remember that girl we had in surgery a while ago that hit a mine? Do you remember what she was doing?"

Iggy sighed, "Mine fields. Never saw the point"

"Wait there are live Mines in that field?" B.J asked surprised.

"I say we don't find out." Hawkeye said before going back to yelling. "Hey! Stop!" He stands up in the jeep. "STOP IT!" He yells at teh top of his lungs.

"Its Jungji." Radar said, telling him how to say it in Korean.

"JUNGJI!" Hawkeye yells again, this time they understand and stop.

Iggy sighed , "Gonna have to borrow a British phrase." Gets out of Jeep to help, "Bloody hell, it's just like London"

The rest get out as well.

"Who's the father? Are you the father?" Hawkeye asked the old man next to the Ox, his son and wife at his side. The old man iglores them and says something to the daughters.

"He said, 'Go ahead and not pay any attention to ya.'" Radar translated.

"Is he crazy?!" Hawkeye asked Rhetorically. "Listen to me, listne to this! Do you have any idea what you are doing?!" He asked the old man, who just ignores him. "Oo-san! That's what he is, You understand? That's in your own language! Oo-San! That's what you are!" Hawkeye says, trying to insult the man in Korean.

Iggy said, "Hawk.. I don't think these people care about what we have to say. They're farmers"

"Besides, your just calling him an umbrella." Radar pointed out.

Hawkeye looked confused for a second. "Then what is the Korean word for-" before he could finish an explosion goes off, one of the girls is hurt by one of the mines. Radar, not thinking, runs out into the field to get her. "RADAR! How are you gonna get out? Radar!" Hawkeye calls out to him, but Radar is already at the girl, checking her out to see if she is alive.

Iggy said, trying to help , "Lucky for me, Radar has loud footprints"

Hawkeye and Hunnicutt try to call Radar back, but he isn't going anywhere with out the girl. So he picks her up and tries to lead her and her sister out o the mine field.

Iggy said, "And I thought Fang was stubborn, before I met Radar"

"Just get ready to help him when he gets out." Hawkeye said as he sees Radar try and retrace his steps out of the mine field. He eventually gets out.

As they get him out. Iggy commented "Radar. Stubborn.. Yet brave. Often stupid, but very brave "

"Hey, would you have left her in there if you had a chance to save her?" Radar shot back.

"Fragments in her leg. Shock." Hawkeye observed while examining her.

"I guess the army has a few more of those?" Hunnicutt said, referring to the mines.

Iggy simply said, "Got a point, Radar. As for the fragments.. Yeah "

"Lets get her in a jeep." said Hawkeye.

B.J. Put his jacket around her to help with the shock before helping to bring her into the jeep. However as they tried to put her in, the rest of the family tried to pile in.

Iggy yelled at the locals "This thing can only hold so much!"

"I know, hey wait a minute!"Hawkeye and the others try to get them off, but only manages to get the mother and the to stay off, the father then tells them about a hospital, it's a lot closer than the 4077, so they decide to take her there.

Iggy sighed, knowing they'd be late, "Alright. We'll take her there.. But, Max'll fry us later"

"Its better than risking her life." Hawkeye says as he drives.

"That guy back there had a lot of nerve, you know that?!" Radar said, clearly mad at the father fro putting his daughters at risk like that.

Iggy said, "Farmers are notorious for stubbornness. But, that doesn't matter, right now we have work to do"

"Right. Lets get to that hospital." They drive there and make it there, but the hospital is in very poor conditions. Its primitive, under equipped, an the smell is vomit inducing.

After seeing such a disgusting sight.. They went to a local bar.

After quick drink... Or a thousand.. They headed back to camp

Angel, "What's the BJ stand for?"

BJ, "Whatever you want"

"Hey careful with that kind of talk around her. Mama Bear might getcha!" Hawkeye said before laughing along with B.J.

Around this time Frank and Houlihan came in to greet the captain and noticed the two men drunk out of their minds. "What is this, who is this?"

. "Major Burns, Major Houlihan, this is Captain Hunnicutt." Hawkeye tries to say with a straight face.

B.J. Does a mock salute. "What say ye Ferret Face?" That got the both of them to fall down laughing, Hunnicutt holding on to Houlihan to stay up.

They kept laughing.. Until Max came out..

(Check in for part three.)


	20. Welcome to Korea, finale

(BJ meets the Flock.)

Max glares at Iggy, which he could practically feel her angry eyes drilling into his skull.

Iggy said, "Does anyone else feel, they're about to get their a** whupped?"

"Maybe I should leave." Frank said, looking afraid that she might hit him by 'accident.'

Iggy looked hostilely at Burns, "Frank.. If my a** gets beat.. Yours is grass"

"Perhaps, but I can at least keep a safe distance." Frank said, keeping his distance.

"Iggy, how about you come to my office so that you can give hopefully give me a good reason not to kick you skinny pale ass all over this base."

Iggy sighed, "Alright."

Angel, giggling, turns to Frank, "Letter from your wife"

"Oh, uhh... thank you." He takes the letter. He looked over.. And saw Margaret looking angrily at him.

Angel then follows Max and Iggy to the CO's office.

Iggy, as Angel's listening, "Now.. I know you're pissed. B-"

"Shut it!" She interrupted him, before sitting down. She took a breath. "Now, can you explain why our brand new doctor and one of our best surgeons are completely drunk, on YOUR watch?"

Iggy replied, "First.. It's Hawkeye. What can you expect? Second.. I wanted the man to feel welcome, the Jeep got stolen and-" he realized what he just said

Max yelled"The jeep got what?!" She stood up suddenly. "When?"

Iggy chuckled nervously, "After we arrived at the airport.. Hawk and I asked for Trapper, Radar went to look for BJ, and.. The Jeep was gone. Either the enemy, or draftees like us. Not sure "

Max realized "Wait, if our jeep got stolen, then whose jeep is that outside?"

Iggy chuckled nervously , "Uh.. You said MacArthur stopped accepting our mail? Well.. If I wrote that we stole a.. Jeep from an other General"

"Iggy!" She sounded progressively madder. Iggy then remember what Hawkeye said to the MP, the C.O. Frank Burns was the one who it was supposedly stolen from.

Iggy smiled , "Frank Burns eats worms"

She blinked a little after that. "What?"

Iggy smirked , "An MP stopped us. We gave him a code. Frank Burns eats worms"

"You told an MP that?" Her eyes slowly widen as she starts to get where he's going with this. "You told him it was his jeep did you?"

Iggy simply said, "Yes. I found it funny, and Frank deserves it"

Max did her best no tto laugh at that and shatter the whole serious leader thing she was trying to keep up.

Angel started to laugh as well. She said, "That's what Frank gets, for eating my potato rations at lunch!"

"We can hear you too Angel." Max says as she hears her little laughter coming from behind the door.

Angel said , "I'm sorry, but that's funny!" She went in, "Plus, I've got the last of Max's paperwork for today, and a question about Captain Hunnicutt"

"Okay? What do you want to know about him?" Max said, sitting down at her desk again.

Angel asked, "You think he's like Trapper? In morale I mean"

Max sighed. "I don't know really, his profile leads to him being a good guy, but I take those with a grain of salt. The best I can do is meet him in person and judge from that, but due to the fact that he and Hawkeye are completely drunk in front of this tent, that's difficult if not impossible."

Angel asked, "Alright. Well, should we go talk to him? He should be sober soon "

Angel sensed something. She could hear thoughts, of someone clearly spying on them. She walked over to the door, opened it.. And slammed it closed. A voice, obviously Frank's, yelled, "Ow!"

Angel, asked, incredibly annoyed"What are you doing here, Major?"

Frank, knowing he's been found out, walks into the room. 'Damn telepath.' he thought to himself.

Angel asked , "I heard that! Now what are you doing here?"

He looked a little nervous now. "U-Uhh, well, I am also in command of this Outpost, and I'd also like to be involved in this particular loop surrounding our new captain."

"And?" Said Max, knowing full well he has something else planned.

"A-And, I'd like to train him myself, if that is okay with you."

Angel asked, "Frank.. Have you looked at his files?"

"Well I figured that if we were getting a new doctor that I should at least know his medical background."

Angel sighed, "I don't know what's worse. They haven't discharged you yet, or the fact you're still spying on us all"

"Can I be frank, Frank?" Max asked, joking a little.

Angel giggled, "I don't think his wife would approve if you were!"

Max chuckled a little before continuing. "I don't think you are really qualified to train him based on credentials alone."

Angel simply took out two pieces of paper, "Yeah. Who knows? Maybe he's a better doctor than you are." Handed paper to Max, "Letters. One from your mom, one from.." knees shaking, "Colonel Blake's wife "

Max went wide eyed, before she got a sad look on her face, the would was still fresh.

"Ma'am I-"

"That... Will be all Frank."

Frank, seeing as how now wasn't a good time, simply nodded and left the office.

Angel asked, "Can I. Read with you or. Should I go greet Captain Hunnicut?

"You can stay with me."Max said, patting her lap to indicate that she wants Angel to sit down and read it with her.

The letter says simply, "To Max"

It read, "To whoever is commanding the 4077. Max, I think Henry told me? If you're reading this.. Something happened to Henry. If you ever read this.. Please write back and tell me what. I hope leadership isn't too bit a struggle. Henry's letter just seemed.. Stressed. If you ever find yourself in Bloomington.. Come visit. Henry would've loved to see you. Our kids kept crying, when Henry didn't come home. So did I. Please.. Visit one day.

Signed,

Loraine Blake, wife of Lt Col Henry Blake"

Max read the letter, unaware that some tears were hitting it.

Angel said, also crying, but trying to lighten the mood, "So.. I guess we're headed to Bloomington, after the war?"

"Yeah, we are." She wiped the tears from her eyes. "Alright, I need to write her back.

Angel said, "Okay. I'll go get Captain Hunnicut "

"So we can know him better "

"Right, right. Oh wait Angel?" She goes into the desk and pulls out a handkerchief. She hands it to her.

Angel said, "Thanks, Max "

"No problem. I just figured you wouldn't want him to see you crying."

She wiped her tears, and found BJ

B.J. was going through hangover and drinking some of the coffee to help him with the alcohol at the moment.

Angel asked Captain? "

"Huh?" He turned to her holding his head. "Oh sorry, Angel right? Sorry about mine and Hawkeye's behavior, we had a very long day today."

Angel said, " I understand. Getting the jeep stolen, and disguising Radar as Corporal Captain, meeting a Colonel, and hearing 'Frank Burns eats worms' would make quite a day"

"That's not even half of it." He said remembering the skirmish they ran into. One of those kids looked like he went through a meat grinder.

Angel said, "Yeah. We see casualties a lot. But, we never really see meat grinder wounds "

B.J. looked surprised at her ability to tell what he was thinking.

He looked at the young blonde, remember what they said about some of them having special abilities.

Angel said, "Almost everyone is surprised

B.J sighed. "Let me guess, mind reader?"

Angel said, smirking, "Yep. Can read the mind of Einstein if I had the chance "

"Sorry, can't help you there. Still, it speaks volumes that you can handle the clerk work while the others are gone."

Angel, said, shrugging,"It's not an easy job. But I get it done "

BJ chuckles. "I bet. So what do you need me for?"

Angel said, "Captain Max sent me, to get to know you better."

BJ replied, "Well.. What do you want to know?"

Angel asked, "Okay. Well.. Where are you from?"

BJ answered "I'm from Mill Valley, California. Nice place to raise a family if you ask me."

Angel looked down, "Well.. My birth parents were French. But I'm from Arizona. Do you have family? "

"Yeah, i'm married and have a baby girl, only a few weeks old. What about you?"

Angel said, smiling , "Technically.. The 4077, particularly the Flock.. Are my family. Biologically, I have an older brother. He's just about two years older that me. He's our assistant Chaplin "

Angel chuckled "Max is definitely a mama bear. Key word bear "

BJ replied "Yeah, I heard about that from Hawkeye. Still, someone barely older than you being an assistant Chaplin? That really is impressive.

Angel said, "Well.. God knows no age. He's sweet. So, you think you'll like it here?"

"Well, I can't say I will dislike it if people like you and Hawkeye are here, but I don't know.

Angel asked "So. Would you like to meet the others?"

He takes a sip of his coffee. "Sure."

Angel takes him to the quarters, she shares with Nudge. Seeing and Iggy making out.

Angel, "Ahem!"

Nudge looked over and saw them. "Mmm." She pushed Iggy away and straightened herself out. "Angel, what are you doing here?"

Angel said, "Nudge, this Captain BJ Hunnicutt. He'll be taking Trapper's place. Captain, meet Corporal Nudge. Our secondary head nurse "

B.J. nods. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." She said, blushing a little at getting caught in the act.

Angel smirked, "Like it's the first time, you kissed in Korea"

She glared at her.

B.J. smirked. "So your the secondary head nurse."

Nudge smiled, "Yeah. It's not the easiest job in the world but.. I feels nice to save lives"

Angel said, "She's saved more of 'the enemy' than Frank cares to say"

BJ stated, "Good, that means you have a good heart."

Angel, said "She has a very big heart. Particularly, when she's around Iggy. Where her heart isn't her ONLY organ, to show effection"

Nudge glared at Angel again.

"Now now, no need to get that specific."

Angel , "Alright. Now, how about you two learn something about each other "

As she left

Nudge asked, "So.. You like Angel so far?

B.J. nods. "Yeah, she is definitely interesting.

Nudge said, "The only time she doesn't read your mind? When you're having sex. Every other time she will" motormouth kicks in

"Uh-huh." B.J. said, waiting patiently for either her to stop or for Angel to get back.

Angel said "Yeah. She's been like that, according to what I'm told, since Austria"

"Austria?" He was a bit surprised to find that she was from Austria, though he did remember Iggy mentioning that the couple was black. Either way, that is an odd place to find a black couple.

Angel said, reading BJ'S mind, "Yeah. But you will find them. They're just rare."

Nudge noticed Angel's mind reading, "Just annoying, isn't it? "

"As long as she can keep a secret, it shouldn't be too much of a problem, just don't make a habit of it." B.J. Said to Angel.

Angel said, "Well, you've met Iggy and Nudge. You want to meet Gazzy? I think he and the Father are coming this way

Gazzy and Father Mulchay walk into the Flock's quarters (two tents separated by a wall).

Gazzy asked, "Would you happen to be BJ?"

"Yes I am, I am to assume that our our assistant Chaplin?" He said, noting his age and crucifix.

Gazzy said, "Yes. This is our senior Chaplin, Father Mulcahy"

Nice to meet you father." B.J. Said, greeting him with a friendly smile.

Mulcahy said, "You as well, Captain." He turns to Gazzy, "You already know my secondary."

"Indeed, Sargent Iggy told me a little about him."

Gazzy asked, "exactly what details, Capitaine?"

"Just that you and Angel were siblings and that you were being trained as a chaplin."

Gazzy smiled, "Oh. That's good. You're not thinking of.. Fraternizing with the nurses? Because, I'll have to do something, Qui?"

Don't have to worry about that with me, i'm a happily married man."

Gazzy said, "Oh. Well, alright. Well, I look forward to working with you. But I warn you, things get pretty crazy."

"So i've heard. Especially around mating season."

Gazzy chuckled, while Father Mulcahy looked uncomfortable.

Gazzy, "Sorry, Father"

"Yeah, sorry. Anyway, I should probably go properly introduce myself to the C.O."

Gazzy said, "Yeah. Fang's guarding her door. Plus.. Klinger may creep up on you, on the way there"

"Klinger?" He asked curiously.

Angel said, "Kind of short, cross dresser"

"He'll be the man wearing a corset, as you walk into the CO's office

BJ follows Angel to the CO's office

"Good to know." He said as he followed her to the office.

Fang stands guard, watching as they come up.

But, he's not surprised when Klinger walks up too.

Klinger, (dressed Truman's wife), "Ah, my dark haired Angel! One of the Lord's divine savio."

"What do you want Klinger?" Asked Fang rolling his eyes.

Klinger declares , "Truly, a citizen of Heaven, one of God's divine angels, could recognize an insane man when he sees one"

"Exactly, so what are you dong here?"

Around this time Angel and B.J. approached them.

Klinger said, "Surely, when you see a crazy man. You know to ship him off."

Angel said, to BJ, "The man dressed as Mrs Truman? That's Klinger, he's always trying to get section 8

B.J. couldn't help but chuckle as he saw this. "I see. He calls him an angel does he know about the uhh..."

Angel said, "He discovered after everyone else. He's using it to help get section 8"

"Gotcha." They go up to Klinger.

, "Please. Hear me, my dark haired savior. I-"

"Uhh, hello there, corporal Klinger right?" B.J. said, greeting the odd man.

Klinger asked, "You must be Captain Hunnicut. Perhaps you could help?"

Angel said, "I don't have to use my powers to know what he's asking you for '

"What do you need?"

Klinger said, "Clearly, a man like me doesn't belong in the Army. Too crazy."

"Valid point, that being said I can't discharge you."

Klinger asked, "Why not? !"

"Well for one, I'm no psychologist. As for the other reason, I'm not the C.O."

Klinger said "But you're still am officer"

Angel said, "Which is why Fang and I can't discharge you. We're NCOs, like you

"Exactly, your gonna need the approval of someone in command."

Klinger said, "Max has denied me time and again. What are the odds that'll change now?!" He walked away.

"Is it wrong to feel a little sorry for him?"

Angel said, "Eh. BJ Hunnicutt, Fang. Fang, BJ

"Nice to meet you." He reaches his hand out to shake it.

"Likewise"

"So, you work under Hawkeye?"

Fang said, "Yeah. Trust the guy with my life "

"That's good to know. it's interesting though, you look almost identical to him. Are you related to him ore something?"

Fang said, "Not to my knowledge. All I know about my biological family, is that dad was an American, and mom came from London "

"It's just uncanny how much you resemble him is all."

Fang replied "I've heard that."

"Yeah. Anyway, is the C.O. available? I need to properly introduce myself.

Fang said, "Yeah. I'll show you in "

"Thank you." He follows Fang into Max's office.

Max is doing her paperwork, when they walk in

Fang yelled, "Max!"

"Huh? Fang? What do you want?" She looks over and sees Hunnicutt. "Oh."

BJ asked You're the commanding officer?"

"Yeah, that would be me." She said standing up and going over to greet him.

BJ extended his hand, "Captain BJ Hunnicutt "

"Captain Max Ride." She shakes his hand.

BJ said , "Unique last name. You have any relatives in California? Could swear I've heard the name, 'Ride' before"

"Not that I know of, though it is possible."

"Well, either way, it's nice to know you."

"You too. I got to say captain, you have a very impressive resume."

"Thank you. I understand you're.. A bit young to be in the army.. Yet you're commanding officer

"Yeah, our last C.O. took me on personally, and eventually made me his second in command, even above Frank. Now that he's gone it's my job to keep this place in order."

BJ said, "Oh. Well.. Seems like you've got a lot to deal with. Wounded, Avian DNA, a young telepath.. And Frank"

"Right... Wait! You know about us?!" She seemed surprised at this, then she recalled who she let go to get him. "Did Iggy tell you?"

"He told me that you are the CO. And that you are all pretty young.. he accidentally spread his wings"

"Ah, I see. Well, I hope you can keep a secret then."

"Nothing to worry about there, Ma'am"

Max replied "I hope so, having us here helps hide us a little, but we have had others come in for our past."

BJ said, "I understand. So.. How's life in command been treating you?"

Max answered, "It's taxing, especially with people like Ferret Face here, but it's not something I hate, after all the only alternative would be giving frank full control of this base."

BJ asked,"I was told a little about Frank. Is he really as bad as Iggy describes him?"

Max said, in fury,Let's put it this way. We once had a deal with the Chinese to get some of our men back because they couldn't treat them properly, Frank went with them. He brought a gun with him, dispite them telling us not to bring weapons and almost compromised the whole thing."

"Well.. He's definitely something

Max chuckled, "Understatement of the century."

BJ asked,"Well.. If any other officer came along, and took command..How would you feel?"

She sighed. "I'm not sure."

BJ asked "Why not?"

"Lt. Colonel Henry Blake was one of a kind, no one was like him. I'm not sure how I would ha does someone taking his old position."

"I understand"

BJ saluted, knowing that he and Max respected each other. Max liked him. She could tell, he'd do well with them.

The next day.. Something big would happen.

(Next time.. Potter comes.)


	21. An attack And the new CO

(Next day. MASH 4077.)

Radar and Angel, were all giving mail out. Doing their typical duties. When they found something interesting.. They walked over to Max's office.

Angel, "Max.. We have new CO, in a few hours.. Frank's not gonna be happy "

Max was surprised, "What do you mean we have a new C.O.? When did this happen?"

"Uh.. New orders. I corps. He's coming in a few hours" Radar said, afraid of Max's reaction.

Max sighed "Alright, good to know." She walks over to her desk to think. "Lets see if we can have some basic order here for that day then." While, if was true.. She didn't think anyone could Henry's place... She was tired of the stress of command. Leading the Flock was easy.. Commanding the 4077.. Was difficult. However, she was relieved that someone was coming to take the pressure off her.

Angel smirked, "Yeah. But. Should I tell Frank now.. Or wait till the new CO gets here? "

"Hmm..." Max smirked, "Lets let it be a surprise and, lets let Frank's be Frank's."

Angel said, "Okay." She went to her own office. Max was finishing up her final paperwork as Commander of the 4077

Later , Frank came into Max's office

"Yo. What brings you here Frank?"

Burns said, "Captain.. I came to see if there was anything I should be aware of"

Angel,stated, sarcastic, "Yeah, your discharge came today"

Frank said, not impressed, "Very funny"

Max asked, annoyed,"What is it, Frank?"

"I came to see you, and Radar. To see if any letters came in for me.. And discus our new Captain"

Max wasn't surprised "So you just want to talk about Hunnicutt. Unless you suddenly had a change of heart and actually want to take your marriage seriously."

Burns became defensive "I'll have you know, that my marriage is sacred !

Max replied, taking shots, "Is that why you go into Houlihan's tent for hours? To lecture her on the sanctity of marriage?"

Frank said , twitching, "Captain.. I'm trying to be a respectful officer, as your joint commander. But, it's difficult when you call my marriage onto question!"

"Then ask me what you want to know, and be polite and maybe i can be more cooperative!" Max snapped, honestly, dealing with him is exhausting enough.

Burns asked, "How long is Hunnicutt to sleep on unassigned quarters ?"

"He won't be for long, in fact, I want him with you and Hawkeye in the Swamp."

Burns said , "Very well, I suppose I can make room for him." He Whispered, hoping to get what he wanted, "And perhaps you could have Pierce moved?

Max said, pretending she couldn't hear him,"What was that?"

Frank said, annoyed, "Could you have Pierce moved?

"Nope." She simply said with a smile.

Frank became annoyed, "May I ask why not?

"Because there is no where else to put him, because that is where the doctor's are supposed to go, and because I said so."

Frank said, "Very well.. I suppose I'll just check the mail then"

Angel stated "No one got mail today. Well.. No personal mail, just stuff for the unit

Frank asked "What do you mean?"

Angel said, "Just some orders for the unit."

Frank said, becoming defensive again, "What new orders? As joint commander, it's my duty to know"

Max rolled her eyes,"Just keep doing what your doing, I'm just making sure everything is in order."

Angel said, "Yeah. Keep a good hold, Frank. You won't be joint command, much longer."

"Shh, Angel, you're ruin the surprise."

Frank asked, curious, "Surprise?" He'd thought, by what Angel said.. These children would finally be sent somewhere else.. Making him sole commander of the 4077.

"Don't worry about it. Just take my advice and do what you always do."

Frank salutes and leaves.

Angel asked, smirking "So.. When do you want to tell him!

Max said"I want him to find out for himself, just to see how he handles surprises like that."

Angel smiled "Alright. I set up the bug in Margaret's tent. You know he'll be there soon

Max said, "Nice work. Alright, lets get ready to listen in.

Frank discovers the letter for the new Commander. He didn't take if well

Margaret said, "I must say, you're being very mature"

Frank,screamed like a child, "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! " He collapses on her brd

Max, Angel and whoever else is there is having a blast listening in.

Burns shouted , "I already wrote mommy."

Margaret, tried to console him"I'm sure your mother will understand."

Frank said, I meant my wife "

Margaret became angry, "BUZZ OFF!

Max said, "He really need to know when to keep his mouth shut sometimes."

Angel said, "Well, I think we should tell the Flock about our new Commander

Fang turns visible

Max sighed "I agree, starting with the person in the room with us." She turned over to Fang.

Fang said, "Hey."

Max said, "So I assume you heard about our conversation."

Fang said, snarky, "You mean about a new commander and Frank writing to wife?"

Max smirked, "That be the one."

Fang asked, "So when's he coming?

Max replied, "Tomorrow. That's why I want this base looking semi functional."

Fang scoffed, "Good luck with that."

Max sarcastically replied, "Thanks, something tells me I'm gonna need it."

Fang sighed, "Well, I'll tell Nudge to get our quarters ready for your return

"You know how to make a guy feel welcome, huh?" Max said with a smirk.

Fang smirked, "Where I excel." He left, to prepare everything for their new boss.

Later that night

Burns, after Margaret told him to buzz off, sat in the swamp.

" I will NOT accept this!"He didn't think there needed to be a new commander. Was he not sufficient enough?

Hawkeye was in the tent, still working off a hangover. "Could you keep it down Frank, I'm about ready to throw up the bar from earlier."

Burns says nothing.. Awaiting their pass out. As it comes.. He goes AWOL.

Meanwhile.. One who'd tracked them for months.. Knowing Frank, was the only one who carried a gun.. Smirked as he left, "While the Major's away.. The birds, and wolf.. Will play "

Later that night, Hawkeye woke up from his nap, still not fully over his hangover, but was at least we'll enough to go to the bathroom. He got up groggily and went to the toilets. After he was done, he ran back into Fang.

"Hey, Hawk

"Hey there kid."

"So. You drunk again?

"Nah, just getting over a hangover."

"Ah. Well, Iggy want to talk to you and I'm pretty sure Frank just went AWOL

AWOL? What did McArthur send home a let with less than three X's and O's?"

Fang said, "I think I just saw him, leave through the Forrest

"Well if you ask me, I say we let him go free to be with his own kind."Hawkeye said, remembering his hostility towards Burns.

Fang got a chuckle out of that, "Well. When the new CO arrives, with the name 'Frank Burns ' on the roster, and there's no Frank herem Max will be pissed

Hawkeye sighs. "Alright, but I'm not cleaning up after him again, and your handling the nudering."

They go to look for him.

Fang yelled, "Frank! If you can hear me.. A new Commander is not the end of the world!"

"Frank!" As they began to search, The Eraser snuck into camp.

Angel began to stir in her sleep as she received the thoughts of the maddened Eraser. Radar was the first to noticed this of the youngest.

Radar became uncomfortable, "Angel! What's wrong?!" Notices Eraser

Angel woke up screaming bloody murder.

Radar asked, "What is i-" Puts on glasses and sees Eraser" WOLFMAN!"

He let out a blood curdling howl before grabbing a jeep and tossing it towards them.

Radar grabs their respective Teddy bears, and Angel jumps up, wings and all

Everyone wakes.

The jeep misses them, but that didn't stop him from running through the rest of the camp, causing havoc wherever he went.

Fang said, "Sounded like the camp's in chaos

Hawkeye, "Isn't it always?"

The rogue Eraser continued to attack the cam until Max and Nudge intervened to stop it. THis one was much bigger than the ones they had faced before though, so fighting it was gonna be more of a challenge.

This also catches Gazzy and Mulchay's attention.

Mulchay, "What is that ?"

An Eraser father, and a big one too!"

Mulcahy asked in fear, "Eraser?!"

Fang runs in from the woods, and told Mulcahy, "Another one of Mengele's sick experiments!" There were a good chunk of Erasers in the lab, in Vienna. They were told the British and the Russians killed the last of them.. Guess they missed one.

Looks like he ate a lot of his veggies too." Said Hawkeye, observing how big it was.

"Father, would it be against the Bible to protect the camp from it?" Gazzy asked, wanting o help fight it.

"To my knowledge, it's a sin to kill your fellow man.. But, I don't think God will object to killing Nazis

Gazzy smirked and opened his wings and went to help fight it.

Iggy hears what's going on. He sighs, "Dammit, Mengele!" He'd hoped the last of these things had been destroyed... Apparently not.

"You wouldn't happen to have any silver bullets at hand would you?" B.J. half joked when he saw the Eraser.

Father Mulcahy, confused, replied,"No.. But let's hurry"

BJ said, "Right. What should we do?"

Iggy simply said, "We fight. At least till someone saves our sorry asses." He didn't like fighting Erasers.. But it had to be done. He'd fought before.. Especially, there were a few Erasers back in the states.. But none as big as this one before.

Though not many of them could fight.. The 4077.. (With a returning for some odd reason Frank).. Have the Eraser beat.

It became furious. It yelled, charging at Max, "For the Fuhrer!"

An unfamiliar voice yells, "THE FUHRER'S DEAD!"

"Huh?" Max said before she heard the screeching of wheels coming their way.

The Eraser screamed, "WHO DARES YELL SUCH LIES?!'

"Me!" Yelled a man before driving s jeep into the Eraser, he tried to claw his way up but he was rammed into one of the surgical tents, which sliced him up good.

He groans in pain. Soon, he dies

They all go see who the mysterious stranger was.

Iggy said, "Damn. You're awesome. You killed Nazis before?

"In a manner of speaking." The old man said before stepping out of the Jeep.

Fang walks up, to check the Eraser, "It's dead." Looks to the man in the jeep, "Who are you?"

My name is Colonel Sherman T. Potter, newly appointed C.O. of the 4077 M*A*S*H unit."


	22. Getting to know Colonel Potter

Everyone stood in awe at this new commanding officer

.

Iggy , Fang, and Nudge are surprised.. But salute. Gazzy and Angel just stand there.

Max introduces herself.

"Captain Max Ride, current CO of the 4077. Well, former now I guess.

Fang decided to introduce himself, "Name's Fang. Sergeant, Secondary Chief Surgeon. Where do you want your stuff?"

"Anywhere that isn't torn to shreds."

The rest of the Flock introduced themselves

While, initially surprised by their age, he really was in no position to question after what he did, nor the wings they have, not yet at least.

Angel smiled, , "I'm secondary clerk, I'll take stuff to your tent

"Thank you." He smiled at her gently.

She gets onto the Jeep, and picks up the Colonel's stuff.

Nudge, looked down and asked. "Sure you don't need help with that? "

"I'll be fine. Angel said picking some things up.

Colonel Potter helped her as well.

Fang sighed, "Welcome, Colonel, to the 4077. Hope you enjoy your war

"Well it wouldn't be the first time I was in war, lets just hope its the last."

"Here, here." Hawkeye said, recovering from being thrown into the cafeteria.

Iggy said , "You and BJ took quite a beating, Hawk. You alright?

Well, other than a few cracked ribs and a broken nose, I think I'll be back to my handsome self in a few days."

They all laugh at that. Fangsaid, This is my boss, Captain Pierce, Chief Surgeon. A wisecracker"

"Nice to meet you, Pierce."

"Same." They shake hands.

Fang said, "Well Colonel.. You've met Pierce.. Once we get this place fixed up.. Max may want to show you her office "

"Sounds good to me."

They fix up the OR, and escort Colonel Potter to his office

"Very nice." He said, looking around the office.

Fang steps in, holding a picture, "This yours?

He looks at the picture.

Angel gave it to me. Said it was in the Colonel's bag

Yeah, that me with my wife, Mildred."

Angel brings in another picture. She asks, "Is this you, with the other men on horses, Colonel?"

"Oh, yes ma'am that is, that was me with my old unit back in 1917."

Angel asked, "You were in WWI?

Colonel Potter smiled "Yes ma'am. I was a part if the 1st Calvary Division back in 1917."

Fang asked , "How'd you get in?"

"What do you mean?"

Fang elaborated, "Into the Army. You look younger, than the rest of the Calvary in this picture"

"Huh , good eye. Alright, what I say stays in this room though."

Angel smiled , "You can trust us, Colonel"

"Alright, when I first joined the Army, I was only 15, but I manage to hide my age and get in regardless of that fact."

Fang simply said, "Nice

"This stays between us, understood?"

"If you can keep out secret," holds up one of own feathers, "We'll keep yours"

"Fair enough, though I'm surprised no one noticed them while you were fighting that thing."

"Well.. They know"

Potter was surprised, "Wait, the whole camp knows about this?"

Iggy said, "Well..The Father, Head Nurse, Surgeons, Radar and Frank"

As Colonel Potter nodded in agreement, Max said, "Alright then. Speaking of Frank, where is he?"

Fang said, He went out into the woods, when he heard there's a new Commander

Max sighed. "Well we beat go get him before she does anything stupid."

"What about the OR? Shouldn't we fix it

"Yes, we need a small search party for Frank, But the rest of us should worry about getting the OR back up and running."

Fang said, "Okay. Hawk, BJ, Iggy, come with me to find Frank. Gazzy, you and the Father see to everyone who got wounded by the Eraser.. Max.. Command everyone else it's your and the Colonel's job

"Got it." Max said before everyone left to fulfill their jobs.

Potter, asked, "Captain Max..can you tell me, in detail.. How six kids and a dog ended up in Korea?

Max sighed,"Well, have you ever heard of an agent named Flagg?"

Potter said, only knowing the reputation, "A CIA stooge, he was a Sergeant in WWII

Max replied,c"Yep, and apparently, while our parents were in London, he thought it would be a brilliant idea to drafts all of us, with the exception of my half sister Ella, and half Brother Ari."

Potter asked, concerned for the family's safety , "Where'd they go?"

Max looked down. I hope they went with our parents. But knowing Flagg, who knows where they ended up.

Potter said, "Whatever it's worth.. I heard something about a kid named, 'Ari' in a boarding school in Ohio"

Max smiled, "Thanks." She softens up a little.

Potter sad"Well.. You six can fly.. But.. What's with Sergeant Fang and the British phrases? Or those younger two speaking French?"

Max shrugged her shoulders, "They just like their roots I guess. Never got it myself either, but I grew up with it so i'm used to it." And.. In Max's opinion.. Fang was kind of cute, when he talked all British

Potter said , "I see. They haven't parents from Britain and France?" He knew immigrants in the army was common.. But, these kids seemed very American. Besides.. He had to test Max.

Max replied, "They probably did have parents from there, but they were taken from them at birth." Aside from Max.. None of the Flock had ever met their families,.. As those families were killed when they were taken.

Potter sighed , "Mengele. Bastard." Josef Mengele was the most infamous scientist in the entire Third Reich. Head if the experiment that created the Flock.

Max mumbled,"I'd use harsher words, but that works just as good." She was only three when American troops came and got her out of the lab.. But, she remembered everything Mengele and his associates did to them, in the first three years of her life.

Potter takes out Max and the Flock's records. He was very impressed.

"Nice work, all of you. Surprised you haven't left feathers in your patients, but still nice work

Max chuckled, "Thank you sir, and baby birds don't lose feather that easily."

Potter said, After you find your jackass, I'd like to talk to each of you six." He had something to tell them, once they were done looking for the garbage officer.

After finding Burns.. Colonel Potter wanted to interview the other officers (including the newly found Major).. But, an inflow of wounded came.

Everyone rushed to the newly-rebuilt OR . Ready to help the wounded. However.. Everyone was unsure of the new commanding officer.

Max kneeled down to Angel's level, "Did you find anything new on him?" She knew that, if this man was to be her mentor.. She'd need to know, how good of a surgeon he was.

Angel whispered, "Radar and I did some research. He's mostly an administrator. He hasn't even been in an operating room for two years."

Max said, bearing a smirk, "Did you help Radar do the research, or did you read his mind?"

Angel sighed, "You know, I haven't been able to read Radar's mind, since that.. Incident with the Nazi." Angel could read the mind of anyone else on the planet.. But, she couldn't read Radar's mind.

(She attempted to read Burns' mind once.. But there was nothing there.)

Max chuckled, "Alright. Well, we have to help the wounded. So let's go." They all scrubbed, dried and got into surgical gear.

Iggy turned to Nudge, "If Potter does anything wrong.. Give me, or one of the others a shoulder tap or something."

Nudge replied, "Right." She kissed his cheek and put on a surgical mask, "Good luck."

They went into the OR.. Everyone was astounded. Surprisingly, Potter was one of the next surgeons they'd ever seen.

Eventually, once the wounded were all cared for, everyone walked out of OR. Potter commented, "Guess surgery is like riding a bicycle. Once you learn it, it sticks with you." He put his hands on his back, "Wish it didn't cause my back to lock up though. "

Fang said, "Here." He got behind the Colonel and cracked his back for him,

Potter said, "Oh! Thanks, Sergeant." He sighed, "If this is what things are like, everyday here.. I could use a belt."

Iggy smiled, as he walked by the Colonel, "I know just the place.."

They took the long walk over to Hawkeye and BJ's tent. They spent the rest of the night drinking and bonding.

Potter said, "I'll speak to the six of you, now. We'll start with the little French girl

Angel walked up, What do you want to know?"

Potter asked, "You personally. As well as what you can do

Angel smiled, "Oh, um well." She begins to explain her back story a little.

Potter smiled, "I remember the day you were born. I was on the beaches, dodging machine gun fire. But you are.. interesting case

Angel was confused, "How so?"

Potter stood as still as can be. He said, "I was with the party that liberated you. You don't remember?"

Her eyes widen a little as her memories started to food in.

Potter said, to Max, "What's up with her eyes?

Angel stood there, with a look of fear on her face, "I'm just... remembering, they are so vivid." She said as she flashed back to that time, however, she accidentally bought them along due to her telepathy.

The memories of the beaches of Normandy.

Potter, then Captain, leads his men, "COME ON! " They trudge through the Atlantic. They saw Max's father (ironically a Sergeant).

Potter (flashback), "The hell are you doing ? !"

They followed him.

It all seemed surreal to them to see all of this, they knew it happened, they knew it happened, and it all seemed real. But they all knew it wasn't really happening, at least not now, this was a past event.

Potter yelled, seeing Baby Angel, "This is what these Nazi bastards were doing?"

Potter saw the guards. He ordered the others, "Get her and the dog out." As they get Angel and other experiments out.. He yells to the remaining men, "FIRE!"

The infant Angel began to cry at all the sound around her.

Potter yelled, "Someone comfort her !" Potter was medic and a soldier. He couldn't comfort a baby

One of the younger soldiers, a rookie by the name of Nickles got the baby and tried to comfort it while all of this was going on.

Potter angrily turned to Jeb, "Sergeant.. When this battle is done.. I want to talk to you, about this."

Nickels tried best he could to comfort the baby. Eventually, after a while.. Succeeding.

Soon, the lab was destroyed. The only German survivor.. Mengele. He escaped.. But Potter shot him in the back. Causing him to crawl away.

The three plus the infant Angel were now recovering from battle.

They checked her body for wounds, finding a minor one as the boat came to escort her back to the States.

Potter angrily turned to Jeb "Now.. What the hell was Mengele doing in that lab?

Potter stood, seeing all of the destruction around him. Taking in the horror and glory of D-Day.

"Are you okay, sir?" Asked Nickels who was still holding Angel.

Potter said, Yes. Just... Amazed. Yet horrified at the same time"

Potter said,"Well, there is still one question."

Nichols said, "And just what would that be?"

"What are we going to do with her?" Asked the commander, pointing at the Baby Angel.

The soldier holding her said, "Give me ten minutes

Nichols said, "Alright then."

After ten minutes (and some well needed Nazi killing) Potter turned to a certain Sergeant

He said, "You been here before?

Jeb sighed, "Unfortunately." He stood up "This doesn't have the best memories for me."

Potter asked, confused, "Has that Madman Mengele done this before?" If he had.. Just another addition to the long list of crimes committed by the Reich.

Jeb nods. "At least five other times, however, this is the first time she did it with siblings."

Potter said, horrified by this, "I'll be dammed. Do you know any of the others?

Jeb clarified, "Beyond this one, no. Unfortunately we can only getting to these as they come."

Jeb said"Well. I take her home." He took care of the first five, he can take care of the sixth.

Potter declared, "You seem to know the other five. If you know how to take care of this girl, take her to the States

Jeb replied, "That was my original intention, Sir. Thank you."

Potter said, "We'll carry on without you" He gives the infant a smile

The infant infant looks up and giggles cutely at him.

Potter said, watching flashback)

"That was the first time I saw you.. And the last time I saw that particular soldier"

Max looked on a little surprised. "I have a hard time believing he was a soldiers."

Potter asked , (as flashback end) "You know him?

Max looks shocked at this question.

Potter, asked, "Do you know that soldier?

Max confirmed, "Jeb Batchelder. Yeah, I know him."

Potter asked, "May I ask, how you know him, Captain?"

Max chuckled, "He, well he raised us, all of us, taught us what we needed to k ow in order to survive." She took out a picture from her pocket, "He's also my dad."

Well.. From what I hear.. He taught you well"

"Yeah, he really did."

Iggy asked, "Wait. . Does that mean. . You help us all get back to the States? "

Potter said, "I did. But, until liberating Angel. . I didn't know what the enemy did to you. Now I do."

Max muttered, "Well. . That explains all the birthday presents from 'the Colonel' all these years."

Angel regains her focus. "Hey, whatever happened to Nickols anyway?"

Potter shook his head. Indicating that Nichols had something terrible happen. He said, "Well.. Let's get down to it" He got up, "I intend to make this office my own. Move that Cabinet." He felt the cabinet would do better, closer to his deck

"Heh, yes sir." Fang, Iggy, and Max help him to fix up the office

.Once the office is fixed up, he looks at Angel's records, "The other five have plenty good records. But you and your Captain have the best"

"Well thank you sir." Angel said, smilingly cutely at him.

Potter said, "Alright.. I'll get to know you. All six of you, one by one, for the next few days"

Angel asked, "Does that mean we are dismissed for now?"

Potter said, "For now. Yes :

Everyone walked back to their tents . Glad to have a CO like Potter

(One week later )

Potter had shown. . He was a near perfect commanding officer. And a,skilled surgeon.

One day, after a long OR session. . The Flock had decided to take the rest of the day off, relaxing in their tent.

However. . A patent came. . To offer Hawkeye a favor. . In exchange for keeping his medical records secret.

Sometime after that. . Snipers came and attacked the camp.

The Flock huddled together, to protect each other from the snipers.

Max simply said, "Don't worry, guys. . We'll think of something." She held everyone as close as possible. She thought, 'At least. . I hope we do."

Hawkeye called in his favor. . The patient in question. . Was commander of a tank battalion.

Everyone felt, ironically safer. Until. . Burns showed off. . Just how stupid he was.

Burns said to Margaret, "I'm serious. I took a class on driving a tank in school. They said I had the same killer instinct as Patton!" Burns got in the tank. . And, started to accidentally destroy the entire camp .

After Burns had been stopped. . Potter said, "Burns. . You are paying for everything, in this camp. . WITH YOUR OWN MONEY!"

Every last cent in Burns paycheck .. Both, military and medical paycheck. At this point. . Had it not been for his wife. . Burns would be broke.

(Three weeks later. )

Colonel Potter decided to write home to his wife.

He wrote, "Dear Mildred. It breaks my heart, that we are once again, on two separate continents , during our anniversary. But. . I must say. . This camp is. . Rather interesting."

Potter wrote about. . Just about everyone in camp. Even the Flock.

Meanwhile. . Radar was having trouble. Potter was so different from Colonel Blake. Henry Blake was like Radar's father.

Fang, Iggy and Angel came up. Angel asked, "Radar. . Is there something we can do to help? "

Radar thought about "We could try."

Fang had an idea, "It's Potter's anniversary, tomorrow. Let's do something nice for him."

Angel remembered, "Hey! When the mail was dropped off. . The mail delivery officer said, there was in the area."

Iggy chuckled, "I know Henry let you two keep as many pets as you want. But, Potter isn't Henry."

Angel sighed, "Not for us. . For him."

Quickly, everyone understood what their little French telepath was saying. The three Flock members flew low, as Radar followed them in a truck. Spotting the horse.

Fang quickly roped the horse, and gently loaded it onto the truck . They went back to camp, and got instructions for treating the horse.

Later.. They decided to show the horse (who they'd discovered was female) to Colonel Potter. Potter was amazed.

He said, "A beautiful horse."

Angel and Radar said, "A gift from us to you."

Potter said, "Thank you both, so much."

They kept the horse, and kept her a secret from HQ. Colonel Potter named her, "Sophie."


	23. More dog days

(I decided to give a surprise chapter.)

(MASH 4077. One month after Colonel Potter took command).

Colonel Potter sat at his desk. Doing his typical boring paperwork. Angel and her dog walked in, "Morning, Colonel."

Potter replied, "Good morning, Frenchie." He saw her struggling to carry another stack of paperwork. Half of it his, the other divided among her and Radar. He said, "you sure you don't need help with that, Angel?"

Angel said, "No, I've got it." She put the papers for Potter on his desk, and took the others to hers and Radar's own desk. She said, "Radar's off delivering the mail, so I figured I'd take care of the clerk duty before he gets back." She put her paperwork on her side of the desk, and Radar's work on his side.

Suddenly Radar walked in. He sat down, "too much mail for one person." He looked Angel.

The little French girl sighed, "You want me to take half?" She was always happy to help Radar in any of his duties. But hated when he tried to avoid asking for help.

Radar said, smiling, "Would you?"

Angel smiled, "Sure." They left together, leaving the dog in the Colonel's office.

Total walked up to Potter's desk. Potter was making himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He said, seeing the dog, "Hey, boy." He finished making his sandwich, "It's amazing .. You can requisition combat supplies easy.. But medical supplies, and simple foods.. They don't sent to give you. You have to either trade something, or pay money you don't have." He muttered, "This might be the only peanut butter and jelly I get for a year."

Total said to his new CO, "So.. You gonna share any?"

Potter seemed surprised. He said, "You know.. When I liberated those kids from Mengele's lab.. I recall seeing a dog.. But I had no idea what the "Angel of Death.." Could've done to a dog.." He looked to Total, "I guess now I know."

Total said, "Yes. I can talk.. And I shall continue to do so. So.. I ask again, Colonel.. You gonna share that peanut butter."

Potter sighed, "I guess so." He gave the dog some peanut butter in a spoon, "Here you are."

The dog took all the peanut butter. He said, "Wonderful. Now, I gues-" He suddenly stopped. He tried to keep talking.. But all that came out were barks.

Potter smiled, "I guess peanut butter shuts you up." He continued to eat his sandwich, and then resumed his paperwork.

Angel came in, "I never would've guessed." She opened her dog's mouth, "Out of everything.. It's peanut butter, that makes you shut up!" She giggled, "I have to tell the others!"

She spread her wings through her uniform, and flew off to the Flock's tent.

Potter looked at the dog, "Private.. One thing I want to say to you.. This camp is already full of crazy things. I don't need guests running asking about the talking dog." Total only nodded.. But Potter was never sure.

But,, for 24 hours.. The camp did it's job.. Without the distraction of a talking dog.

(Next day).

BJ Hunnicutt sat in his tent, enjoying a Bourbon.. When total ran into the tent. BJ said, "Hi, boy." He took a drink, "So.. What can I do for you?"

The dog jumped his unusual six feet in the air. Landing next to Hunnicutt. He walked over to the Distillery the surgeons kept in their tent. He somehow activated it, and took a drink.

He said, "Refreshing." He stopped. He smiled, "Hey! I can speak again!"

Hawkeye,who'd been sleeping, woke to the sound, "Oh, good. Just when I was finally starting to enjoy Korea."

BJ said, "So.. You hear him too?" Hawkeye nodded, "Good, then I'm not too drunk."

Hawkeye said, "There is no such thing as too drunk, in Korea."

BJ looked to the dog, "So.. You talk?"

Total said, "Since World War II. Yep."

BJ said, "Hawkeye.. I have officially seen everything."

(Okay.. So now everyone in camp.. Knows total can talk. All for now. )


	24. Promotion

(MASH 4077, late at night.)

Radar walked into his office.. Seeing that Angel had fallen asleep at her desk.. Her dog standing in front of her

Radar examined the records of the Flock, since they got to the unit.. He sighed, "It's amazing how much work they put in. They deserve something." He suddenly thought of something..

He went into his desk, and found a note left behind by Colonel Flagg from his last visit.. The name of three of Flagg's superiors. He thought exactly what they deserve for their hard work.

He carried Angel back to the Flock's quarters. Trying to avoid his eyes as the older four members of the Flock slept.. 'In a state of nature.' He put Angel into the bed she shared with her older brother, Gazzy.

He returned to his office, seeing Total standing guard.. And, making remarks about Klinger in his sleep. Radar went back to his desk.. And dialed the number

(Next day. )

The wounded flooded in as usual. But, behind the bus carrying them. . Were four individuals

Three of these individuals were disguised.

One of these four individuals, was, ironically.. The only one not disguised.. Colonel Flagg.

Fang walked up to Flagg, "Hello, dumbass." He always expressed his disdain for Flagg. Everyone who knew Flagg, did. He was just a person.. Very easy to hate.

Flagg, replied, "Fang, my boy. . Good to see you too. "

Hawkeye asked, "So.. Who are these friends of yours? "

The two women, were in nurses uniforms. They looked almost exactly the same. Except for the fact that, one had blonde hair, while the other had brown.

The other man in the jeep was tall. About 7 or maybe 8 feet tall. Dressed as a Corpsman.

Flagg said , obviously lying, " New recruits."

Fang however, looked at the blonde woman. . He knew her

The blonde woman herself tried not to make too much eye contact as she also recognized Fang and wanted to try and keep it a secret.

"Yeah... Lets do that." Said Fang not really taking his eyes off of her.

During surgery, Fang had a hard time focusing with the blonde from before working as his nurse for some reason. Something Hawkeye took notice of.

Hawkeye asked, " Something bothering you, kid? "

He snapped out of it for a moment and looked at Hawkeye. "Its nothing, sorry." He went back to his patient.

Meanwhile , the rest of the medical staff, was mildly uncomfortable, being watched by CIA agents

Frank himself, in spite of his fanatical patriotism, felt like he was the one being watched the most.

He said, "Colonel Flagg, with all due respect . Can you ask your. . Associates not to watch? "

"No can do." Flagg said as he sucessfully looked like he pretended to know what he was doing.

The tall man of the CIA agents walked up to Burns, "Major. . Are you sure your patient is alright?"

"Well of course he is!" Burns yelled.

"Frank there is one of our most medicre taxidirmists." Hawkeye quipped.

"He should have him looking half dead in no time." B.J. followed up.

"Oh quite, both of you!"

The operative spoke in a thick Texas accent, "You two must be Pierce and Hunnicutt."

"I don't know, what do you think Pierce?" Asked Hawkeye to B.J.

"Might sound right to me Hunnicutt." B.J. Said to Hawkeye.

The Texan laughed, "I don't know why Flagg makes such a big deal about you two. You're hilarious!"

"It could be my dashing good looks." Hawkeye said

Flagg scoffed.

After which. . The CIA operatives looked at the Flock. The blonde shooting an angry look at Flagg

Flagg said to her, "I did what I felt I needed to do."

"By sending them to a war zone?" She whispered angrily.

Flagg replied, "please, ma'am.. Right now, I ask you not make a fuss."

Colonel Potter remarked, "Funny, I thought that was all you do in the CIA."

The Texan operative chuckled. He whispered, knowing no one could hear, "Same old Sherman Potter."

The blond and Flagg continued their argument, tell Potter said, "Okay, enough! If you two aren't going to help.. Take it outside!"

After that, the three other operatives took down notes on the Flock.. Believing that everything Radar told them was true.

Max and Fang shared the same look. What is Flagg planning? And how does it concern them. This will call for a Flock meeting after this.

The session finished.. The CIA operatives looked at their notes and went outside.

Max called for a flock meeting

The Flock met in their quarters. Nudge was the first to ask, "So.. Why's dummy here?"

Everyone showed up. "Wild guess, its about the wacko calling himself a CIA agent." Asked Iggy.

Max said, "Correct. We need to figure what he's planning." She was always concerned when Flagg was around. It rarely meant anything good.

Fang said, "That won't be easy." He knew Flagg wouldn't just tell then what he wanted. Making it even worse to guess his motives.

"He's been keeping himself blocked off from me too." Said Angel. She couldn't read Flagg's thoughts. Usually, she could read him (and everyone except Radar, for that matter) like an open book. But.. For Flagg to be able, to block himself off.. Was kinda scary.

Nudge said, "Well.. That's not good." If Flagg can block himself off from Angel.. They have no way of knowing what he's thinking.. Or, if he's going to endanger them.

Gazzy said, "Well.. I doubt he's here to cleanse his soul." As long as he'd known Flagg.. He never saw him do anything with religion. Even saw Flagg, smacking people on the head, just for praying.

Max said, sarcastically,"Yeah, I doubt he's the religious sort." She knew Flagg probably wasn't big on God.. And if he was.. He probably didn't consider himself a sinner

Angel said, "Oh, that reminds me. We got a new patient. He's a friend of Father Mulcahy." She turned to her brother, "And, I guess a friend of yours too."

Gazzy asked, "What are you talking about?"

Angel said, "This captain, who didn't tags.. We asked him who he was.. And he said, he was Jesus Christ."

Max said, "Interesting,, but, we can worry about that later.

Gazzy suggested, "Is that what Flagg's here for?" Flagg would always be around people like that. Thinking they're suspicious

A voice behind their tent said, "No." They looked to see the blond from earlier. She said, "But, don't worry. That Captain will be taken to Major Freedman."

"You think Freeman can do anything for him?" Angel asked, in concern for that soldier.

She said, smiling, "Don't worry. He's in good hands."

They all sighed.

The blond said, "C'mon.. It's time for your ceremony"

"Ceremony?" They all asked. They had no idea of what kinda ceremony could take place for then., they'd only been in the army, a few months..

She lead them outside, to find that.. The entire MASH unit had gathered in one part of the camp.

Flagg was talking to Potter. They couldn't hear what Flagg said.. But they knew what Colonel Potter said. He said, "I'm not fond of personal abuse Colonel. I was in this man's army, when the only thumb you cared about.. Was the one in your mouth."

Meanwhile.. Flagg's superiors had changed into different uniforms. The tall man from Texas approached Potter.. The two hugged, as if they were old friends.

Angel tried to read their minds to see who that is, since she can 't see well with his back turned to them.

Potter took note of this. The whole company stared at the two. Potter said to the tall man, "Introduce yourself, sir."

The man chuckled, introducing himself to the entire MASH, "My name is Dusty. General Dusty . Chief assistant director of the CIA."

Everyone took notice of the four stars, on his collar and saluted. Including the, incredibly worried, Burns and Houlihan.

Margaret asked, "Uh. Colonel.. How do you know the General?" She knew Potter was a close friend of many one star generals, and a few two stars.. But she had no idea, who he knew a four star General.

Potter chuckled, "He was my commanding officer, in WWI."

The Flock seemed genuinely surprised at that fact. They knew Colonel Potter was a veteran of both World Wars.. But they never expected to meet his old commanding officer.

"Wait, what is this all about? Why is your old CO here?"asked Max, starting to get annoyed at all the questions.

Dusty said, "See, Captain. . Your company clerk , Corporal O'Riley. . Gave me a call on the telephone." He looked at the cards he brought along, "Told me all about the six of you. Said I should give you something."

Max looked at Radar, "What did he say?" She knew Radar had a tendency to mention things, that were supposed to be kept secret. She couldn't blame him for making mistakes, everyone does. But.. Say he said something, the Flock wouldn't a CIA four star General to know.

Radar said, nervous of what Max would do, "N-Nothing bad you guys... I just... Maybe told him about... How you guys have been working hard and well..." He stopped

Anne walked out , in her CIA uniform. She said , "He thought you deserved a reward." She introduced herself to the MASH, shaking Hawkeye's hand, "Brigadier General Anne Walker, CIA."

Hawkeye sarcastically replied, "Funny. Thought your tags said CIS."

She rolled her eyes and hugged the Flock.

Just as everyone was about to ask. . Max said, "Anne's a friend of our mother."

Anne said, "With all my heart

Dusty said, "Alright. Let's get on with it

"Could you guys tell me about the other mysterious beautiful women that you or your parents know?" Asked Hawkeye.

Dusty said, "Easy, Captain.." He gestured to the young brown haired woman, "That is my niece, Jane Wolford. Colonel to you."

She chuckled, "It's okay, General. Max's father and I, attended the same high school.

Anne said, wrapping her arm around Jane, "She's also my twin.

"Good to know." Said Hawkeye as he went to talk with her.

"Later, ceremony first."

Dusty walked up to the podium. He said, over the PA, "Ladies and gentlemen.. These six young people.. Have done superb. They have shown dedication.. Loyalty.. Listened to their respective mentors.. And shown what it means.. To be true blue Americans." He had his three subordinates get six large boxes out of their jeep.

Dusty said, "Their reward.. Promotion!"

Everyone had different reactions to this. Max and moat of the flock were surprised in different ways, including Fang and Iggy who could now offically go into the officers club. Max for now being thr same Rank as people like Burns and Houlihan, putting her in direct competition for second in command this time. Nudge Gazzy and Angel for the extra privledges this gets them, and the fact thst Angel was technically Radars superior.

Hawkeye and B.J were both proud of their pupiles or in Hunnicuts case, adopted pupil. Frank surprised and upset at all of this, Houlihan was proud of Nudge for this, though she didn't show it. And Potter couldn't be prouder either.

Dusty proclaimed, "Now.. Each of their mentors.. Shall give a speech about them.. And I shall promote the young ones. We'll start with the youngest.. And her mentor, Corporal O'Riley."

Radar walked up to the stage, where Dusty was standing.

Before Radar could make his speech.. Dusty felt the need to say something.

The giant of a man said, "Before we continue.. I just want to tell Colonel Dumbass." He looked at Flagg, "That.. Once we're back at HQ.. I'm going to whup your ass *.. Till you don't HAVE an ass anymore."

Flagg walked back in fear. He simply said, "Noted, General." It was well noted that Flagg was afraid of the man. Given that the man was a four star General, and his Frankenstein-esque height.. The fear was understandable.

Dusty said, "Sorry for the interruption, corporal. Proceed."

Radar cleared his throat and made his speech. He said,"I'm not real good at speeches, but here goes." He continued, "I have only known Angel since the war began.. And that was only one year ago. But, in that one year.. I think she's been the finest girl I've ever met. I've gotten know her better than anyone I know, back home in Iowa. In Iowa, if you want something, all you need to do is ask. Angel is kinda the same way." He rubbed the back of his neck, "True.. You kinda have to trade with her, sometimes.. But she'll give you what you ask for. She's been very kind.. If a little scary sometimes. And, in the time I've known her.. She's been kind of like a sister, to me. On a side note, she has been an excellent co-clerk. An expert on filing, mail delivery.. And everything I can't do by myself." He chuckled, "And, going above and beyond the call of duty. I'm glad to see her promoted."

Angel smiled as she heard Radar speak her praises. She started thinking.. Radar considered her a sister.. And she felt the same.

Dusty said, "Corporal, Angel.. Please step forward." As the young girl walked forward, and came up to the stage.. Dusty commented, "When they told me, she was the youngest person in the military.. This is not what I was expecting." He walked over to Flagg.. And punched him in the stomach. Everyone in the crowd, let out a loud gasp.. But soon laughed as well.

Except for Burns. He turned to Colonel Potter, "Did.. Did the General just punch colonel Flagg?" Burns was already afraid of Dusty, for fhe same reasons Flagg was. But.. Knowing what he would do to people who made him angry.. Cemented the fear even further.

Potter commented, "If he didn't, I would've."

Angel giggled at seeing Flagg get hurt. True, she'd been the only Flock member, who was friendly toward Flagg. But she too disliked the CIA bastard for bringing them all to Korea, against their will.

Dusty said, "That.. Was for drafting a child. And if you think that hurt.. Wait till we get back to HQ." . He turned to Angel, and kneeled fine to face her, "Do you know what's in that briefcase?"

Angel said, "No." Somehow, like Radar.. She couldn't read this general's mind.

Dusty said, smiling, "Something for you." He opened the case, "It's my honor.. To promote you.. To the rank of sergeant." He pulled out two new uniform.

Angel's new Class A uniform was.. Almost the same.. Except that it had holes for her wings now.

Her other uniform, was perfectly fitted for his size (her current one was a little loose) and had the three sergeant stripes on the arms.

She said, saluting, "Thank you, General." She took the two uniforms, and got off the stage, with Radar.

Dusty said, "Next.. The assistant chaplain. His mentor, father Mulcahy.. Please come up."

Father Mulcahy came up. He said, "I figured. The boy deserves it."

Dusty took out another case.

Radar read, "Corporal Gazzy Mulcahy-Ride. Please step up." Gazzy walked up.

Dusty hit Flagg in the face, yet again. He yelled, "What in the firey pits of HELL is wrong with you?!"

Radar read, "For being a wonderful assistant Chaplain . A great help in surgery. . And a wonderful friend. "

Father Mulcahy came up. . And finished for Radar. He read, "For outstanding service. . Excellent in confession. . And an excellent friend. .." He stopped reading, "Though. . As a priest, I'm forbidden from having children of my own. . Gazzy is. . Like a son to me."

Mulcahy took the brief case. . And opened it. Showing Gazzy's new uniform. . On one shoulder. . The stripes of a Staff Sergeant. . On the other. . A cross

The boy smiled, and saluted the General. He took the uniforms, amd walked off tue stage with Father Mulcahy

Gazzy hugged Father Mulcahy, as they walked down. He said, "Thank you. Father."

Mulcahy noted the way Gazzy said Father. It was.. Different than people usually said. As if.. He was talking to his.. Actual Father.

Gazzy knew Father Mulcahy viewed him, as the closest thing.. He had to a son. And.. Gazzy felt the same.

Mulcahy picked up on this. He said, "Your welcome. My son."

Dusty said, "Alright.. Corporal Nudge, come on up." He turned to Margaret, "Houlihan.. You're her mentor?" Margaret nodded. Dusty continued, "This is her day, not yours. And.. If you say anything negative about her today.. You'll be lucky if you remain an officer." Dusty was a kind man.. But he didn't care for the thousands of complaints made by burns and Houlihan, over the course of the war.

Margaret said, "No need to worry, General. I have nothing bad to say about her. "

Both Nudge and Houlihan walked up to the stage. Once again.. Dusty took in how young nudge was (as he did for Angel and Gazzy) . . And whacked Flagg in the face with a suitcase.

Nudge smirked at seeing Flagg get hurt. She enjoyed watching him get what he deserved.

Houlihan stood up.. Preparing her speech. She said, "Nudge has been.. A very good nurse. The biggest difference between me and her.. Is the difference between me and everyone else in this camp. I am regular army. Most of you are not. Particularly, not Nudge. So. . We have all had our ups and downs. But in the time I have known her.. She has proven to be a good friend. Confident. An excellent nurse.."

Iggy interrupted, shouting from the crowd, "Amazing lover!"

All had a bit of laugh. Surprisingly, even Houlihan. But Houlihan finished her speech, "And.. As much as I have disagreements with her.. I'm glad she's recognized for her actions here in Korea."

Nudge was surprised. Houlihan actually showed some pride in her. She knew it would take a while.. But she's glad she could eventually get Houlihan to like her.

Dusty said, "She's promoted.. To Master Sergeant." The highest enlisted rank in the army. As usual.. New class a uniform. And new regular uniform. Dusty whispered to Nudge, "Don't worry, you also got some more fashionable clothes. They're in your tent, now."

Nudge took all that was given to her and walked off the stage.

Iggy complained, "Great.. now my girlfriend outranks me."

Nudge walked up next to him, "Oh, don't worry. Chances are, you're up next."

Dusty said, "Sergeant Iggy, you're next."

Iggy and Hunnicutt walked up on to the stage. Dusty saw Iggy's blind eyes. And turned to Flagg.. Taking his rifle.. And whacking Flagg in the nuts.

Dusty said, "Honestly, Flagg.. What the hell is your problem?!" He looked away from his crazed subordinate and to Hunnicutt, "I realize that... replacing captain McIntyre has been difficult. Both as a surgeon and as the boy's mentor. But from what I've seen, you're doing pretty well."

Hunnicutt said, "Thank you, General." He shook Dusty's hand, "Means a lot." He hadn't been sure he could replace trapper. Either, his place in the MASH, or as Iggy's mentor. But knowing that the General found him to be okay, reassured him.

Dusty said, "Please. Call me Dusty." He grabbed the brief case, "Now.. For your speech. "

Hunnicutt said, making his speech, "I haven't known sergeant Iggy for more than.. About two weeks or so now. But, in those two weeks. . He has been a very good friend. An excellent young surgeon. And a very good officer to those under him. I may not know him as well ol' trapper John... But I'm glad to be his mentor. And glad he's getting the recognition he deserves."

Iggy smiled. True.. It had been difficult adapting to trapper leaving. Even more so, to him being replaced. But he quickly grew to respect Hunnicutt. Hunnicutt was one if the best surgeons Iggy ever observed. And was a good man, so, Iggy liked him. Just as much as he liked trapper.

Dusty said, "Iggy is promoted.. To the rank.. Of First Lieutenant."

Iggy smiled as he was given the case, carrying his two new uniforms. He grasped Hunnicutt's welcoming hand, as they walked off the stage.

As Iggy and Hunnicutt walked off the stage.. Dusty took out another paper, "Next.. Sergeant Nicholas, 'Fang' Pierce." He sighed, "And his mentor, Captain Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce."

Hawkeye and Fang walked up to the stage. Dusty looked at Hawkeye, "Now.. I know how much you don't like Generals, Pierce.. But this isn't about you or me. I am your friend, unlike most other generals.. But today is your student's day." He turned away for a second, "excuse me." He saw Flagg trying to walk away.. And slammed Flagg's head against the hood of a jeep.

Hawkeye said, "You might be the first General I've ever met and liked." He looked over to Flagg, "So.. What's your deal with him?"

Dusty said, "If I had my way. . Flagg would never have been let into the army. Let alone the CIA." He said to Hawkeye, "Time for your speech."

Hawkeye stood there. Thinking of the words to his speech. He said, "This kid.. Is like family to me. So much so.. He adopted my surname. He has helped me in surgery.. In helping the Koreans, when they had problems.. And in being a close friend. We may have our laughs.. Pull some pranks on the rest of you.. And each other.. But he's one of the best friends I've ever had. As much as I'd like for his reward to be something more than promotion.. Like say.. Being sent home.." He joked, "and possibly going with him.." Everyone laughed. He regained his serious face, "But I'm glad he's accomplishments as a surgeon and friend are being recognized."

As with the other speeches, everyone clapped as Hawkeye got off the stage.

Dusty said, "Sergeant Pierce.. Is now promoted to the rank of Captain." He handed Fang his essentials. Fang followed his mentor off the stage.

Max said, "Way to go, babe." She sighed, "Who guess I'm next."

Dusty said, "Captain Maximum 'Max' Ride.. And her mentor.. Colonel Sherman T. Potter."

They both walked up. Dusty said, to Max, "I know Sherman's only been here about two weeks.. And your more used to the late Colonel Blake. But he's a good man, and officer. And a damn fine surgeon."

Max said, looking down, "Henry's.. Departure hit us all pretty hard. But.. I've known Colonel Potter since I was a kid. He saved us." She looked to her new mentor, "So.. I'm glad to have him here."

Dusty said, "Good. Now.. Sherman's real good at speeches. So.. Take a listen. "

Colonel potter looked over to the camp.

He said, smiling as he made his speech, "I have known all six of these young ones... Including Captain Ride.. Since before any of them could speak. I am a long time friend of their family.. And glad to say so. When I heard that Flagg brought them here.. I was ready to kick his keister all the way back to the states! As I knew these kids knew nothing about the military or about medical matters. But then.. When I was sent here.. And I saw just how capable they are.. I soon grew to understand.. That I was wrong. They are skilled enough to be here with the rest of us.. And they deserve to go home.. As the rest of us do." His smile seemed to grow as he looked at Max, "Their leader.. Has shown me that she is a good officer. An excellent student surgeon.. And a wonderful friend. As much as I would like to give her a medal and send her back home.. This promotion is an excellent way to gain her some recognition. And I'm proud of her for earning if."

Everyone clapped again. Dusty said, "Captain Max Ride is promoted to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel." He handed her, her new uniforms. He said, "And.. I know you're a better choice to give this than burns and Houlihan."

Max chuckled, "Thanks, sir." She grabbed her new belongings and got off the stage. Rejoining her Flock.

Fang said, "Nice work.. Colonel." He kissed her. After the kiss, he asked, "So.. What now?"

Max said, smirking, "After they leave.. Tonight.." She whispered, "Like every night.. You show me, how much you REALLY love me." She gave him a tight hug.. And deepened their kiss. They looked over and saw Iggy and Nudge doing the same

As the older couples kissed.. Angel and Gazzy went back to the tent. Determined to get some shut eye.

Dusty said, addressing their camp, "Those are all the promotions I have to give. So.. Now we shall take our leave."

Burns ran up to the towering four star, "Sir.. Why weren't Major Houlihan or I promoted?"

Dusty said simply "Houlihan still needs more points.. And you.." He bent down, to meet burns eyes, "Do not deserve it. You will never deserve it. Unless you make a BIG change. You understand."

Burns said, very afraid of the man, "Yes, sir, General sir."

Dusty said, "Good. Now.. Next time I'm here Burns.. You better play nice with the others.. Or I'll bust so low.. You'll be saying 'yes sir'.. To corporal O'Riley."

As Dusty lectured Burns on how he was supposed to act.. Anne walked by the Flock's tent.

She said, "It was good to see you all, again." They all had a group hug, "I don't know when we'll next see each other. Hopefully it's soon."

Max said, "Bye, Anne." She hugged her, "Next time."

Anne said, smiling through her tears, "Yep. And we'll do whatever you want." Anne looked to Fang, "You too, mister man."

Fang said, "Maybe in Tokyo. For some R&R." Anne hugged him again. He said, "Come on."

Anne chuckled, "You men. Always trying to avoid feelings." She let him go, "Tokyo, it is." She turned over to Iggy and Nudge. She said, "A blind surgeon."

Iggy said, hugging her, "Yeah yeah. See you in Tokyo. Love you Anne."

Anne said, "Love you too." She let go of him. She and Nudge hugged, "I got you done fancy new clothes. I'll send then to you, once I'm at HQ."

Nudge said, "I'd like that.. But it's not the same as being with you."

Anne said, smiling, "Okay.. We'll.. Make some time." The hug ended.

The little ones said nothing as Anne hugged then. They soon fell asleep. She said, "Goodnight, you two. See you."

They waved goodbye.. As Anne got into her jeep with Jane and Dusty. Dusty hit Flagg on the head one last time., knocking him out.. And shoved him in the trunk.

Dusty said, "I will never stop enjoying.. Beating Flagg like the rat he is."

Anne said, "Sir.. That's an insult to rats." As they all laughed, Anne got in the driver's seat.

Dusty said, "You're right. I'll try to be more polite to them."

They drove off, guarded by a CIA convoy.

(Next day).

Burns walked into Potter's office.

Potter asked, "What is it Burns? Another complaint?" He knew burns had something to complain about. He always did.

Burns said, "Uh.. Sir.. The promotions yesterday.. How come I wasn't promoted."

Potter replied, "Firstly.. No one recommended you. We don't think you deserve it."

Burns said, "Uh sir.. I happen to think otherwise. I would like to-"

Potter said, "If you want.. I know the General's private phone number.. So you could take it up with him."

Burns stopped when he heard that. He said, highly intimidated, "Thank you for your time, colonel." He walked out of the office.

Potter commented, "Jackass."


End file.
